sthrnraizd

Remembering the Balance.....is key

OK, yall I am growing, I am moving through this mess!~ Yesterday wasnt a day of mistakes, it was a day of conclusions adn closures. I forgot about how the A loves to give off mixed signals, I should have known the trap. But I live life with my heart and he does not. My love was unconditional and unwavering. He told me his was not. (why didnt I run then?) I ahve been only holding onto the good memories. BIG mistake! I needed to revisit the things he did to cause this problem. I sent myself an email of all the things he did, and was like so I can remind myself how much better off i am without him. Even if he was totally handsome with a great smile. Beautiful shiney vessal on the outside but full of snakes and vinegar on the inside. ~ Part of me feels for the saddness that he is~ but I must remember that he has chosen to live where he is....and I can't change this.

sthrnraizd

I am learning as I grow that I must remember that I am an emotional person. I live with my emotions, my heart. Being of this tempermant can have its down falls. We, I can get hurt really easy. And mostly by my own doing. I can get caughtup in wanting only the good, not recognizing the bad and know it's time to cut and run. I will believe relationships aren't dead till their dead, and if it even as much as twitches then I'll get a stick and poke at it again till I know it's really truly dead.

And though I am doing a good job on balancing my life, or atleast trying. Looking at things from all perspectives to get the best picture. I loose this when my heart is envolved. And it takes me a few tries to back out enough to remember to get a balanced perspective.

So I must always remember the bad as well as the good. Usually it's the bad that gets me where I'm at when I hurt. And choosing to remember only the good can just set me up for future hurt.

Writing out the bad, actually seeing it does bring some true perspective on things. And if the good still out weighs the bad then I'll keep trying. But learning to recognize that the bad out numbers the good and it's time to go wil be my challange.

I guess living in a fallen world, we all have things to deal with, but recognizing that some of us have "a lot" more to deal with is the key. Some things are better let to just admire from a distance. Like a flower on a cactus.....go ahead and put your nose up in that :-)

minnie

Hi there, hon.

Balance is something that I strive for every day. And recognising when the pendulum has swung one way or the other has been a real gift of my recovery.

For me, it is not a question of judging whether something is good or bad. It's about learning to see what is real or unreal. So much of being involved with someone who has problems with drink revolves around untruth and unreality. I can't make any sensible decisions unless I learn what is true and real.

However, I certainly agree that taking off the rose tinted glasses can be such a blessing as regards healing and growth.

Sunflower

one day a long long time from now you will maybe be able to just remember the good times and it won't affect you...
me?27 years later I still wake up at night shaking-sweating--feeling like I am going to explode from the bad stuff--I can't remember anything good about my EXAH

MsGolightly

boy, can i relate to that! nicely put!

you sound like you're doing so much better than you were a few days ago, and that's great! just remember there are good days and bad days and not to beat yourself up over it. every day comes and goes and you can always start over tomorrow