A ray of hope...
full of hope
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
A ray of hope...
Well, as I have already shared in other threads this week has been a nightmare! But something good did happen and I owe it to all of you!
I think I'm gaining strength and courage from everyone here. Before when all this would have happened I would have crumbled and begged and pleaded and terrible things but last night, I stood up for myself.
And I didn't even realize it until this morning when my AH was yelling at me about what pants he was going to wear to court today and why am I always pulling against him, etc....
I just turned around and I said, "You don't get to talk to me that way!" and I picked up my keys and I left the house.
And every time I think about it I'm amazed at myself. The only logical reason is that being here and listening to all of you and talking to people I've met on here...well, it's rubbing off on me! I feel stronger and better and if it took this awful week to show me that...so be it! I'm not going to deny myself the truth or wellness anymore.
How's that for a boundary!
I think I'm gaining strength and courage from everyone here. Before when all this would have happened I would have crumbled and begged and pleaded and terrible things but last night, I stood up for myself.
And I didn't even realize it until this morning when my AH was yelling at me about what pants he was going to wear to court today and why am I always pulling against him, etc....
I just turned around and I said, "You don't get to talk to me that way!" and I picked up my keys and I left the house.
And every time I think about it I'm amazed at myself. The only logical reason is that being here and listening to all of you and talking to people I've met on here...well, it's rubbing off on me! I feel stronger and better and if it took this awful week to show me that...so be it! I'm not going to deny myself the truth or wellness anymore.
How's that for a boundary!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
chero.....good for you....it took me a lot longer to learn that.
i used to demand my x not talk to me tht way, and really expected for him to "mind me".....never thought of actually walking out the door when he did.
i used to demand my x not talk to me tht way, and really expected for him to "mind me".....never thought of actually walking out the door when he did.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Congrads to you for taking care of yourself!!!!!
One thought I would like to share is to watch for reactions. There is a dance between and Alcoholic and a Codie.... usually there is a reaction when one of them changes that dance....Active Alcoholics dont like it when you stop enabling or stand up for yourself.
One thought I would like to share is to watch for reactions. There is a dance between and Alcoholic and a Codie.... usually there is a reaction when one of them changes that dance....Active Alcoholics dont like it when you stop enabling or stand up for yourself.
Acting not reacting
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: My happy place
Posts: 1,788
You don't get to talk to me that way!" and I picked up my keys and I left the house.
I had a boundry that if he verbally attacked me, I would leave the house.
We teach people how to treat us by what he tolerate..you rock!!!!!!!!!
Royalty
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 366
My brother always said "did you learn anything dammit?" after any problem or bump or bruise.....and I think you learned plenty. Stay strong...
The chocolate easter bunnies are gone....what's the next holiday?
Just for the record: I DIDNT eat them all! My son (age 4) is the other chocoholic in our family. And since he only weighs 40 lbs, it is my testomoney that chocolate does NOT make you gain weight
I swear he eats more of it than me!
The chocolate easter bunnies are gone....what's the next holiday?
Just for the record: I DIDNT eat them all! My son (age 4) is the other chocoholic in our family. And since he only weighs 40 lbs, it is my testomoney that chocolate does NOT make you gain weight
I swear he eats more of it than me!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Chero, you are just awesome. Congrats on the "new you". 
and yes, like Cynay said, keep an eye out for whatever craziness he's going to do to try and get you back to being the way you were. You never will be that again, but he just might try do make you.
Mike
and yes, like Cynay said, keep an eye out for whatever craziness he's going to do to try and get you back to being the way you were. You never will be that again, but he just might try do make you.
Mike
up and out
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 185
Oh yeah Chero the 'old you' will creep in sometimes, well rather the 'old behaviour' and i've heard it called stinkin thinkin. anyway....really you're still the same person but now you've got this great toolbox full of stuff to help you make better decisions.
He may be in the mode of setting you straight but your toolbox is full girlie and it looks to me like he ain't the boss of you....you're doing a great job being your own boss.
He may be in the mode of setting you straight but your toolbox is full girlie and it looks to me like he ain't the boss of you....you're doing a great job being your own boss.
Let Go Let God
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: jersey shore
Posts: 437
good for you chero! I cannot get over the change in you in this past.. what .. week and a 1/2 ?? You are so on the right track and I can tell how you are really connecting with yourself now , and guess what ?? I think you are liking you more & more !
Dont worry about set backs , its no biggie as long as you LEARN from them ! and then pick up right where you left off !
Sending big ((HUGS)) your way !
M
Dont worry about set backs , its no biggie as long as you LEARN from them ! and then pick up right where you left off !
Sending big ((HUGS)) your way !
M
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