You know you're getting old when...
 

You throw out all the unhealthy candies in your candy dish in an attempt to take better care of yourself and eat healthier and replace them with a box of fat-free candies (Dots gum drops) but then you pull out one of your crowns while chewing the first FRICKIN' bite.

But that didn't stop me from fishin' out said crown from my mouth and then taking a second bite, and then a third bite....

The cherry ones are my personal fave. But that .50 cent box of candies and a few very brief moments of pleasure have cost me a trip to the dentist. Guess this is my HP's way of reminding me that I was fooling myself, there's no such thing as healthy candy, and that an apple would have been a much wiser choice.

Of course, the only way I normally eat apples is in apple pie....

Hot apple pie, topped with Ice Cream!

I've got one for you, FD...

You know you getting old when it takes twice as long to look half as good!

I hate that! ;)

Mr. C:

I consider hot apple pie and ice cream as "centerfold material." Allow me to explain, you see, food addicts such as myself have our own type of "porn." Give me a new cookbook (with lots of pictures) and a good cup of coffee and that's my entertainment for the evening.

I don't intend to cook any of the recipes in the book, only look at the delicious dishes shown in the photographs and just imagine how fabulous it would be to be able to eat all of them. So, with that description of my depravity in mind, a centerfold in my world would consist of the following:

A two-page spread that contains an extra-large, high-resolution photograph of a well-appointed and veloptious cheesecake wearing nothing but a bit of chocolate ganash.

Wow, how sick am I? Guess I need to fish out my copy of "When Food is Love" by Geneen Roth and start reading from chapter 1--again.

Speaking of looking good, Chero:

I decided to forego my typical Saturday house cleaning and grocery shopping ritual for a trip to the beauty salon, which was hard for a neat-freak like myself to do. But in keeping with my new-found commitment to take better care of myself, I decided that I need a makeover much more than I needed a clean house and made an appointment at my favorite salon.

I told my pal, Ginger, to give me "the works" and "make me so hot that men would swoon over me." THREE HOURS later, I walked out of the salon with a new sleek do (instead of my usual natural curls) and carmel colored highlights. I remember the day when it only took 30 minutes to emerge from the salon as a "hottie."

I thought I was "lookin' good" until I opened my front door and my dog started barking at me as if I were a stranger. I had to say, "Luna, Luna--it's OK, it's just me!"

You're a DOLL!
Yea, I've found myself eating those lil' carrots, of course w/ dip! Lots of dip!
But, me eating carrots. I've flipped!
Course, I did have candy kisses for Easter!

You mean the ones in the cute pink, purple, and blue wrappers? Ummmm, chocolate kisses (said in a Homer Simpson way)....

Do you buy (dot gum Drops) in Puppy Heaven??? (LOL LOL) Sorry Im joking. Im in Australia - what are they?? and for .50c Dont Believe!!
How can I get some??
I am a vegemite freak myself (LOL)

For a man, Yu know yoo're getting old when you take a drug test for employment and it comes back positive for Rogaine.

I had a moment leaving the grocery store...I'm still young enough(thankfully) to like the radio up loud, but (unfortunately) I'm old enough that when I start my car it scares the fool out of me!

You know you're getting old when you "chit" rust.

Too funny. Love the rust and rogaine responses! JustJo: You can probably purchase Dots gum drops atThey sell everything there and ship anywhere. By the way, my pups like them, too.

The moment I heard Ozzy intro to "crazy train" on an auto commercial.
"double vision" on a burger king add
"Smoke on water" (a bong) riffs..currently an auto commercial

You know you're getting old when...

You look back at pictures of yourself in happier days and wonder, when did it all change? And why?

You know you're getting old when your knees start sliding down and your asp cheeks slap the back of your thighs when you attempt to do jumping jacks!

With all the men vieing for paternity to be proven for Anna Nicole's baby, I heard this included Za Za Gabors husband. Apparently his DNA test was kiicked ouit because when it was sent to the lab, it was dust.

You know you're getting old when your sperm need walkers to get around.

You know your old when you 6 year old nephew sees a picture of you when you were 19 and he keeps looking at you than the picture and says''wow what happened?'''

You know you are getting older when you buy a pak of cigarettes and the girl at the checkout says = I dont need to see your ID

This actually happened to me the other day and Im 47 LOL

You know your getting old when the 20 year old that is in front you at Starbucks backs into you by accident and says "Sorry Mam" (and I'm only 38!)