Ok I'll try to condense it....I'm desperate

Old 05-05-2007, 06:03 PM
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Ok I'll try to condense it....I'm desperate

How do I let go? I live with a medicated bi-polar. He abuses alcohol. He knows it. He has been going to counseling (2 different dr's). I reached my breaking point and told him to move out a few weeks ago. He has not drank since. Except for today. He is at his sister's house. She recently got out of rehab for opiates. She is concerned and knows of his problems too, but she is still really fresh out of her own problems. When he called to tell me he would be there for a while I could tell he was drunk and she was laughin in the background (I think she has switched to alcohol). I try so hard to trust him, but my childhood w/an alcoholic mother has made me hyper-sensitive. He now likes to turn it around and make it MY problem, (I have the baggage according to him) I need therapy (which I probably do). But that doesn't negate the fact that he has a problem.
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Old 05-05-2007, 06:09 PM
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OMG---I have a son who is bi-polar and an Alcoholic--in recovery now thank god!!!
First does he take medication for his bi-polar disease? Is he living with you now?
AND none of this is your fault--he has the problem--you may have some left over anxiety from your childhood-no doubt-but that is OK--it didn't cause HIS problem.Keep posting,,,,
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Old 05-05-2007, 06:14 PM
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Unhappy Yes he is medicated....

but the alcohol negate the medicine. He doesn't care about me or himself apparently.
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Old 05-05-2007, 06:20 PM
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well maybe you can send one of his doctors a note--letting them know he is drinking while on his medication--just don't sign your name.If he doesn't care about you I hope he is not still livng with you. What about you just have no contact with him for a while--no phone calls-no visits--turn on the answering machine--find a support group or a good therapists in your area.
Get rid of him and start taking care of yourself and living your own life?
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Old 05-05-2007, 06:30 PM
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Hi, he has a problem and you have a problem. One of those problems you can solve by going to Alanon, coming here as you already are doing and by placing your focus on yourself and off of what he is doing.
You asked "How do I let it go?"
That one is easy to describe but often hard for codependent people like me. I find that I have to be ever watchful of my motives and actions.
The only way I could learn how to let it go was from constant contact with others in the same situation who were letting go successfully. Reading about it is good too, and counseling is wonderful- I've done both but only by attending Alanon and coming here to SR did I really learn how to put it action.
Recovery from codependency is possible, we are here for you and I hope you will keep coming around to share and learn. You have alot of people here who can show the way to recovery.
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Old 05-05-2007, 06:51 PM
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Correction, I know he loves me. He is perfect EXCEPT this, and this is a big "except". I know he obviously doesn't care about himself and so he obviously can't really care about me or my concern for him. We do live together. He is sleeping at his sister's tonight. We just talked. I am anxious to see what tommorrow will bring...
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Old 05-05-2007, 06:53 PM
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Stay Strong and keep posting. That you are concerned about this situation is a good thing.You will figure out what is right for you.
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