I can't do it anymore!
full of hope
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
I can't do it anymore!
I can't do it anymore! I can't. I just can't.
I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't know why I can't leave. I don't know why I can't detach. I can't stop enabling. I can't stop anything. I can't take the lies. I hate everything. I hate it all.
I hate it! I can't take it anymore.
He is never going to quit. This will never end. It's never going to be over.
I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't know why I can't leave. I don't know why I can't detach. I can't stop enabling. I can't stop anything. I can't take the lies. I hate everything. I hate it all.
I hate it! I can't take it anymore.
He is never going to quit. This will never end. It's never going to be over.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: In Search of Finding ME!
Posts: 1,246
chero, you didn't end up where you are right now overnight - so it's not going to be fixed overnight.
One step at a time - with alot of dedication, hardwork, and even lots of pain thrown in as well. Lessons aren't always learned and problems aren't always fixed overnight chero.
And as for what you said about:
He is never going to quit. This will never end. It's never going to be over.
Well, you know that it's in your hands chero. He may never quit. But it can end and it can be over and you can find serenity. It's up to you to make that happen, when and if you are ready.
Sending you tons of hugs as I remember how painful and frustrating it is to be where you are.
One step at a time - with alot of dedication, hardwork, and even lots of pain thrown in as well. Lessons aren't always learned and problems aren't always fixed overnight chero.
And as for what you said about:
He is never going to quit. This will never end. It's never going to be over.
Well, you know that it's in your hands chero. He may never quit. But it can end and it can be over and you can find serenity. It's up to you to make that happen, when and if you are ready.
Sending you tons of hugs as I remember how painful and frustrating it is to be where you are.
Let Go Let God
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: jersey shore
Posts: 437
I felt that exact way chero then I realized .. I cant make someone stop treating me badly but I can remove myself from the fire and let the smoke clear .
You can only control you hun , when you are truly tired of it , you will make a move and leave the situation . dont give him so much control over you , he doesnt have to quit to make you happy , you can make you happy
You can only control you hun , when you are truly tired of it , you will make a move and leave the situation . dont give him so much control over you , he doesnt have to quit to make you happy , you can make you happy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
Any chance you could get away for a bit? Not move, not leave, not make any decisions, just a break from it. I had to be up early this am to go to the airport to drop someone off. I couldn't sleep last night. I've never had that kind of problem.
Lately, I sleep in two hour stints.
I've been going and going and going, seems like since Fall.
The winters when my husband doesnt' work last just about as long as I can stand it. I can't tell you how nice it is to have him back to work, I feel like I have some time to myself. He had been in the bars all day and then home to bed all winter. Any time we had together he was ranting at CNN or ranting of some bar jerk. Last week he had a tiff with his drinking buddy so he was either ranting or humped up in the bedroom in a funk.
Today when I got home from the airport, I was exhausted so I decided to lay down. That was at 10:30am. I don't remember falling asleep but I slept soundly until 3pm!
I think we underestimate how exhausting all of this is, how tired we are.
We can't think much less entertain the idea of starting over. We don't even know what we'd change if we could anymore.
I think if you could get in the car and take a break, it would help.
I am going to buy a hammock. I'm going somewhere nearby and setting up a campsite. I'm not telling anyone about it. Can you find a get away that no one has to know about but you?
Lately, I sleep in two hour stints.
I've been going and going and going, seems like since Fall.
The winters when my husband doesnt' work last just about as long as I can stand it. I can't tell you how nice it is to have him back to work, I feel like I have some time to myself. He had been in the bars all day and then home to bed all winter. Any time we had together he was ranting at CNN or ranting of some bar jerk. Last week he had a tiff with his drinking buddy so he was either ranting or humped up in the bedroom in a funk.
Today when I got home from the airport, I was exhausted so I decided to lay down. That was at 10:30am. I don't remember falling asleep but I slept soundly until 3pm!
I think we underestimate how exhausting all of this is, how tired we are.
We can't think much less entertain the idea of starting over. We don't even know what we'd change if we could anymore.
I think if you could get in the car and take a break, it would help.
I am going to buy a hammock. I'm going somewhere nearby and setting up a campsite. I'm not telling anyone about it. Can you find a get away that no one has to know about but you?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,351
Stay strong Chero!!! Be yourself--make up your own mind--not everyone can walk away. Not everyone can stop drinking.That doesn't make you a weak person at all.You have to make a choice either way you have to be able to deal with the end result as well. It may take time-as someone else just told you-it is not an overnight fix--for anyone!What exactly is it right now than is making you feel this way?(if you want to share)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
*hugs*
I know it feels that way sometimes, but you can and unfortunally will sweetie.
SS is right, it would not even matter if you had to make a choice one way or another right now... you would still be dealing with it.... it takes time .. sometime longer then it took to come to this place. Good thing is though that you dont have to make choices today.... you can come to a center, find your balance and senerity and detach., step away from this for awhile and then come back to it later.
I know it feels that way sometimes, but you can and unfortunally will sweetie.
SS is right, it would not even matter if you had to make a choice one way or another right now... you would still be dealing with it.... it takes time .. sometime longer then it took to come to this place. Good thing is though that you dont have to make choices today.... you can come to a center, find your balance and senerity and detach., step away from this for awhile and then come back to it later.
full of hope
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
I have to make a plan to get out of here. I have to get out. I can't have a life and be here.
I need a plan.
I keep looking around my house and I can't see clearly to know what I'd need to take with me or what happens when people so financially tied to one another end it.
I have to get out of here.
I need a plan.
I keep looking around my house and I can't see clearly to know what I'd need to take with me or what happens when people so financially tied to one another end it.
I have to get out of here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
Chero......Hugs to you hunny...
Breathe in breathe out.....cry and scream if you need to...we have all been there and alot or most of us are still there. It takes TIME and we all know it hurts..I wish there were words to comfort you but I know there aren't...
Stay the Course
Janit
Breathe in breathe out.....cry and scream if you need to...we have all been there and alot or most of us are still there. It takes TIME and we all know it hurts..I wish there were words to comfort you but I know there aren't...
Stay the Course
Janit
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,351
chero lawyer take care of all the financial parts of this for you.
You sound like you are having a panic attack--wait until you have calmed down and start planning---if you need to leave only for a day--is there a friend or someone or place you can stay just tto get your head straight??
You sound like you are having a panic attack--wait until you have calmed down and start planning---if you need to leave only for a day--is there a friend or someone or place you can stay just tto get your head straight??
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
I hate to say it but ...
BREATH!!!! and this too will pass.
Tell you what, why dont you pack a bag and go to a nice hotel, maybe one with a hot tub. Go out for a nice dinner and then hop into the hot tub... You will not do yourself anygood if you panic out and make hasty decisions.
BREATH!!!! and this too will pass.
Tell you what, why dont you pack a bag and go to a nice hotel, maybe one with a hot tub. Go out for a nice dinner and then hop into the hot tub... You will not do yourself anygood if you panic out and make hasty decisions.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
chero......there were times i had to take it a minute at a time, and i mean that.
even after we split, it was minutes at a time to just get through the day.
but you can do it. breathe. deep, slow breaths. try to go in the other room and just lay down and sleep. eat something, even if it's crackers and a cup of milk.
you do not have to make any decisions right now except to get through the next few minutes.
if he is being physically abusive, it is a different story.
talk to us chero
even after we split, it was minutes at a time to just get through the day.
but you can do it. breathe. deep, slow breaths. try to go in the other room and just lay down and sleep. eat something, even if it's crackers and a cup of milk.
you do not have to make any decisions right now except to get through the next few minutes.
if he is being physically abusive, it is a different story.
talk to us chero
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