What did you learn?
full of hope
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
What did you learn?
I was wondering what all you who've been through this horrible life with alcohol/alcoholics learned on your journey that you wouldn't trade for anything?
What's that one lesson that makes you glad you endured??
What's that one lesson that makes you glad you endured??
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Here's the short list off the top of my head!
Yes, that life is precious and time wasted is time lost. I learned that I can be strong and that I am 'allowed' to be weak as well. I can just be me and that's enough.
Yes, that life is precious and time wasted is time lost. I learned that I can be strong and that I am 'allowed' to be weak as well. I can just be me and that's enough.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
I learned I deserved more than being thrown a scrap of "love" much like someone would throw a dog a bone to pacify it.
I learned that God would get me through it, and even if I had to endure the pain, I would survive.
I learned that I cannot find hapiness, contentment, or peace of mind through someone else.
I learned that I had to start loving myself first.
And the most valuable thing I learned ... I could still find humor in this mess and I could still laugh.
I learned that God would get me through it, and even if I had to endure the pain, I would survive.
I learned that I cannot find hapiness, contentment, or peace of mind through someone else.
I learned that I had to start loving myself first.
And the most valuable thing I learned ... I could still find humor in this mess and I could still laugh.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
I'm WELL today...i had to go through whatever the hell i had to go
through, If i didn't go through what I didn't go through, I probably
wouldn't be well or alive today. So how can i trade or take
any of it back. My ESH
If i was well, i wouldn't have gone through what i went through.
What made me sicker than sick was trying to figure all of it out.
So....what would a crazy mad man do for an ounce of peace.
Would I trade this peace to be the king of the world...a crazy king.lol
through, If i didn't go through what I didn't go through, I probably
wouldn't be well or alive today. So how can i trade or take
any of it back. My ESH
If i was well, i wouldn't have gone through what i went through.
What made me sicker than sick was trying to figure all of it out.
So....what would a crazy mad man do for an ounce of peace.
Would I trade this peace to be the king of the world...a crazy king.lol
Last edited by SaTiT; 04-04-2007 at 09:58 PM.
A work in progress....
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains
Posts: 1,018
As difficult as my life has been with my (soon to be)EXAH, I have learned:
not to judge others until I have walked in their shoes.
to have compassion on those people without judging them.
that being a Christian is about loving others where they are and not where I might think they should be.
that being a Christian woman does NOT mean that I have 'doormat' tattoed on my forehead and I have to simply accept abuse as my lot in life because I married someone who became an addict.
that there are some who call themselves Christians that will think divorcing an addict is the wrong thing to do, but they don't have the authority to make that call.
that my children are the most precious gifts that God could have ever given me, and they are mine to protect.
that by the grace of God, I am stronger than I ever dreamed I could be, and I will get through this.
that I can forgive EXAH, and myself, for all the years of pain.
that this forgiveness does not equal reconciliation or trust, or expectations that things will be any different.
and finally, that God will take care of my EXAH, but I have to get out of the way.
not to judge others until I have walked in their shoes.
to have compassion on those people without judging them.
that being a Christian is about loving others where they are and not where I might think they should be.
that being a Christian woman does NOT mean that I have 'doormat' tattoed on my forehead and I have to simply accept abuse as my lot in life because I married someone who became an addict.
that there are some who call themselves Christians that will think divorcing an addict is the wrong thing to do, but they don't have the authority to make that call.
that my children are the most precious gifts that God could have ever given me, and they are mine to protect.
that by the grace of God, I am stronger than I ever dreamed I could be, and I will get through this.
that I can forgive EXAH, and myself, for all the years of pain.
that this forgiveness does not equal reconciliation or trust, or expectations that things will be any different.
and finally, that God will take care of my EXAH, but I have to get out of the way.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
I learned that if I sit down, shut up and listen I _will_ be granted the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's _me_.
Mike
Mike
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 409
I have learned that alcoholism is no joke.
I have learned that it is hell trying to live with an active alcoholic.
I have learned that I never, ever, after i manage to untangle myself from my current ABF, will get involved with another alcoholic. I will run the other way quicker than greased lightening!
I have learned that it is hell trying to live with an active alcoholic.
I have learned that I never, ever, after i manage to untangle myself from my current ABF, will get involved with another alcoholic. I will run the other way quicker than greased lightening!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 1,358
I feel like this is a mid-term review or something, LOL! Hopefully, the 'finals' won't be for a very long time!!
What have I learned? Choices and Consequences
Choices....I didn't realize I had choices....it still seems odd today to admit that. But it's true.....I didn't know that I didn't have choose to 'settle', I didn't know they I don't have to chose what other people 'tell me' I could or should choose. But the best of all is...I have learned that I can choose NOT to choose if the timing isn't right, or the answer isn't clear!!
Consequences....a direct outcome of the above. For every action I take, there is a consequence....might be good....might not. So, I'm learning to choose wisely so my consequences will be good ones...I think that's called 'reward'!!!
Great thread!!
What have I learned? Choices and Consequences
Choices....I didn't realize I had choices....it still seems odd today to admit that. But it's true.....I didn't know that I didn't have choose to 'settle', I didn't know they I don't have to chose what other people 'tell me' I could or should choose. But the best of all is...I have learned that I can choose NOT to choose if the timing isn't right, or the answer isn't clear!!
Consequences....a direct outcome of the above. For every action I take, there is a consequence....might be good....might not. So, I'm learning to choose wisely so my consequences will be good ones...I think that's called 'reward'!!!
Great thread!!
full of hope
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
Oh you guys, I love reading what you learned. I've been trying to think of what I've learned but it's been hard to look at this mess and see something.
So, here's what I've learned....
1) Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors so don't judge people. Remember that hurting people hurt people...so give them some time/space as well as your love and respect.
2) I am not responsible for anyone's actions but my own. The Three C's were a big eye opener for me!
OMG! Is this all I've learned?? Well, I think I'm in the middle of a few lessons right now--such as:
1) I didn't know(until I met you guys) that I deserved better! That I'm worthy of being loved and respected and treated like a human being. WHO KNEW?
2) I'm learning that I have options.
So, here's what I've learned....
1) Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors so don't judge people. Remember that hurting people hurt people...so give them some time/space as well as your love and respect.
2) I am not responsible for anyone's actions but my own. The Three C's were a big eye opener for me!
OMG! Is this all I've learned?? Well, I think I'm in the middle of a few lessons right now--such as:
1) I didn't know(until I met you guys) that I deserved better! That I'm worthy of being loved and respected and treated like a human being. WHO KNEW?
2) I'm learning that I have options.
Unconditional love
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Mi
Posts: 84
The lesson I learned and why I endured it:
I learned how to love a man with all my heart and how to be loved.
I learned how wonderful life was when I gave birth to 2 beautiful girls.
I learned how I could have wonderful times even with an AH, and wonderful times being a family.
Then I learned that after years of drinking a person changes. Our 27 years of marriage was starting to break. He changed, I changed. Things happen but I wouldnt give up the 27 years I had. So many great things happened in my life.
So I learned that even though my marriage ended I wouldnt have missed it for the world. It was a great ride even though rough in the end but the beginning and middle was a great ride.
Now I will write a new chapter for end of my ride.
I learned how to love a man with all my heart and how to be loved.
I learned how wonderful life was when I gave birth to 2 beautiful girls.
I learned how I could have wonderful times even with an AH, and wonderful times being a family.
Then I learned that after years of drinking a person changes. Our 27 years of marriage was starting to break. He changed, I changed. Things happen but I wouldnt give up the 27 years I had. So many great things happened in my life.
So I learned that even though my marriage ended I wouldnt have missed it for the world. It was a great ride even though rough in the end but the beginning and middle was a great ride.
Now I will write a new chapter for end of my ride.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
This is awesome - I, too, have learned some of the same things others have.
1. I ALWAYS have choices and options, I sometimes lack the POWER to make those choices, but that's ok - I'm a work in progress & someday I will have the POWER.
2. No Matter What Me & My God, will be OK, even Better than OK.
3. The 12 Steps of Al-Anon are Simple, but not Easy. I definitely have to have my "Big Girl Panties" on (for you guys - that would be UnderRoos) to work these Steps, but it is worth it - I AM WORTH IT.
Peace to all,
Rita
1. I ALWAYS have choices and options, I sometimes lack the POWER to make those choices, but that's ok - I'm a work in progress & someday I will have the POWER.
2. No Matter What Me & My God, will be OK, even Better than OK.
3. The 12 Steps of Al-Anon are Simple, but not Easy. I definitely have to have my "Big Girl Panties" on (for you guys - that would be UnderRoos) to work these Steps, but it is worth it - I AM WORTH IT.
Peace to all,
Rita
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