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Last week's date was a fluke

Old 04-07-2007, 10:34 PM
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Last week's date was a fluke

Well, it's been confirmed again for me that I made the right choice to leave.
Last week some of you may have read about me going out to lunch with my ex. We had a nice time and I protected myself from asking too many questions, etc. Just enjoyed the time together.

In the back of my mind, I was hopeful that maybe he was helping himself and wanting things to be different. NOPE, he was just selfish, wanted to see me and was hungry. Had nothing to do with me really. I realize this again after me calling to see if he wanted to get lunch again. It was early morning and he was at a work golf tournament. He declined, but said talk to you later.
He called later, I said hi, what are you doing? He replied drunk, said he was drinking a few beers, I could hear background noise and then he said I'll call you tomorrow. I said ok, bye. Tomorrow I'll be at my family's for Easter.

Is all hope lost? Maybe it needs to be. One step forward, 2 back again.
This too shall pass.
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Old 04-08-2007, 01:16 AM
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I'm sorry.
I tried the dating thing with my A too. It went well for a few months. Til he started drinking again. It is up to you. Hope is never lost. We can always hope that they will find thier way. Try not to let it get you down. I truly know what a disappointment it is. Alcohoilsm sucks.
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Old 04-08-2007, 05:09 PM
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so sorry for your pain---they get your hopes up and poof--cut them right out of your heart...all they care about is the drink---start taking care of yourself please!
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Old 04-08-2007, 06:29 PM
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I'm still taking care of myself. I'm so glad I moved into this quiet, little apartment. After spending time with my family today, I came back home to the pool and then ventured into the fitness center room. Rode the stationary bike for half an hour and reflected. My life can only be lived by me and I'm the only one who knows the true me. I am the only one who can stop putting myself through the pain. I chose to move forward with each step. To exercise a little today, was another baby step. It felt good!! I didn't need anyone's permission and I survived the fear of being alone.
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Old 04-08-2007, 07:00 PM
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I think we all hold out hope that they're coming to their senses. I did this countless times. Finally, I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was wasting my time on someone who was, for all intensive purposes, using me. He uses booze to numb himself. He uses people to get what he wants when he wants it. I don't think my AH was much deeper than that.

Although I kept hoping there was more there ....

You treated yourself well and got on with your day. I'm sorry you had to go through the disappointment, but it sounds like you are seeing him for what he is and not taking it personally.
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Old 04-08-2007, 07:36 PM
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Another lesson learned from experiences... I always made it too easy for him and didn't think about how it would affect me later. Now I know.

I also know that my future holds something far greater than my past. It's been a year, and he's still in the same place. That's the reality I need to keep in mind.
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Old 04-08-2007, 08:16 PM
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azzie.....i was gonna say how sorry i was for your dissappointment, but on second thought, i think i need to congratulate you on gaining more knowlege.

these life lessons about the alcoholic behaviors hurt, but there is no other way to learn the lessons without having to walk through that damned fire.

after we work through the hurt, we are left like a beautifully polished gem.

you, my dear, are a gem.

i have found that these tests don't go away, they just become easier to understand and process.
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Old 04-08-2007, 10:00 PM
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YES! you have a bright future ahead of you--dont be afraid--its ok to be alone especially after what he put you through...isn't it nice? no more BS---everyday it will get easier and easier,,,,,,,you go girl!!!
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