flwrchld

After working the past year with my AH, and my father in law, I have noticed considerable similarities in the two of them. My Father in law doesn't drink on a regular basis, my husband binge drinks sometimes more than others, and does drugs. My question (thought) or rather what I have noticed is that the two of them act alot the same. Dr Jekle and Mr Hyde. They act like spoiled little brats who need their butts spanked. and sent to their rooms. I have really never noticed in all my 18 years of being in this family, but they are REALLY disfunctional. Fighting yelling, lying, being completely awful one day, and hugging, standing by each other, the next day. A constant state of hating to be corrected, or left alone, they have to make all the decisions, which I think is why the two of them but heads so much. They are both controlling butt heads who will not listen to logic. They always have to be right, no matter how wrong they are. The office stays in a constant state of confusion for me anyway. You never know what you are going to walk into. Yikes!

I guess you could call my father in law a dry drunk. He has all the moves of a drunk, yet doesn't drink (that I know of). I really try to distance myself and my kids from him as much as possible. He is like a human Soap Opera. So dramatic, yet when a real problem arises he sticks his head in the sand. Geez is this what my husband is going to be like when he is pushing 80?

This is really scary!

minnie

I really started to reach a deeper understanding of my situation when I realised that I was holding drink responsible for all the dysfunctional behaviour that I saw in my ex and his family. Indeed, when I started looking closer to home at my own extended family, I could see the same kind of stuff going on, yet there are no substance abuse problems.

The apple don't fall far from the tree. However, we all have the capacity to change how we deal with whatever life throws at us and the interactions with other people. Never has there been so much information out there in the form of books, magazines, therapists, TV, websites, support groups etc. Sometimes it's more comfortable to maintain the status quo, though.