HolyQow

If it didn't interfer with sobriety, then paying them by you or someone else makes no difference. It's more of a pride thing (imo), and that means alot to people whether alcoholic or not.

I was just curious what you decided guync? As you can see, everyone has an opinion about MONEY and how everyone should spend it. I also know that your ex was in the hospital recently, and possibly still recovering....does that have something to do with your decision process? I think that would affect me a bit in trying to decide what's best for myself (and the kids).

I was just being nosey...

HQ

guyinNC

I have really appreciated all the advice. The jury seems to suggest letting her take care of her own bills. I'm leaning that way, but have not completely decided

I have the money, the bills are not that great. But as suggested, I do not want creditors thinking this address is a legit one. I was going to pay by certified check from a bank that did not link to me.

Her dad sent some photos of her to me today to forward to the kids. She looked very pretty but still very thin. I looked at her photo for a long time......remembering the wife I once knew, wondering if any of her is left or was it just a shell..................

Grasshopper

Hi HolyQow,you say that paying them by me or someone else makes no difference.Although you may personally feel this way,i will differ,.its not a pride thingy.its about taking responsibility,,about being honest,and about living life on life terms.Sober.Handing my issues,allowing another to take over my issues,i then learn nothing at all.Im all for support,mind you.But i dont let others take over,what i need to learn.The pressues of the many phone calls,from the bill collectors,i thought that i would drown and go back to drinking.What i learned,was that i didnt drink,and that recovery does work when i work it through all my isses.Had another taken over my bills,i would not have learned this.i would still think that i needed others to do for me,what i need to do for myself.Especially as im alcoholic.And being alcoholic i NEED to deal and face the conquences of my actions,or i may repeat drinking and saying heck it wasnt so bad...But it was bad,and i was faced with all the conquences,and through this i have changed,one day at a time.
Thanks for letting me share.

Grasshopper

guyinc,my prayers for you and your family,

rosalie

Interesting long posts. My opinion? If you have the money? Pay them if that brings you some comfort. Personally I would for all the reasons you stated. Good idea to pay them by certified check. Perhaps this will give you some closure.

lovemypup

Guy I think you have come along way in your recovery and you know in your heart what you want to do. Whether you pay them or not is totally up to you. You know what enabling is and have been through the whole scoop, we don't have to tell you.

Do what your heart tells you, because your heart is stronger from all your recovery and I think you can trust it again.