Romancing the past,,,
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
I am not the only one whose mind plays tricks on them.
I higly recommend this book. The thing I like about it is its in "simple" language I can understand and tie into my own experinces.
romancing the past and remembering the truth I make progress each and every day. when my codie mind wants to do what it does best, take care of my A, I take the "dreamin" out of my past and remember what REALLY happened.
If a thread helps ONE person who is suffering from the codie addiction, it is worth the time to share,,
Peace
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Anchorage, AK
Posts: 221
After I informed my RA that I am filing for divorce three weeks ago, he continues to call every day and actually said that "it's very sad that another person (i.e. another woman) is going to get the best part of him" after everything that I've put up with. He asks me if it bothers me that he is not begging, pleading, and crying for me not to file the paperwork (it doesn't), and says that the "divorce is my thing and he's just going to go with it."
I've been with this man for ten years, five of them married. Our daughter is almost two and a half and he has not once paid her childcare bill. Not once! Yet he proclaims his undying love for me and her. Words, words... Why do we have such a difficult time remembering all the crap they drag us through? I figure, if the guy hasn't lived up to his potential in ten years, he never will. Period.
I've been with this man for ten years, five of them married. Our daughter is almost two and a half and he has not once paid her childcare bill. Not once! Yet he proclaims his undying love for me and her. Words, words... Why do we have such a difficult time remembering all the crap they drag us through? I figure, if the guy hasn't lived up to his potential in ten years, he never will. Period.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
Hey an'ka,,long time no see GIRL?!?!?
It is AMAZING how much time we codies will spend, holding out, to get "romancing the past". I personally think, sometimes "remembering the truth" is very hard to handle.
For me, it reminds me of how blind and in denial I can be.
Sort of like having a conversation with yourself
Self: Hey wasn't the week and a half A was sober blissful? He cooked me dinner, payed some bills, we did laundry, went dreaded shopping, and most of all held each other and told each other what a wonderful future we had together.
Codie Self: It doens't matter that after that week and a half you came home and could smell the alcohol before you even stepped foot in the door. And when you did, he had that "look" in his eye that told you to run. The only place to go was curled up in a fetal positon on the bed. Hostage to the situation as he continued to try to break the shell you had encompased around you to protect. "why doesn't he passed out? oh please, just make it go away, I can't live like this, my stomach hurts and i feel like I'm dying, I'm paralyzed and can't move to even get out of this situation",,,
And oh how my pity pot would go on,,,
I am ashamed today when I remember the truth.
I can't beleive I was that weak
No wonder I choose to bury it for so long,,,
Peace
It is AMAZING how much time we codies will spend, holding out, to get "romancing the past". I personally think, sometimes "remembering the truth" is very hard to handle.
For me, it reminds me of how blind and in denial I can be.
Sort of like having a conversation with yourself
Self: Hey wasn't the week and a half A was sober blissful? He cooked me dinner, payed some bills, we did laundry, went dreaded shopping, and most of all held each other and told each other what a wonderful future we had together.
Codie Self: It doens't matter that after that week and a half you came home and could smell the alcohol before you even stepped foot in the door. And when you did, he had that "look" in his eye that told you to run. The only place to go was curled up in a fetal positon on the bed. Hostage to the situation as he continued to try to break the shell you had encompased around you to protect. "why doesn't he passed out? oh please, just make it go away, I can't live like this, my stomach hurts and i feel like I'm dying, I'm paralyzed and can't move to even get out of this situation",,,
And oh how my pity pot would go on,,,
I am ashamed today when I remember the truth.
I can't beleive I was that weak
No wonder I choose to bury it for so long,,,
Peace
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