denny

My AH who is a binge drinker is comming over tonight to have a big discussion "about living arrangements, what I expect from him when he comes home etc," When he said that, I started feeling pressured, and need to know how to hadle this situation. He has been out of the house and absinent for 7 days today, and went to his first alcohol counselor appointment today.
he Asked dont I think things are better, can't i see an improvement?
Ugh!! I don't even want to have that conversation, I don't know what to say.......

CE Girl

Then don't,,,,,,

What are you doing for your OWN recovery?

If your not ready, then its pretty simple. If seven days isn't long enough, then wait till it IS long enough. Pressure is just another form of manipulation.

I'm sorry if I seem a tad short. But, I'm so done with being a victim. Aren't you?

Peace

minnie

If you don't want to have the conversation, then don't.

I learnt not to always live my life by other people's timetables......

prodigal

Improvement in 7 days - NOT! I agree with what CE and Minnie have said. You don't feel comfortable. Say what you mean and mean what you say, but don't say it mean. That's what we used to say in Al-Anon. If he starts to argue, cut off the conversation. It's called maintaining boundaries.

loveRoy

Do what you want to do. Don't let him manipulate you. Stand your ground.

LGLG07

my ah is doing this exact thing to me know . we have been seperated about 2 wks since his last discharge from rehab ... he thinks because this time is 'different' and he really 'gets it now' i should just be jumping up and down and rolling out the red carpet for him . he just doesnt understand how he has to start at the bottom and work his way up . i tell him all the time to be patient .
i find that the only thing that works with him now is exactly what prodigal suggested , say what you mean but dont say it mean . the firmer i am with him , the better he takes what i have to say . and listen to yourself , dont think that even if you dont really want to see him , it'll be okay ... its not okay .
dont see him if you dont want to , simple as that

lots of luck ! (())s

chero

Yep, 7 days does not sobriety make!

Stay strong!!
(((((Denny)))))

dollydo

7 days....that is a drop in the bucket...how about 7 months of soberity before you even attempt to have this conversation.

What to say...that's easy...don't come over, we have nothing to discuss at this time.

What's the rush? Time for his actions to back up his words...