I did it...
Hope3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 2,155
Dear Chero, you have dealt with what reality dealt you, sadly , but
true............time to move on...........all the wonderful advice above
can help you...I just want to take a pause to hug you, ready, (((((((((chero)))))))
cause, you are the best person that you know right now...You can do it...you are worth it...........
Best wishes, hope3
true............time to move on...........all the wonderful advice above
can help you...I just want to take a pause to hug you, ready, (((((((((chero)))))))
cause, you are the best person that you know right now...You can do it...you are worth it...........
Best wishes, hope3
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
There was a time Chero.
There was a time I stayed alone, and worried and cried. I wondered why over and over in my head , why? Why was going through all this pain, this loss, this terrible journey had begun and I myself was alone.
Everything I thought was wrong.
Everything I believed in was gone.
And as I sat alone, in the dark, this world was the last place where I wanted to be.
I learned more about myself in my travels, as you shall.
I believed in myself once again, and the power I now hold within me is stronger then ever.
These first steps you took are the very hardest to do.
Your new chapter has begun and the next story is now yours alone to create.
In time all will be revealed.
There was a time I stayed alone, and worried and cried. I wondered why over and over in my head , why? Why was going through all this pain, this loss, this terrible journey had begun and I myself was alone.
Everything I thought was wrong.
Everything I believed in was gone.
And as I sat alone, in the dark, this world was the last place where I wanted to be.
I learned more about myself in my travels, as you shall.
I believed in myself once again, and the power I now hold within me is stronger then ever.
These first steps you took are the very hardest to do.
Your new chapter has begun and the next story is now yours alone to create.
In time all will be revealed.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Chero..............
There is peace in the time of trouble
There is peace in the midst of the storm...
There is peace tho' the world be raging..
In the shelter of His arms.
God go with you..dear.
Love,
Sherry
There is peace in the time of trouble
There is peace in the midst of the storm...
There is peace tho' the world be raging..
In the shelter of His arms.
God go with you..dear.
Love,
Sherry
full of hope
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
I know...no contact.
It's so awful. I don't know what I thought it would be like being away from him. When I was in that situation I thought how great it would be to be around something normal and less out of control.
Tonight I went out to dinner with friends and by the time we got 'home' all I could think about was him and how much I love him and miss him.
And I know I shouldn't be thinking with my heart right now but with my head instead, but it hurts so much.
My head knows this will be better but my heart hurts so much.
It's so awful. I don't know what I thought it would be like being away from him. When I was in that situation I thought how great it would be to be around something normal and less out of control.
Tonight I went out to dinner with friends and by the time we got 'home' all I could think about was him and how much I love him and miss him.
And I know I shouldn't be thinking with my heart right now but with my head instead, but it hurts so much.
My head knows this will be better but my heart hurts so much.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Southwest, USA
Posts: 10
Stay strong, I know from experience that it is easier said than done. But, nothing changes if nothing changes. That is an absolute truth.
It took 2 black eyes for me to finally realize that I could not predict his behavior and that I could not guarantee that he would not seriously injure or kill me in the midst of an alcoholic rage. I finally hit my bottom and realized that I was not willing to surrender my life just because leaving would hurt him. It was the hardest thing that I have ever done and I cried alot (even though it makes absolutely no sense). And then a miracle happened, things finally changed!!
Stay close to your Higher Power and those who love you and take it one day at a time--even one hour at a time if need be--and you will be surprised at how much stronger you will become as each day passes.
It took 2 black eyes for me to finally realize that I could not predict his behavior and that I could not guarantee that he would not seriously injure or kill me in the midst of an alcoholic rage. I finally hit my bottom and realized that I was not willing to surrender my life just because leaving would hurt him. It was the hardest thing that I have ever done and I cried alot (even though it makes absolutely no sense). And then a miracle happened, things finally changed!!
Stay close to your Higher Power and those who love you and take it one day at a time--even one hour at a time if need be--and you will be surprised at how much stronger you will become as each day passes.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by chero 
...And I know I shouldn't be thinking with my heart right now but with my head instead, but it hurts so much.
My head knows this will be better but my heart hurts so much.
My head knows this will be better but my heart hurts so much.
When my head spins the way you describe I pray. I keep saying the same prayer over and over again, but I don't pray for me. I pray for all those who are in pain, and especially for those who are too sick to pray for themselves. If I fill my head with prayer there is no room for crazy thoughts that just get me in trouble.
Keep posting here Chero, cuz you see how many of us are reading and praying for you.
Mike
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,351
Chero--he has your head so screwed up--thats all. I was married to a A who beat me--you still love them--you will look back one day and wonder who you ever stayed with him.
No human on this Earth deserves to be abused--think about it you miss and love someone who used your body for a punching bag???That is not love...
No human on this Earth deserves to be abused--think about it you miss and love someone who used your body for a punching bag???That is not love...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 782
I know it does hurt. There's just no easy way around it. But if you can just keep plodding along a little longer, thins will look up. I know it! Do you know how I know? Because I walked those steps once before too. Although I was not in a physically abusive relationship, save for a few physical power struggles, the act of leaving was incredibly difficult nonetheless.
When I first left, I was sharing here that I had stepped forward but that I didn't know where to put my foot next. Someone replied to me, "just put it in front of the other." It's the best advice I've ever gotten. (((())))
When I first left, I was sharing here that I had stepped forward but that I didn't know where to put my foot next. Someone replied to me, "just put it in front of the other." It's the best advice I've ever gotten. (((())))
full of hope
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
Tomorrow?? Nope. Today is wearing me out already. Every second my thoughts aren't busy I'm thinking about him. I've picked up the phone to call several times but I didn't.
I think I need my own place but I don't know if that is too soon??
I guess it would make me feel better to be on my own and not imposing on others.
?????????????????
I think I need my own place but I don't know if that is too soon??
I guess it would make me feel better to be on my own and not imposing on others.
?????????????????
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: FREEDOM
Posts: 665
I'm fortunate, I kept my home so I had a place to come. Buy had I not, my sister offered more than once. She's still offering. At this point, I may take her up on it. Sometimes having people around you is whats needed.
It's not WHERE I am, its the strangeness of it all. On one hand, you have a euphoric feeling of freedom and pride in finally having done it, on the other, an incredible sense of loss. I don't know, and maybe others can speak to it, but I think its the beginings of the detachment. I get what I can only describe as panic tremors. OMG, what am I doing?!?!?! I even almost eperience physical symptoms like hyperventalating. I've actually thought over these last few days, "is this what withdrawal feels like?" Interesting don't ya think?
What I do when I have one of these "tremors" is live in the moment. This may sound strange, but hey whatever works. I lost 80 pounds and the best advice I got as I was struggling to get the weight off was, "when you get a craving, wait ten minutes and see if you still have it". So, I would "busy" myself and find 9 out of ten times, not only did I wait the ten minutes, but I fogot all together what I was craving. I took it one craving at a time. I've put that into place to fit my need to enable.
I'm with ya sista,,,
Peace
It's not WHERE I am, its the strangeness of it all. On one hand, you have a euphoric feeling of freedom and pride in finally having done it, on the other, an incredible sense of loss. I don't know, and maybe others can speak to it, but I think its the beginings of the detachment. I get what I can only describe as panic tremors. OMG, what am I doing?!?!?! I even almost eperience physical symptoms like hyperventalating. I've actually thought over these last few days, "is this what withdrawal feels like?" Interesting don't ya think?
What I do when I have one of these "tremors" is live in the moment. This may sound strange, but hey whatever works. I lost 80 pounds and the best advice I got as I was struggling to get the weight off was, "when you get a craving, wait ten minutes and see if you still have it". So, I would "busy" myself and find 9 out of ten times, not only did I wait the ten minutes, but I fogot all together what I was craving. I took it one craving at a time. I've put that into place to fit my need to enable.
I'm with ya sista,,,
Peace
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