Haven't heard from him since 3/6?

Old 04-20-2007, 07:36 PM
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Haven't heard from him since 3/6?

Hi, I am new to this forum. Everybody seems so knowledgable, so I was hoping some would impart some of their knowledge to me. I have an ex-boyfriend who has had many run-ins with the law secondary to EtOH use. He went to an EtOH detoc center and became drunk immediately upon release (there was supposed to be a 2-day delay between detox and start of rehab). Well, he got out of detox on 3/6 and called me drunk almost saying his father was taking him to rehab that day or the day after. Later that day I missed a call from him. However,that is the last time he has called!His family is now in China so I cannot call them to find his whereabouts, either! I know that the cell phones we shared, and which he paid the bill for, have both been disconnected and there is a balance of over $500. Thus, he is either locked up, dead, or in rehab.... Is it normal for someone to go to rehab and not call out for over a month? Although we are no longer together, I still care about him and his welfare. He used to call me daily so I find it bizarre he suddenly stopped calling, even more so because I have thousands of dollars of his furniture in my house! Thanks in advance
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Old 04-20-2007, 07:51 PM
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Welcome, pull up a chair, lots of great infro and support here.

As for the not calling, always expect the unexpected. If they are on a binge, it is not unusual for them to go off the radar, not answering or not calling, it goes with the territory.

Don't stress over this, serves no purpose.
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Old 04-20-2007, 08:05 PM
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WELCOME, CR!

I'm with Dolly, there is no rhyme or reason to an active A! You can't even guess what they'll do next!

You'll learn sooo much on here CR! Please keep coming back and reading and talking! Read the stickies at the top of the page! And ask all the questions you want!!

Welcome, Cheryl
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Old 04-20-2007, 08:21 PM
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i'm with the other two gals!

worrying about it really isn't going to do any good... it's not going to make him call or show up.

i think if he was dead or living on the streets somewhere, someone probably would have been in touch with you... do his parents know how to contact you if they needed to?

he probably doesn't have a good excuse... most likely still drinking and wanting to neglect all responsibilities, like cell phone bills...
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Old 04-20-2007, 08:22 PM
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Normal??what is normal LOL...could be so many reasons--maybe he just wants to focus on his recovery and nothing else right now---
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Old 04-20-2007, 08:25 PM
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that's true, sunflower. i guess i was too pessimistic in my last post!

absolutely anything is possible, at this point, nothing would surprise me!
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Old 04-21-2007, 08:52 AM
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I have actually been reading this forum for quite a while. Thank you for the replies, they are very helpful. I guess what I really want to know is *Are there rehab centers that don't allow people to call long distance* In other words, could he be in a rehab and not allowed to call out? I know he was talking about going to a 60-day rehab center...

I am not too worried about him, but that is not to say that I don't worry at all. I am a psychiatrist by profession and see what addictions do to people everyday. My ex is definitely has a strong case of borderline personality disorder; thus, it is extremely unusual he hasn't called.
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Old 04-21-2007, 08:59 AM
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Hello and glad you found us! Hope you stick around.

Perhaps his parents took him back to China with them....? Just a thought. (Perhaps they did not want to leave him here in the condition you described.)
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Old 04-21-2007, 09:44 AM
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good point Pick a name ..

I know when my ah was in rehab he wasnt allowed to use the phone for a certain period of time . not as long as it has been for you though . Maybe they have him concentrating so hard on recovery that he is just not ready for outside contact yet .

Keep posting and reading , this site has done wonders for me!
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Old 04-21-2007, 10:27 AM
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Hi,

From everything you have said here, maybe it’s good you have not heard from him.

Like the above had said, there is no reason when they vanish, except that real life and people are secondary, their true love is the substance they are abusing.

If in rehab that’s a whole different thing.

They tend to show up just after you find a little peace.
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