I hurt
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Southern New Hampshire
Posts: 746
This too shall pass
You will feel better, God has not forgotten you, the emptiness you feel inside will be replaced with serenity and peace.Here is a formula that I was given to stop the constant pain in my life: Trust God-Clean House-Help Others.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
God hasn't forgotten you.
Embrace it, embrace your pain with all your might.
Cry your tears and let go..let go of everything
Something..mighty is about to happen
Grace is upon you
For the heavens and earth will open up to you
For you are a child of god and you will remember your truth.
Embrace it, embrace your pain with all your might.
Cry your tears and let go..let go of everything
Something..mighty is about to happen
Grace is upon you
For the heavens and earth will open up to you
For you are a child of god and you will remember your truth.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,020
Originally Posted by BigGirlPanties 
That God hasnt forgotten me?
One night a man had a dream.
He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand:
one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him
he looked back, at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life
there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times of his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it:
"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied:
"My son, My precious child, I love you and I would never leave you,
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
Author unknown
BGP, God NEVER forgets us. It's something I'm coming to have more faith in every day. (((((hugs)))))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Blacksburg, VA
Posts: 191
thank you one and all. you guys dont even know me in real life, but you know me "real" and your words mean so much. Im in tears about to crumble from the immense loss and grief. This disease has taken away so many people Ive cared about...I hope this is as low as I get...I cant imagine it any lower.
keep the words coming, im hanging on to them all.
keep the words coming, im hanging on to them all.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
(((((BGP)))))
god has not forgotten you. could you ever forget your own child? of course not.
i'm so sorry that you are hurting, sweety. it's just awful to feel that way. but we all get through it. this too shall pass.
you are brillant, lovely, kind, compassionate, loving, caring amongst many other things.....let all those good things wrap around you and carry you through this rough patch.
much love to you
jeri
god has not forgotten you. could you ever forget your own child? of course not.
i'm so sorry that you are hurting, sweety. it's just awful to feel that way. but we all get through it. this too shall pass.
you are brillant, lovely, kind, compassionate, loving, caring amongst many other things.....let all those good things wrap around you and carry you through this rough patch.
much love to you
jeri
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Hey BGP.... guess what, dont ask if it can get lower cuz yep it can.
But I dont think that is what is happening her hon. It has been pointed out to me recently that there is no growth without growing pains. The deeper the pain but more the growth.
God must be getting you ready for something important to him. He must think you are strong enough now to do it too, cuz he does not give us more then we can handle. Alot like the Diamond.... look what has to happen before you see that amazing beauty. I hate the pain of growing..... but love what I see in you from it.... your a Diamond for sure.
But I dont think that is what is happening her hon. It has been pointed out to me recently that there is no growth without growing pains. The deeper the pain but more the growth.
God must be getting you ready for something important to him. He must think you are strong enough now to do it too, cuz he does not give us more then we can handle. Alot like the Diamond.... look what has to happen before you see that amazing beauty. I hate the pain of growing..... but love what I see in you from it.... your a Diamond for sure.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
In my second month of recovery (I sobered up and broke up with alcoholic/addict same weekend last December), I had moments of absolutely excruciating pain that I wasn't sure I was gonna pull through. In that darkness, I kept repeating two phrases..."It's always darkest before the dawn" and "Please help me God". These mantras as well as a call to my sponsor got me through. Within 48 hours, answers and revelations drifted in steadily. Ask for help and then open your heart, ears and eyes to receive.
As hard as it is to believe, there is a gift in despair. It is an unanswered question and a pathway to growth. Listen for answers. Do not heed the booming and abusive lies of fear within you...but the quiet,persistent urging of your intuition.
I had a very painful day yesterday...and I realized that lately I have become incredibly "I" centred. For the next week, I have committed to listening to others in life and at AA meetings, instead of speaking my pain; doing for others instead of whining for myself; connecting and smiling with everyone I meet; simply trying to make a difference for others everyday; ceasing my self abusive and pitying thoughts when the pop in my head (frequently). I'm so very tired of feeling sorry for myself.
As hard as it is to believe, there is a gift in despair. It is an unanswered question and a pathway to growth. Listen for answers. Do not heed the booming and abusive lies of fear within you...but the quiet,persistent urging of your intuition.
I had a very painful day yesterday...and I realized that lately I have become incredibly "I" centred. For the next week, I have committed to listening to others in life and at AA meetings, instead of speaking my pain; doing for others instead of whining for myself; connecting and smiling with everyone I meet; simply trying to make a difference for others everyday; ceasing my self abusive and pitying thoughts when the pop in my head (frequently). I'm so very tired of feeling sorry for myself.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: So. CA
Posts: 9
Soaking up the replies
Just reading all the support given to BGP has helped me today. I'm so impressed with this site - just joined on the weekend. There really is strength in numbers.
Sometimes we have to let others hold us up until we can stand on our own. Thanks for all the support that is here.
BGP - sometimes I remember what a speaker at an alanon convention once said: Sometimes it gets better and sometimes it gets worse but you can be sure it will at least get different!
I find some comfort in know that if I hang in there thru the current crisis or chaos I won't be facing the same thing again. Eventually it always does get better!
Wishing you courage and strength - one hour at a time.
Sometimes we have to let others hold us up until we can stand on our own. Thanks for all the support that is here.
BGP - sometimes I remember what a speaker at an alanon convention once said: Sometimes it gets better and sometimes it gets worse but you can be sure it will at least get different!
I find some comfort in know that if I hang in there thru the current crisis or chaos I won't be facing the same thing again. Eventually it always does get better!
Wishing you courage and strength - one hour at a time.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((BGP))
No matter what You & Your God will be ok - Even better than OK.
((((Hugs))))
Cry if you need to, scream in the pillow if you need to, go ahead beat the heck out of the pillow if you need to - but don't beat yourself up.
Be gentle with YOU.
Wishing you Peace
Rita
No matter what You & Your God will be ok - Even better than OK.
((((Hugs))))
Cry if you need to, scream in the pillow if you need to, go ahead beat the heck out of the pillow if you need to - but don't beat yourself up.
Be gentle with YOU.
Wishing you Peace
Rita
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Blacksburg, VA
Posts: 191
I started to hit the "thank you" replies to everyones posts, but I realiezed Id have to to it to them all, cus your words are like oxygen to me, so I THANK YOU ALL!
I hope I am becoming the diamond who has to get hit with a hard drill to become something beautiful, but most importantly, strong and enduring. I am starting to see how ugly, and I mean vile and UGLY this situation with my ex stealing from our boy's college fund, the prostitute, his desperate behaviors..it is gross...so disgusting, and I feel like I have voluntarily walked into the puke. I have just decided, for today, that I will:
not take his calls, even the ones where he says hes sorry, wants help, loves us blah blah blah..NO CALLS. No voicemails, no emails, nada!
Ive removed all email software from my pc that allows me to see his email. No more looking into his life. DONE!
No communication with his family, friends, work. NOONE!
I will speak with his treatment center only, IF he chooses to sign the release of information form, and ONLY for the purpose of thier being an intermediary to negotiate the repayment plan. I dont wanna know how he is progressing, if he has found his inner child or if he is on a pink cloud. If they do not wish to do so, and if he cannot find a sponsor or other sober member of AA to do so, I will do it thru the court. Though I dont have the money, I think I can find a way to do it myself, or at least with partial help with the attorney.
I dont wanna be puked on, and so I wont volunteer for it.
Holy smokes...I think I *might* be feeling better.
I hope I am becoming the diamond who has to get hit with a hard drill to become something beautiful, but most importantly, strong and enduring. I am starting to see how ugly, and I mean vile and UGLY this situation with my ex stealing from our boy's college fund, the prostitute, his desperate behaviors..it is gross...so disgusting, and I feel like I have voluntarily walked into the puke. I have just decided, for today, that I will:
not take his calls, even the ones where he says hes sorry, wants help, loves us blah blah blah..NO CALLS. No voicemails, no emails, nada!
Ive removed all email software from my pc that allows me to see his email. No more looking into his life. DONE!
No communication with his family, friends, work. NOONE!
I will speak with his treatment center only, IF he chooses to sign the release of information form, and ONLY for the purpose of thier being an intermediary to negotiate the repayment plan. I dont wanna know how he is progressing, if he has found his inner child or if he is on a pink cloud. If they do not wish to do so, and if he cannot find a sponsor or other sober member of AA to do so, I will do it thru the court. Though I dont have the money, I think I can find a way to do it myself, or at least with partial help with the attorney.
I dont wanna be puked on, and so I wont volunteer for it.
Holy smokes...I think I *might* be feeling better.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Central Coast, CA
Posts: 77
Hey BGP,
I'm glad you're getting through this. You will get through this, and the next thing too. This too shall pass. Thanks for your posts.
It is an ugly disease, true, but you are beautiful. You are way more than all the disease stuff and as much as it can try to drag you down too, you transcend all of it because you choose to.
Loving you....
I'm glad you're getting through this. You will get through this, and the next thing too. This too shall pass. Thanks for your posts.
It is an ugly disease, true, but you are beautiful. You are way more than all the disease stuff and as much as it can try to drag you down too, you transcend all of it because you choose to.
Loving you....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: raytown,mo
Posts: 107
Good for you
I'm going though the same thing. I left 3 months ago and he still won't really admit a problem. But he'll put a percentage of his life insurance in my name? Try to be strong, I know it hurts but this to shall pass.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Wow
Think about it BGP if that is the pain you had to have to take the steps you just did in your recovery today................
Well that is pretty huge and VERY beautiful to watch because that is what you need to move past this relationship and find acceptance and senerity.
How can you doubt if God is with you, he just put a fire under your bums.
Think about it BGP if that is the pain you had to have to take the steps you just did in your recovery today................
Well that is pretty huge and VERY beautiful to watch because that is what you need to move past this relationship and find acceptance and senerity.
How can you doubt if God is with you, he just put a fire under your bums.
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