queenteree

After being on a bender for over a month, my AH (a really sweet guy, honestly) decides on Friday he has to "stop for a while". I hardly ever drink and I decided on Saturday, after watching my grandkids and they went home, I was going to make a fire in my backyard and relax and have a beer or two. Well, AH comes out and sits with me, beer in hand, and says "your sabatoging my recovery." I said "I'm sabatoging your recovery?" He said "yeah, I don't really even want this beer, but I can't let you sit by a fire and drink alone." So much for insanity!!

WantsOut

I'm kind of surprised you'd have a taste for alcohol at all. After enduring all that alcoholic crap even the smell of alcohol makes me want to yak.

MsGolightly

i'm with ya, wants out.

but queen, i find it very humorous that he didn't want you to drink alone!

queenteree

I do like a beer once in a while, I don't drink wine, liquor, or take any kind of medication at all (I never even had an advil in my life). They say it's healthy to have one or two once in a while and after the stressful few weeks I've had (working full time and watching my grands while my daughter works extra shifts) I just wanted to sit by the fire, listen to some music, read the book "The Secret" and chill. I don't have anything against anyone drinking, I just can't stand drunks, especially the ones who are drunk on a daily basis.

elizabeth1979

You are sabotaging his recovery!
Oh thats rich.
Spare me. I have heard that too QT.
The only recovery that I have the power to sabotage is my own.

I drink responsibly and that was not the reason my ex couldnt get sober, in my opinon..if it was, he had an obligation to make his sobriety come first.

bv1979

I agree. My AGF understands that I'm a "normie" and that it's okay for me to have a drink here and there. She tells me all the time that I can drink around her, but I choose not to both out of respect, but also because I don't need to drink to have fun - especially around her.

Sometimes when we're not together, or when I get off of my night job late (bouncer at a night club), I'll have one beer, or my favorite mixed drink, but that's about it...maybe 2-3 times a month max. I just make sure I brush my teeth/rinse with Listerine before I try and kiss her

So while I do make a concious effort to not have it be around her, that doesn't mean that I'm not a grown up and can't make my own decisions and have a beer when I want one - and the same goes for you. If you were parading around the house rubbing in the fact that you're drinking, then that's a different story - but you did nothing wrong here, in my opinion. For him to use that as an excuse for having a beer and saying "I don't even really want this," I would have said "Well there's plenty of Diet Pepsi" in the fridge if you were thirsty.

socalgal

Sweet of your husband not to want you to drink alone! That's rich. Boy, if I decided everyone in the world who had a drink was sabotaging my recovery...well...My husband drinks, very rarely, maybe wine at holiday meals or a drink at a business dinner. This is his right, and it isn't a problem for him, he's not an alcoholic. The funny thing is, when he does, even if it is just a little, I can smell it on him a mile away. Not sure what that is all about. Luckily, the smell makes me nauseous.

Yuck. Just thinking about how I must have once smelled.

.... think I smell pretty good these days. LOL

-K

lilac

I too like a drink every now and again...nothing wrong with that. Somehow, I always feel two faced though, because of all the nagging I gave AH.

Sunflower

I HATE ALCOHOL---I will not even drink a toast at a wedding--I have seen in my nursing career to much damage from it and then myself lived with As.
BUT many As tell me its ok for others to drink arounf them--they say they can even serve it--just cant drink it,,,can't holdthat against someone who is not an A and enjoys it...

hopeangel

personally, i will not drink in front of ah. i just don't feel comfortable asking him not to do something that i won't do. i guess for me it is a support and respect thing. i will, however, have a drink or two when he is not home or i am out with friends. i think it is a personal decision.