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Third relapse-is it time to leave?

Old 05-29-2007, 09:48 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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CE-- I am doing okay. I have been giving myself some space. I went away for the weekend, saw friends, took time for myself. I'm still all confused about what to do. I am seeing a lawyer this afternoon...maybe that will help clarify things.

hopeangel--thanks for your insight....I appreciate your candor.
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Old 05-29-2007, 09:51 AM
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Originally Posted by caity1 View Post
Hi everyone. I am new to this site. My husband went into a 30 day program in december 2005 after almost drinking himself to death. He is a good man and a successful businessman. He got out of rehab in January 2006. He had a 1 day relapse in June 2006. He then had a 1 day relapse in October 2006, during which he bacame emotionally abusive towards me and it took him several days to detox with librium. He then remained sober until last week, when he fell off the wagon and drank for 4 days, missing 2 days of work, and ended up in the hospital overnight to begin detoxing on librium. He is now back at home and work, and has been sober for 7 days, but I have been staying with my mother. He lied to me several times about his drinking last week, and I am not sure I am going to stay with him. I have an appointment with a lawyer on Tuesday.

I love my husband, but he is very ill. We do not have children, and I am 32 and want a family very badly. I am really struggling with whether I should stay or leave. I h ope this time he'll clean up his act for good, but I don't feel like I can trust him. I am not sure I want to live my life looking over my shoulder and waiting for another relapse. My husband has always shunned AA and said it wasn't for him. Now he says he plans on going to occasional meetings. I just don't know what to think. Any words of wisdom?


Welcome Caity! ((Hugs)) It is your choice to leave and it appears that you are battling with that right now-keep reading and posting, maybe counseling and or Al-Alanon it may help guide your decision which only you can decide.

I feel your pain with the children situation and truly my heart goes out to you. I was married to a wonderful man (Middle School sweetheart) who was killed on the job-we had planned a wonderful life together-house-Check, Dog - Check, Business- Check,Kids-did not happen he was taken too soon. I was only 21 and felt at that point my life was over-(which it was not) I moved on after 3 years started dating again-For 5 years-but it ended (Drinking issues), met a wonderful guy dated 2 years (Probably the one for me but "codie" did not believe so) then on to a few others here and there most with drinking problems (not to badly) and then the last one at 35 years of age and wanting children at this point so badly! Things were great (or so I thought!) I ended up pregnant and ending up loosing the baby (due to STRESS brought on by myself and my XA) and after a few others things that went really wrong in our realtionship-I woke up and looked at my track record and realized there was not only something wrong with the men I was with but there was something going on with me.

There was a reason I lost the baby and thank God everyday that I did not bring an innocent child into this world and into the chaos that would have still been a part of my life is some shape or form.

I have met a wonderful man who I went to High School with and the focus now is on ME and my recovery-which he understands (some days it is hard taking into account that I still love my XA and still long for a child) I truly believe that if it is meant to happen God willing it will. I also find that when I do not linger or dwell on certain things they happen just the way it is planned.

(((Hugs)))) and prayers to you that you-and only you find the answers and make the right choice for yourself.
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