HolyQow

Or is it just an act?

Many of you might remember that I banned alcohol from my home....the third night after that, AH comes home, sits at the computer and drinks a beer....I did not have a Qow ( ) but I said firmly, I said no alcohol in the house...and he has the nerve to say "I thought you just meant none in the fridge".

I guess I am just tired of explaining myself over and over again. He doesn't get it. He never will. He sat on the back porch and drank one, and he left the empty can and paper sack that it came in....I suppose so that I would clean it up?

Since the kids are spending the night at Grandma's tonight, I am thinking his excuse de jour will be "I thought you just meant when the kids are here"....

Poor thing, (or just plain dumb), can't understand why he can't sit in his own house and drink a beer. I think I am going to need steel toed boots soon....

Just a vent, tired of the dumb act....I know he isn't that dumb, then why pretend he is? It's not working.....try something NEW! Maybe it irks me so much, because he thinks I'm that dumb to fall for his BS.

Astro

Well, if my ex had told me I couldn't have it in the house I would've looked for sneaky, stupid, and cunning ways to hide it, lie about it, or just play dumb and pretend like I thought she didn't really mean it. Guess I got the hint when she pointed to the door and told me to leave.

Poor thing nothing. Make sure the boots are heavy and have extra steel in the toe. The harder you kick us the better, otherwise we just continue to act stupid.

Scott

duet_4-8

I doubt if he is dumb. He just doesn't care what you say. He is going to do what he is going to do.

Have you done what we have all done...you know, tell him "If you don't <insert whatever here> then I will <insert whatever here>"?

Did you follow through? Neither did I.

If you have done this, then just like a little child, he doesn't think you will back up what you say because you have said it before and when he pushed the issue, nothing happened.

My AH got his walking papers almost a month ago after 25 years of my threats to leave, leaving, believing him, coming back, threatening to leave, leaving, believing him, coming back....you get the picture.

Now the divorce is in fast forward and he is walking around shaking his head wondering what in the world happened. DUH....

dollydo

Makes you shake your head, doesn't it....been there...steel toed bunny slippers, that'll do the trick, fools them every time!

Seeking Wisdom

I can certainly understand your frustration .... the dumb act and the double talk I got when I asked a question he did not want to answer ... would always push my buttons. I really had trouble being fed "stupid talk" as if I weren't smart enough to know better. For me it was the boundry, "Can't be in the house if you have been drinking" ... and for years I heard every bizarre reason under the sun as to why his breath smelled like alcohol or why he was slurring his words!

I feel your pain... good luck!!

free2be

As a friend of mine once said about AH," He's dumb as a fox" I had never heard that expression. I quickly learned the meaning. The excuses he gave were even more ridiculous than the excuses my kids use. ex: " Do not pick up sand and throw it a Johnny" next thing I knew sand flew, " I told you not to throw sand" "No mom, you said not to pick up sand and throw it, so I didn't, I used my shovel and flung it at Johnny" Probably not the best example, but you get my drift. They will always find away around it. They do have away of even making you question yourself.

hope2bhappy

He's not dumb. He is testing your boundaries... just like a child.

prodigal

Yeah, I've tried the no-booze boundary and he just ignored it. After all, who am I to tell His Royal Highness what to do? It's a power and control "thing" after awhile. Someone generally ends up walking out after becoming too sick and tired of the endless "negotiations" and it's usually us, not the A.

The bottom line is, regardless of what you do, they WILL drink until they no longer want to drink.

chero

Prodigal, I can relate to that...mine just got on a power trip!

lilac

No, they are not that dumb. They are like little children testing your boundaries.

MsGolightly

that's exactly the point i've gotten too... do they really believe we're so stupid that we don't see the games they're playing or the lies they're telling? i may be naive at times but i'm not as stupid as i've been made out to be.

duet_4-8

Yep, until we say what we mean, mean what we say, and follow it up with action.

And until we don't let them manipulate us into changing our minds by guilt, shame, pity, or whatever the particular thing is that has always worked in the past.

Sunflower

all good advice from everyone---I like the dumb like a fox---that is so true.They are no dummies---look what they have trained us to do--put up with them!!! I am glad I no longer have to do this but I understand what you are saying.....
PS---you are so pretty! I love the avatar-skin like a baby!

HolyQow

Not skin like a baby.....pounds of makeup! I ordered the stuff from TV, and I really like it. It's just like the infomercial says, doesn't look like youre wearing it, if you don't put too much on.

This is what I feel like: BEEP BEEP BEEP THIS IS JUST A TEST... FOR THE NEXT 60 YEARS THIS IS A TEST....IN A REAL EMERGENCY YOU WOULD BE GIVEN STEEL TOED BOOTS AND DIRECTIONS....BEEP BEEP BEEP

Thanks for everyone's comments....it is as expected. He knows I won't do anything because "it's just one beer" .... frustrating, yes, very. He can keep testing me all he wants, I think I will plan it like a surprise party. He won't know when, and he won't be invited.

My youngest has been sick for almost a week, and he is the biggest whiner when he is sick....so I think that is wearing me down too. Looks like it's time for another ME ME ME day....maybe I'll order something bigger than makeup this time !

Lace 'em if ya got 'em.....

Sunflower

Is it the bare essentials makeup??? thats what I use to it's great---
Hang in there---AH is jealous that you are paying attention to a child instead of him/////

HolyQow

no, it's sheercover

I don't know which is better...they are probably same stuff. I might try other one next time.

steve11694

Grandiosity is commonly described in alcoholism medical literature

justjo

No he is not dumb. In fact he is quite clever. He simply is doing it because he knows he can..

He gets it... He simply is doing it because he knows you havent meant it.

Sorry, its a little like children who have no boundaries.

chero

Hey Steve, I was so shocked at that. I looked grandiosity up in the dictionary to see the exact meaning and it's also used in psychiatry terms and it means, among other things....having an exaggerated belief in one's importance, sometimes reaching delusional proportions, and occurring as a common symptom of mental illnesses, as manic disorder.

and I will add to that alcoholism!
Why does this make me feel better??

best

Doesn't think you are dumb. Alcohol has us think we are gifted...Yah this will work I am sure....

Sorry but I laughed like crazy reading your post. Remembering how dumb I was when I was drinking.
A child with his hand in the cookie jar.

Thought you only ment on Tuesdays.

Oh...that was last month. You still mean that?

This isn't beer...it is lite beer.

Just like the child being told ...do not go out of the yard... they (we) stand at the edge and place a toe over the edge, then half of a foot. Sooner or later it is one foot in and one foot out.
Alcohol can bring out the Peter Pan syndrome. I won't grow up..I won't grow up.