Mylamyyy

my husband has decided to go to his forst AA meeting !! I`m really pleased...i`ve been hoping for this to happend, that he realise he cannot do this by himself.He missed this one, so its one month until the next meeting, and I`m crossing my fingers that he will keep sober now cause i`m so tired of this.

But i need some advice ...what do we do when he is trying to quit? I`m doing my best to be positive and nice, but whatever I do he is just sooo grumphy..... for the last two days he gets angry with me for nothing ...like today I bought him his favourite yoghurt shots, and he got so angry because I had not looked properly and they expires tomorrow...i told him its no big deal we`ll just get new ones but he made a huge deal about this.....and yesterday he got angry because I said we could not trade our brand new car in for another new one....hes like a baby with tantrums..... Is this "normal" when they are trying to quit drinking ...the mood swings?

Sometimes I wonder if the man i fell in love with has left this earth for good....other times i see a small glimps of him within this awful drunk im married to at the moment....

Grasshopper

Until i had the tools of learning a new way to live,i was like a bear with a sore paw.
In the mean-time,he can get help by calling members.looking into the phone book under AA.There you both can find help in AA and Al-anon if you choose.I cant imagin how i would be,if i hadnt goten help for myself,before and after,my hub came to AA rooms.He was antsy too,but i had my tools..[recovery program/fellowship]...smile.

ICU

I've heard that this is a common occurance, so it 'could be' related to that.

But after re-reading some of your other posts, I wonder if that's just 'who he really is'...angry while drinking or not drinking! It might be something worthwhile to consider.

Mylamyyy

I do not excactly know. I`ve been with him since i was 15 and he was 16..... and already then he was having trouble with drinking and aggression... but for the past year everything has gotten completely out of control with him...
Before he was wonderful and kind when he was not drinking....but now he is horrible when drinking....then, nice for a few days and then he sinks into kind of a depressive state mixed with some kind of rage.....however when he stays sober for a "longer" period (Like a month or two) he gets more positive and then he is not agrressive at all ..... its like he hates himself for drinking...and then for not beeing able to drink and he cannot cope with the emotions and turns his aggressiveness towards me or other people.....

its so painful to love someone like that....

parentrecovers

glad he's going to aa. take good care of YOURSELF, you deserve it! k

Nuudawn

Quitting drinking is no stroll through the park. Early recovery is incredibly difficult..on both the alcoholic and the spouse. Alcohol arrests emotional development because it is the coping mechanism always turned to when dealing with just about everything (anxiety, sadness, anger, happiness, celebration, fear etc). As alcohol is all about suppression of feelings, they all come on up to the surface asking to be dealt with in sobriety.

WhatAboutME

My AH's disease has progressed to the point where he is miserable, moody and short-tempered when he's NOT drinking and just as miserable when he IS drinking. He's just freakin' miserable. And right now, he has not drank in 3 days and boy-oh-boy! He'll throw a fit over nothing. Today he was looking for something on the floor in the back of our car and I reached back to grab a magazine...He jumped back, slammed the door and screamed "You just hit me in the face with that magazine!" Are you kidding? Did it brush your cheek because I didn't even notice. Geez, sorry. He's still sitting on the couch pouting. Whatever.

Misery loves company.

chero

Hey My, I can relate to this. My AH is on the wagon...again. And no, I don't believe him. I mean he's gone all of three days w/o drinking.
But anyway. I told him the him trying to quit is almost as bad as him drunk. He gets so mean and nasty. I remember one night he screamed and yelled because he didn't like the gravy I made. He acused me treating him like a five year old and on and on and on. I remember thinking, "How did I get here?"

recovery4me

from my experience men find it extremely difficult to except this addiction and get so frustrated with them selves its hard to control
i am not making excuses for the way we are its our fault completely also you are amazing people to have coped with this burden of having a alcoholic to look after
they do appreciate what you do for them its hard to express gratitude and affection for some reason hope this may off given you a little look inside an alcoholics head good luck

chero

Thanks, R4Me. I like hearing from people who've been on the other side. Our A's are lucky to have us but I wonder, sometimes, where that leaves us?

Sunflower

hang in there! give him his space to recover...take care of you for a change

Mylamyyy

Its so comforting to know that I`m not alone (Tough i wish none of you had to go trough this ofcourse!!) I can really relate to your posts.

Dealing with an AH is quite lonely....especially if you, like me, do not have anyone to confide in. However now I have all of you, and it makes me feel much more confident in myself !! Thanx!!!

I hope AA will be the right thing for him *fingers crossed*