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He seems fine!

Old 05-24-2007, 10:33 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I'm checking in Sista!!!

Did I have a morning,,,

But first let me tell ya,,,I'm holding true to our deal. How you doin?

So, I get to work this morning, and on the way, I get this feeling of dread. I don't know about you, but I've been given this gift (curse?) by the spirits. I don't want to get all mystical here, cause let me tell ya, I am WAY too kool for that, but the gift? Its like a sixth sense. Not a premonition per say, cause If it was, you'd be talking to the mewest millionaire cause I could predict the lottery!!! he,he,he, But a "feelin" if you will. I actually said, out loud, with no one in the car, UH OH, somethings gonna happen today.

But I digress

So, I'm sitting in a meeting, and my cell rings. Rude to answer it, so I let it go to voicemail. Didn't recognize the number, and ~bam~ that sixth sense pops back in and says, 'you need to listen to that message'. I NEVER leave a meeting. Gotta get my donut ya know,,, Anyway, I excused myself and listened. It was the emergency room at a local hospital tellin me my sister was just brought in, They couldn't tell me over the phone what was going on, just said I should come if I could. I think I should mention here, my sister is a recoving addict. At least 30 years. Her DOC? Heroin. She has had long periods of sobriety (one 13 years) followed by short relapses peridodically through the years. I knew she was having a TON of issues with her family as we talked at length last Sunday. I could tell she was not working her program, but WAS clean and staying on her methadone. When I hung up I was VERY concerned.

It appears she tried to take her own life last night.

OD'd on valium. Her son found her this morning. The are giving her BOATLOADS of narcane (sp?) but it doesn't seem to be working. She is in ICU, with tubes all over the place. It's touch and go.

I guess the spirits wanted to distract me from my own little BS today

It's been easy staying away from my A

Prayers please

Peace
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Old 05-24-2007, 10:55 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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CEGirl, prayers are with you and your sister. Keep us posted.
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Old 05-24-2007, 11:31 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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((((CE)))))

Keep us posted, Sis! We are praying for you all!
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Old 05-24-2007, 12:43 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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"Wouldn't life be easier if he wasn't MY problem?" Therein you have the answer. You have the codie mentality that HIS problem is YOUR problem. You have to learn to separate to the two. It's called building boundaries. His problems are his to own. Period. Your problem is your addiction to his problems. I must commend you on staying strong through this ordeal. Keep venting here. We all know you are feeling like an emotional trainwreck right now. But you are having the normal withdrawal symptoms, just like the A has his withdrawal from the booze.
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Old 05-24-2007, 01:12 PM
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"Emotional train wreck." That's an understatement.

I don't know how an alcoholic goes through withdrawals because this is killing me.

But, deep breath, moment by moment.
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Old 05-24-2007, 01:21 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Sista,,keep writing/reading, let them fingers fly across the keyboard and give it to us BOTH BARRELLS. Anything, something, WHATEVER.

This too will pass Girl

It IS weird relating to them in this way huh?

I'm thinking, I'd be on my 6th beer by now,,,

ok, ok, I'm desperate, my humor's a little off,,

Or did it at least make you smile

I know its tough, the more you don't, the more you WANT too. But your sending a VERY clear message. NO MORE "status quo" remember?

This is what YOU want remember?

And as long as we're using the alcoholic as an example, ask one what it feels like to not wake up hung over and sick the next day

Me thinks your gonna know tomorrow morning. And that in the day, will be a little easier

We're here

Peace
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Old 05-24-2007, 02:05 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by CE Girl View Post
Or did it at least make you smile
You did!
Thanks!

No hang-overs for me tomorrow!!
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Old 05-24-2007, 05:23 PM
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Just keep in mind that this will NOT kill you. And what doesn't kill us will make us stronger.
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Old 05-24-2007, 06:01 PM
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Actually if he's offering you money to go home he isn't doing as well as you think.

He wants to make you think he's doing well to make you insecure so you'll go home.

Earthworm

Originally Posted by chero View Post
HE is doing FINE without me.
That really ticks me off. I know it shouldn't. I know it's just my little codie-brain saying nobody will ever need you again. But couldn't he just pretend to need me???

Why do I care??? I shouldn't care!! I KNOW I SHOULDN'T CARE!
BUT I DO!

He told me if I came home then some things were going to be different. YA THINK??
Of course, he also offered me money to come home.
MONEY??? SERIOUSLY?? What is he paying me for my services now!? I had money when I was with him and that didn't make everything better?!?!

I know! Why am I taking his calls!?!? I DON'T KNOW! I'm not really taking them. I'm just reading his text msgs. Which I guess if I was in a healthy place I wouldn't do.

Speaking of healthy. I start counselling tomorrow. I'm a little bit nervous because I've never done anything like this before. But I don't care...nervous or not. I'm going! I NEED HELP!

But why is he doing so well without me???
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