Originally Posted by Magichappens

Living with alcoholism affects everyone involved. The alcoholic suffers from a malady that for some reason causes them to drink, regardless of the consequences. The family, with the best of intentions, focusses on fixing the problem in the family. As the problem gets worse, instead of better, each person becomes more desperate to fix it. The alcoholic, driven to continue drinking, fights outside influence to stop. This is the viscious cycle of the family disease of alcoholism.

This viscious cycle seems to warp the thinking of all involved. We become obsessed with another persons actions and thoughts. In the process, we lose ourself. We stop living life, and begin trying to control life. This is where my sickness is centered.

My recovery began when I surrendered to the idea that I could not control alcoholism. I can't cure it. I didn't cause it. I realized that I had crossed the line of love, into obsession. I became lost, fearful, and purposeless. One day, I realized I couldn't go on living like that. I surrendered.

Surrender is such an ugly thought. At the time, I didn't know the paradox of surrender to win. The first step in Al-Anon, "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable" was the first step in finding healing, wholeness and peace. What seemed like defeat was the death of my old life, and the beginning of a new one.

The steps are a simple guideline for inner healing and wholeness. They relieved me of the thought process which took me to the depth of misery. It is a lifelong, wonderful journey that began with a small amount of willingness. The willingness to take the focus off the alcoholic, and put it on myself. I have found that it works in every situation, every problem, and every crisis in my life.

I don't have all the answers. But I have found a process that helps me to find each answer as I need it. There is no way to describe the metamorphisis that the steps have in one's life. It would be like trying to describe color to a person born blind. I just know that it has worked for me. I'm nobody special. I was just a someone suffering from the family disease.

If you are at the end of your rope, and are willing to try something to help you feel whole, sane, and useful, what have you got to lose by trying this route? Hugs, Magic