Can a recovering alcoholic decide to drink moderately?
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 74
As I've stated here before I'm not an alcoholic or an addict. I came on this site due to being around alcoholics and addicts growing up.
I've been going to aa and na and counseling meetings with family and friends for a long time. Since I was a kid. My information comes from that and years of studying to get a better understanding of my family members and friends problems for myself.
I brought it up because it is something that is overlooked quite often. I do agree most true alcoholics never can drink normally. What I was trying to explain is that most people who think they are addicts or alcoholics really have other issues that drive them to use drugs or drinking that turns problematic.
An example of what I'm talking about is this.
- A friend of mine for many years meets us up one night at a lounge. He comes out maybe once a month. Drinks lightly, never does drugs etc..... Within about an hour and a half he has 2 drinks. He leaves to pick up his girlfriend and gets pulled over a few blocks away for going 5mph over the limit. He passes the field sobriety test and agrees to a breathalizer. He is exactly at the legal limit. He gets a DUI. He goes to court and all that and gets his probation. Immediately people start calling him an alcoholic and pointing fingers and all that. He refuses the random drug tests he is supposed to pay for because he thinks it is ridiculous. The judge sentences him to mandatory drug testing and out patient rehab and all this other stuff because of his initial refusal.
Now he's forced to spend time 5 days of the week with counselors, meetings, etc.
About 3 months into all of this he starts drinking heavier than he had when he was even in college. Out every weekend. Why? because he was an alcoholic? No....... Because mentally all the wear and tear from everyone calling him an alcoholic when he wasn't broke him down. He started to figure, "If everyone is going to force me to do this so I don't go to jail I might as well party".
He meets all his requirements and the case is over and he goes back to drinking once or twice a month with friends at dinner or a lounge.
Now if he had not shaken that idea that he was an alcoholic like 100 people were trying to bury down his throat he may have kept binging after his requirements were done. But he didn't
I've been going to aa and na and counseling meetings with family and friends for a long time. Since I was a kid. My information comes from that and years of studying to get a better understanding of my family members and friends problems for myself.
I brought it up because it is something that is overlooked quite often. I do agree most true alcoholics never can drink normally. What I was trying to explain is that most people who think they are addicts or alcoholics really have other issues that drive them to use drugs or drinking that turns problematic.
An example of what I'm talking about is this.
- A friend of mine for many years meets us up one night at a lounge. He comes out maybe once a month. Drinks lightly, never does drugs etc..... Within about an hour and a half he has 2 drinks. He leaves to pick up his girlfriend and gets pulled over a few blocks away for going 5mph over the limit. He passes the field sobriety test and agrees to a breathalizer. He is exactly at the legal limit. He gets a DUI. He goes to court and all that and gets his probation. Immediately people start calling him an alcoholic and pointing fingers and all that. He refuses the random drug tests he is supposed to pay for because he thinks it is ridiculous. The judge sentences him to mandatory drug testing and out patient rehab and all this other stuff because of his initial refusal.
Now he's forced to spend time 5 days of the week with counselors, meetings, etc.
About 3 months into all of this he starts drinking heavier than he had when he was even in college. Out every weekend. Why? because he was an alcoholic? No....... Because mentally all the wear and tear from everyone calling him an alcoholic when he wasn't broke him down. He started to figure, "If everyone is going to force me to do this so I don't go to jail I might as well party".
He meets all his requirements and the case is over and he goes back to drinking once or twice a month with friends at dinner or a lounge.
Now if he had not shaken that idea that he was an alcoholic like 100 people were trying to bury down his throat he may have kept binging after his requirements were done. But he didn't
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 74
Another long story this time very short is a good friend of mine who was an alcoholic for about 10 years.
She started drinking in highschool and right away was basically a full blown alcoholic. 10 years later she seeks help on her own and finds out she just has horrible anxiety and depression issues. She goes to therapy for about a year takes some temporary meds and she can happily drink socially from time to time.
I wasn't going against anyone here I was just voicing something I think is also important for people who may be drinking to smother other problems.
She started drinking in highschool and right away was basically a full blown alcoholic. 10 years later she seeks help on her own and finds out she just has horrible anxiety and depression issues. She goes to therapy for about a year takes some temporary meds and she can happily drink socially from time to time.
I wasn't going against anyone here I was just voicing something I think is also important for people who may be drinking to smother other problems.
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 74
Those aren't the only 2 exceptions or examples. I could tell dozens of stories about people I've known and met through the world of alcoholism and addiction. I was never an alcoholic or an addict myself. I've lived with both and that is why I have no one sided opinion. I'm not sticking up for either end of the stick I just wanted to make it clear there is no "one way only" for anyone.
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
Originally Posted by laurie6781 
Actually I don't believe they are exceptions.
Been sober a long time now. When I first got into recovery here is how it was explained to me:
All alcoholics are problem drinkers. Not all problem drinkers are alcoholics. A problem drinker given enough motivation, ie loss of family, job, etc can learn how to drink moderately.
I personally over the years have seen this happen to several friends, who themselves thought they were alcoholics. Somehow, they hadn't crossed that "invisible line" YET and were able to grow up in AA, and mature and today do have an occasional drink or two. Amazes me every time I have seen it.
So to this day I stand by saying that a "Problem Drinker" can learn to moderate.
An alcoholic like myself ............................. NO WAY.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
Been sober a long time now. When I first got into recovery here is how it was explained to me:
All alcoholics are problem drinkers. Not all problem drinkers are alcoholics. A problem drinker given enough motivation, ie loss of family, job, etc can learn how to drink moderately.
I personally over the years have seen this happen to several friends, who themselves thought they were alcoholics. Somehow, they hadn't crossed that "invisible line" YET and were able to grow up in AA, and mature and today do have an occasional drink or two. Amazes me every time I have seen it.
So to this day I stand by saying that a "Problem Drinker" can learn to moderate.
An alcoholic like myself ............................. NO WAY.
J M H O
Love and hugs,
So often it's an alcoholic trying to convince himself/others one gets a bit jaded however. For every time I saw a "heavy drinker" return to "normal drinking" I probably saw 5000 alcoholics try and fail.
Two of the guys I knew that "went back out" when we were sober young, now drink alcoholically 15 years later although it probably took them ten years to get there.
I think "anecdotal stories" about "some guy i met" or "this girl I knew" however do nothing in any area to sway my opinion in the slightest bit about any subject whatsoever, it's just my experience and observation.
Truly the only person I can report about with any authority about is myself, and after a few "successful attempts" at drinking, I can say with 100% assurance that I can indeed drink successfully after a long period of sobriety.
The rest of my life however, suffers terribly, I drink and keep breaking out in Handcuffs and Jail cells.
Strange......I'm such a NICE guy too.........
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 596
It's been my experience that there are people who drink and alcohol isn't a problem for them, and there are people who drink who alcohol is a problem for. I like to drink on occasion, about as much as I'd like to eat a piece of Baklava. Definitely not a part of my regular diet, but fun to have on occasion.
Out of all of my friends, there are a few who have had drug or booze related consequences and only those few seem to have problems with alcohol. Not saying they are alcoholics for certain because that is their inventory, so to speak, but it would be very doubtful that any of my other friends would have consequences related to booze.
Where there's smoke, there is often fire. That's just my opinion.
Out of all of my friends, there are a few who have had drug or booze related consequences and only those few seem to have problems with alcohol. Not saying they are alcoholics for certain because that is their inventory, so to speak, but it would be very doubtful that any of my other friends would have consequences related to booze.
Where there's smoke, there is often fire. That's just my opinion.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by SonofaMess
Those aren't the only 2 exceptions or examples. I could tell dozens of stories about people I've known and met through the world of alcoholism and addiction. I was never an alcoholic or an addict myself. I've lived with both and that is why I have no one sided opinion. I'm not sticking up for either end of the stick I just wanted to make it clear there is no "one way only" for anyone.
All of the scientific evidence I have read strongly suggests that it is indeed incurable, definitely progressive, and probably genetic. In a nutshell, my body cannot process alcohol in the same way as a non-alcoholic.
To parrot myths about alcoholism is very dangerous for folks sitting on the fence, it isn't like a practicing alcoholic needs a lot of excuses to continue drinking.
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