Reminders, Please.....
Fool To Do Your Dirty Work
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Greenflower Street
Posts: 362
Reminders, Please.....
Hi all - phone was ringing off the hook last night - actually unplugged it - didn't answer 
Feeling a little wobbly today - please remind me that I am doing the right thing....need to hear these things deserately today....
Remind me how bad it would be if I went back...don't hold back!
Thanks!
Feeling a little wobbly today - please remind me that I am doing the right thing....need to hear these things deserately today....
Remind me how bad it would be if I went back...don't hold back!
Thanks!
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I know that you are doing the right thing, for you.
You hold the key to your future, your happiness, in the palm of your hand...it does not lie in his, never has, never will.
Stay strong, you can do this, one day at a time.
You hold the key to your future, your happiness, in the palm of your hand...it does not lie in his, never has, never will.
Stay strong, you can do this, one day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Hey sweetie....
Play the tape all the way through remember all the times he was going to "change" .... what happened?????.... think about the progresson, where will you be in another 5 years if you keep doing what your doing..... Insanity?
This is your life, he has no right to harrasse you by calling all night. That is plan disrespectful sweetie and you should be offended. If you say NO in any instance.... it means NO... it does not mean try harder to annoy you.
Play the tape all the way through remember all the times he was going to "change" .... what happened?????.... think about the progresson, where will you be in another 5 years if you keep doing what your doing..... Insanity?
This is your life, he has no right to harrasse you by calling all night. That is plan disrespectful sweetie and you should be offended. If you say NO in any instance.... it means NO... it does not mean try harder to annoy you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: By the sea
Posts: 415
Oh sweet (((Kglast)))...it does get easier!
When I feel "wobbly" I try to:
- Read all I can about how it is a progressive disease (books and SR)...this helps me to remember what I will have to look forward to if I go back...remind myself that the best case scenario is that he quits and I spend the rest of my life not trusting him and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Also, at least in the case of my AH, realizing that even if he does quit...he will be a dry drunk who will still bring misery to my life (my AH is a FAR way away from doing some serious inner-work).
-Really concentrating on what MY needs are in a mate and what I deserve in this life. I am a good person, and a damn good catch (if I do say so myself), I deserve to be CHERISHED. Facing my fears of being alone...and getting in touch with my refusal to settle for less than I deserve. If this means being alone, so be it...I don't want to spend my time on this earth dealing with alcoholic b.s. I deserve more. I have so much to give...I don't want to waste it on the black hole of someone else's addiction and/or inability to dedicate themselves to getting their sh*t together.
-Distracting myself with things that are good for me: exercise, meeting up with friends, happy movies, silly sitcoms, learning new things, tending to my plants, buying gifts for loved ones, shopping for pretty things that make me feel good, stretching, cooking, bike riding, feeding the ducks in a nearby pond, etc.
-Talking with my therapist...she always seems to find a way to talk sense into me.
When I feel "wobbly" I try to:
- Read all I can about how it is a progressive disease (books and SR)...this helps me to remember what I will have to look forward to if I go back...remind myself that the best case scenario is that he quits and I spend the rest of my life not trusting him and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Also, at least in the case of my AH, realizing that even if he does quit...he will be a dry drunk who will still bring misery to my life (my AH is a FAR way away from doing some serious inner-work).
-Really concentrating on what MY needs are in a mate and what I deserve in this life. I am a good person, and a damn good catch (if I do say so myself), I deserve to be CHERISHED. Facing my fears of being alone...and getting in touch with my refusal to settle for less than I deserve. If this means being alone, so be it...I don't want to spend my time on this earth dealing with alcoholic b.s. I deserve more. I have so much to give...I don't want to waste it on the black hole of someone else's addiction and/or inability to dedicate themselves to getting their sh*t together.
-Distracting myself with things that are good for me: exercise, meeting up with friends, happy movies, silly sitcoms, learning new things, tending to my plants, buying gifts for loved ones, shopping for pretty things that make me feel good, stretching, cooking, bike riding, feeding the ducks in a nearby pond, etc.
-Talking with my therapist...she always seems to find a way to talk sense into me.
full of hope
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
((((KGLAST)))))
Just remind yourself what you would be going back to.
Remember all that bad??
Don't forget it's okay to put YOURSELF first! It's okay to take care of YOU!!
It's okay to make YOUR life about YOU!!! Don't feel guilty for wanting something better!
YOU DESERVE BETTER!!
Just remind yourself what you would be going back to.
Remember all that bad??
Don't forget it's okay to put YOURSELF first! It's okay to take care of YOU!!
It's okay to make YOUR life about YOU!!! Don't feel guilty for wanting something better!
YOU DESERVE BETTER!!
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
I went back and read your first post here. You said that he couldn't go more than 6 or 7 days without drinking.
This is a reminder that you are doing the right thing.
You've also mentioned that you have told him that you don't want to talk to him if he's drinking, etc. He's still drinking, calling you late at night, etc. You see - it's still all about HIM and not about you or your son.
You need to continue to protect your son from having to experience your A's problems and alcoholism.
You know in your heart that you are doing the right thing - for your son and yourself.
Hang in there.
This is a reminder that you are doing the right thing.
You've also mentioned that you have told him that you don't want to talk to him if he's drinking, etc. He's still drinking, calling you late at night, etc. You see - it's still all about HIM and not about you or your son.
You need to continue to protect your son from having to experience your A's problems and alcoholism.
You know in your heart that you are doing the right thing - for your son and yourself.
Hang in there.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Charlotte, NC
Posts: 27
If it makes you feel any better -- I'm there too! I have been separated from AH, living with our 3-year old DD in a rental home now for 12 days (who is counting!?). The best thing to do is as others have mentionned... just get out and stay busy. I realized I have fantastic neighbors with lots of young kids for my daughter to play with. But, it takes the effort of getting out there to connect. Good luck refocusing your energy... you are doing the RIGHT thing! Yeah, you, for sticking to your boundaries!
TroubledNC
TroubledNC
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
