catlady

I have been asked to speak on my recovery in front of about 50 people. My first answer was "no", but I must have been codependent in my answer, since I am still considering it.

I was asked to talk to my sponsor and pray about it. My sponsor feels that when the program calls, you should answer. And that I have a message for others to hear. Praying isn't really helping.

I have a lot of anxiety, fear that I will sound "stupid". Also, my A is going to be in the group I will talk to. And that makes me very nervous.

What do you think?

liddy

catlady
I think if your sponser thinks your ready you probably are.
If it were left up to me i dont know if i would ever give my lead !
I will be in one yr next month and even though i would suffer
anxiety big time, i think i have to give back all i have gotten this
year.
I'm not sure if i would like the alcoholics in the room the first time
though seems it would inhibit me.
whatever you decide it will be right for you.

hugs
liddy

catlady

Thanks for your reply, Liddy.

I hadn't thought about giving back all that I have been getting, that is a wonderful way to see it.

Part of me wonders if I have anything to offer, being in the group just under a year myself. But, if others think I do, then I guess I am being led to do it.

Hangin' In

If you've been asked to speak, then obviously someone thinks you have something to share.

Reread that 12th step and call them and tell them you'll be there. I don't know where I'd be if all the people in my Al Anon group weren't willing to give back to the program. I am so thankful for them!

Ann

Catlady

I volunteer to speak at a recovery house (to addicts and their families and friends) and speak about 3 times a year, about codependency, explaining what it is, and recovery from it and how I got there.

I was scared to death my first time, but the response was so warm and wonderful and I learned to leave time at the end for questions. It is one of the most rewarding things I have done, and I would recommend it to anyone.

I write out a brief note on what I want to take about and where I want to go with it, just to keep me from wondering off topic, and then I just speak from my heart.

If you decide to do it, please let us know how you make out.

catlady

Thanks for your responses.

I am most likely going to do it. I feel it is important for me. I just haven't decided what to do about my Addict. My therapist suggested I consider asking him to stay home. I would feel very exposed emotionally to him if he heard my talk. And right now that isn't very safe for me.

I still haven't called and told them I would do it. Part of me keeps hoping God will step in and they will just get someone else. Yep, my character defects are showing.

I will fill you in next week.

Thanks

ScoobyDoo

Good luck Catlady! I hope someday that I have gotten to the stage where I can give back, right now I'm like A sponge, absorbing everything.

StillInTheDumps

Hi CatLady,

I am an AA / NA.
I have been asked to speak also. I have not given a definate yes or no yet. My sponsor thinks I'm ready and he will support me so I will most likely do it. Just the thought of it scares me to death. I suffer from anxiety.

Speaking for myself, at this point in time, if I knew my wife would be there, I would refuse to speak immediately. I am not prepared to let my wife hear me speak yet. Besides I may say something during speaking that my wife does not know about yet. I would rather make the amends to my wife at home then in a room full of people. (well the room full of people may protect me from her though LOL )

I know that I would very considerately ask my wife to stay home. I would tell her how her being there may effect MY program. After we have spent some time dealing with all kinds of issues, my wife understands that MY program comes first for ME. (if she does not understand, at least she has been patient and tolerant with me.)

Just thought I would share MY views on MY program. Every program is different in some way or another for each individual.

catlady

I agreed & gave the talk. With dh there. It went okay, I was much more nervous than I thought I would be. I'm glad it's over.

I set a boundary with dh that I didn't want to discuss it with him AT ALL. No comments from him at all. And he has respected that.

ScoobyDoo

That is great!!!!!

Ann

Good for you!!! and Good for him!!!

My son and I discuss whether or not we are comfortable with each other's presence when speaking, and sometimes we are and sometimes we are not, and we both just respect that.

They say in this program that in order to keep it, we have to give it away, and speaking is one way to give back what we have learned.

I am clapping for both of you - this is a good thing you did.

liddy

catlady !
I'm proud of you !
and guess what ??when i said i didnt know what i would do
if i had to give my lead, I did it this past weekend . I
attended a spiritual retreat weekend (not alanon) but sort of and was asked spur
of the moment to give mine and God seemed to give me the words ,truly amazing as the whole weekend was,although much of mine was in tears.
I'm proud of us.
love
liddy