moving out again.
 

In August of last year I left my AH of 7 years and filed for a divorce. We have 3 children 6, 4 and 2. The XAH gave me much grief up until a couple of months ago when I finally let go of all the drama and stopped MOST of the contact with him. He has chosen so far not to visit with the kids and does not talk to them very often.

When I decided to leave the XAH my parents offered to move us in with them and help us get back on our feet, so finally after 8 months at my parents house we moved into our new house, in my parents back yard. I have been so excited, but as soon as we started moving the excitement left and all I want to do is cry. I am so upset that I am upset. The last few months have been a roller coaster ride with my emotions and I just want to feel normal again. Most of the time I am happy, but there are times I become so terrified I don't know what to do with myself. It would just be nice to lay down at night and sleep again. I still have nightmares.

However - The kids are thrilled about the new house. They love having there own rooms and puppy, whose name was somehow changed from Max to Sam. (Not sure how that happen)

it's the next right thing, life. you and your children deserve peace and rewards. blessings, k

You should be so proud of yourself and your children. Believe me, I understand the roller coaster ride. Most days I am happy but sometimes I am scared out of my mind. I just say to myself,"One bridge at a time." I hope you find peace today.

((((Life)))

Congratulations on the new house! I fully expect to cry when I move to a new place. I do that whenever I move. For me, it's just a bit of sadness that comes with literally closing the door for the last time on what was. Moving forward can be scary - and can seem overwhelming. I hope as the weeks pass you'll settle in and all of you will be joyous in your new home.

I had a cat whose name changed after a month or so because the old one just didn't seem right.

Don't Know What to Do....
 

....when things are going well. That is my story right now as well. I am so used to being on "fight or flight" standby, that when things are actually going OK I tend to start worrying about things that I have no control over, or about other people's motives, finances, romances, etc. I am getting ready to move into my own place for the first time in my life (I am 34) after a divorce from a control freak, self-centered recovering alcoholic/drug addict. I am so excited - something that he doesn't like right now. But my life is getting better, and I am trying to remember not to ruin it by looking for conflict where there isn't any.

I try to think of it like a sunburn - OK, we spent too much time in the sun, and now it stings. But the sting passes, and we get better. A little sun (conflict) is part of life, but too much is bad for anybody. But sometimes we all get a little too much - now is maybe the time to just eat, sleep (if you can) breathe and treat yourself and your children (human and canine) well. Use your new home as a quiet retreat to rest, heal and grow. All will be well.

You'll get there - (((hugs))) :)

(((Hugs)))) for what you have done so far! Take little steps you will get there!

Life, I had been living in an old (1984) single wide that I purchased for 5,000 in 1999. I had it on a dear friends property (she has 21 acres) and paid a very nominal rent of $100.00 a month.

In December of this year I found a piece of property, 1/3 acre with a lovely double wide on it, all the fencing done, and RV paid, etc etc and it was a steal at the price I got it for.

Got the keys Jan. 2nd and started moving. It is only a block from the old place so my sis and I could take our time and we did.

However, for the whole month of Januray I was very weepy and would cry for no reason. I finally figured out that they were "Happy Tears". It is such a beautiful house, and I am not that far from my grand babies, just a block away, instead of across the street. They come to visit a lot, and the two oldest ones, 9 and 7, even ride their bikes over here sometimes. They are so proud that they are allowed to do that. They like playing in the back yard and playing with the dogs. Sometimes, Bell who is 9, hooks the wagon to the back of her bike and puts Victoria-3, and Benjamin-1 in it and brings them also.

Of course, my daughter always calls and says they are on their way so we watch for them. She watches them go up their road, and I watch them from my back porch when they ride the cross road, and then my front porch as they come up my street.

Moving is an emotional as well as physical process. Enjoy your crying time. You have come so far since last August, WOW

Your recovery is really shining through.

I am glad your kids love the new house and the new puppy!

You have come a long long way, please enjoy your new home!!

Love and hugs,

i know what you mean about being upset about being upset-- it's part of the acceptance- even if i'm doing better, a part of me thinks that maybe it'll work, maybe he'll want to be with me again, maybe he won't want the divorce-- so when i get upset again, i think it's another layer of acceptance-- he really isn't coming back, i really am alone. but i need to accept before i can change. it sounds like you are making really positive changes that you can and will enjoy. what kind of puppy? i bet its cute.

sometimes it seems like when we relax emotionally--like a tidal wave it hits you from behind--all you have been holding inside of you--a big thing like a new home would be a trigger for that.
as far as the fear and sleeping--everyone is different --it takes a while to feel safe again.
How good are your parents??? You are very lucky!!! try and enjoy something for a change---its all up hill from here!

These are major life changes and it's going to take awhile to adjust. Sometimes it just seems so overwhelming.

Great way of looking at it, 22Tango. Sunburns do sting, pretty bad, for a little while and then they heal.

I just recently moved into my mother's basement, in order to get away from an abusive A. I've cried many times and I also have difficulty sleeping, but I know that I did what I had to do. Life was so unpredictable and unstable with him. You may not realize it yet, but you did your kids a tremendous favor. It's no picnic for a child or anyone else to grow up in an alcoholic atmosphere. Unfortunately, my daughter is 21 now, and I realized it too late. She struggles with the effects every day.

Take care and be strong!
Grace