Sticking By Partners/Family in Trouble
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 16
Sticking By Partners/Family in Trouble
I'm new to the site but want to get the thoughts of people on here about how they deal with a partner in trouble.
I have been getting into trouble (drink driving and assault) due to my drinking and am starting to face up to that. I have been told that I will be going to jail in a few weeks because of the assault. My girlfriend who has stuck by me until now has said it's over and has gone despite the fact that she is seven months pregnant with our kid. I would hate not to see my kid despite wherever I might be.
If I do go to jail as I expect I know I won't be able to do much to try and get her back at that stage so I want to do all I can now. If you've been through something similar what can I do to try and get her to stick by me or am I being unfair asking her to wait if I'm locked up for 6 or 12 months.
My family have been there for me - I'm 22 - but are saying that I've got myself in this mess and that I need to sort myself out. If you were in their position would you support a son by visiting and sending in cash if I get sent to jail. I know it's a lot to ask after all the problems I caused for them but I can't see myself getting through all that if I'm totally cut off.
Just finding this site useful and thought I'd get your views.
I have been getting into trouble (drink driving and assault) due to my drinking and am starting to face up to that. I have been told that I will be going to jail in a few weeks because of the assault. My girlfriend who has stuck by me until now has said it's over and has gone despite the fact that she is seven months pregnant with our kid. I would hate not to see my kid despite wherever I might be.
If I do go to jail as I expect I know I won't be able to do much to try and get her back at that stage so I want to do all I can now. If you've been through something similar what can I do to try and get her to stick by me or am I being unfair asking her to wait if I'm locked up for 6 or 12 months.
My family have been there for me - I'm 22 - but are saying that I've got myself in this mess and that I need to sort myself out. If you were in their position would you support a son by visiting and sending in cash if I get sent to jail. I know it's a lot to ask after all the problems I caused for them but I can't see myself getting through all that if I'm totally cut off.
Just finding this site useful and thought I'd get your views.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: MN
Posts: 35
You do the crime- you do the time. No one should be sending you money. Visiting is a personal decision. You need to focus on yourself and getting through this, if you and the girlsfriend can also work something out, then great. Maybe she has finally wised up and decided to get her life in to a better place.
Sorry if this is too harsh.
Good luck.
Sorry if this is too harsh.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Sometimes they call it rock bottom for a reason....
If you really want the help and support of people that love you, trying looking at yourself and becoming a person that they can support and love. Until such a time that you have something to offer them, why keep hurting them.
If you keep the focus on you, your recovery and getting life straight the rest will fall into place.
If you really want the help and support of people that love you, trying looking at yourself and becoming a person that they can support and love. Until such a time that you have something to offer them, why keep hurting them.
If you keep the focus on you, your recovery and getting life straight the rest will fall into place.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
Hey Paul, welcome to SR,,,
As a codie, I "helped and was there" for my A a number of times.
It only allowed him to keep making the decison to drink.
Since I have stopped, his life has done a downward spiral. He's still looking for help from others.
Only when he begins to help himself, will he truly be on the path to recovery.
We codies have to do the EXACT same thing. If we look to our A's to help us, we are just being enabled to continue our destructive ways. Only when we focus on ourselves, do we begin to recover
Peace
As a codie, I "helped and was there" for my A a number of times.
It only allowed him to keep making the decison to drink.
Since I have stopped, his life has done a downward spiral. He's still looking for help from others.
Only when he begins to help himself, will he truly be on the path to recovery.
We codies have to do the EXACT same thing. If we look to our A's to help us, we are just being enabled to continue our destructive ways. Only when we focus on ourselves, do we begin to recover
Peace
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