CE Girl

Way to go Sista!!!! You did something for YOURSELF first this time!! Now take it a step further and get serious about the no contact. That would be something else you can do for YOU.

I know it's hard. There are so many unresolved issues/feelings. The thought of having to "live" with them and not have any answers, hard to fathom. But, it could very well be the case.

Suicide threats? Just shows that it's still "all about him"

Biggest question I ever had, "when is it going to be about me?" And what my A has done to me. I finally got that kind of thinking just continues to make me a victim.

The only way its gonna be about me, is if I make it that way.

You and I are BOTH trying to make that a reality

Keep posting, writing, talking, crying, screaming WHATEVER it takes to not turn to him.

Peace

Zoey

chero, How was the rest of your day?

dollydo

Chero,

I am sooo very proud of you, your getting the hang of this.

Hugs,
Dolly

StandingStrong

chero: you did the right thing.
No contact is very hard to do - we've come so accustomed to taking care of the A in our lives. We've become used to handling everything and trying to control them and the many stressful situations that come from the A. It's out of habit and/or learned behavior, I believe, that keeps us wanting to keep doing what we've always done, but in the end we know that is sheer insanity.
Let him do as he wishes - you keep on focusing on YOU and your life.
It's really hard to be where you are - but it does get easier.

Zoey

chero, how was your day today??

Sunflower

goodbye chero--I will always pray for you--look under my posts entitled''everyone'' You keep hanging in there you will make it

chero

Well, today was good. I just got home at midnight. Went to a church thing in OKC with some friends. It was fun.

AH started texting me and he called me this morning. It's weird.

I have resolved in my heart that I can't be with him while he is drinking but I realized tonight that I haven't resolved to let go of the marriage!?

So now I'm confused. Do I just pretend like we aren't married and go about my life hoping for reconciliation...someday?? Or do I just end it.

I'm really confused right now about it.

But overall it was a good day. I've realized the mornings are much easier than the evenings. It's hard to be alone in the evenings.

You guys are so great, though! I come here and find strength and encouragement! I know I'd never have been able to leave without all my SR buddies supporting me!

LiLL

Hi Chero,
I haven't come to SR for a few days.... So glad to know you're doing fine, doing better and better.... you asked whether you sould hope for reconciliation or just end your marriage. It's a decision you don't have to make today, but you will have an answer in time. If you haven't resolved to let go of the marraige, it means you're still holding on some hopes, which is normal I guess, esepically at this stage after you just left your AH. Stay detached and let his actions tell you whether he's worth your waiting for him. Give yourself a deadline maybe? How much longer are you willing to wait to see the changes?
Meanwhile, please stay safe! I left my AH before, and refused to talk to him until he's sober. He made threats too .... whatever he said, I replied with "If you really want to talk, we talk when you're sober". His threats didn't really frighten me because I just stopped taking him seriously whenever he has alchohol in his body.