Room for one more?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: state of confusion
Posts: 351
Welcome loveRoy ... keep reading. You will find that many of your feelings and experiences are the same as others that have shared their lives with alcoholics. There is so much to be learned here ... keep coming back.
:Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NOR CAL
Posts: 70
Welcome,
I feel that way too, and ashamed and embarrassed, not only by AH's behavior, but also by my reaction to it. It's the nature of the beast. We need to work on what we CAN control, ourselves, and achieving the happiness we deserve. Even if my AH became sober, I think our relationship is over, because he has destroyed what we once had because of choices HE made. I remember everything he's done, I am bitter, but stronger and more determined to find happiness again. I know I can do that for ME.
I feel that way too, and ashamed and embarrassed, not only by AH's behavior, but also by my reaction to it. It's the nature of the beast. We need to work on what we CAN control, ourselves, and achieving the happiness we deserve. Even if my AH became sober, I think our relationship is over, because he has destroyed what we once had because of choices HE made. I remember everything he's done, I am bitter, but stronger and more determined to find happiness again. I know I can do that for ME.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by loveRoy 
Been reading the board for a few days and feel like I have found new friends. My AH's behavior makes me feel nasty and dirty. Anyone understand?
Look a little deeper. His behaviour does not make you feel nasty and dirty...is what YOU do or not do with it that makes you feel nasty and dirty.
Welcome.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: over yonder
Posts: 1,548
Welcome, do you feel like sharing your story and thoughts, some of us here have been where you are, some of us still stuck, so you are not alone
We are all here to help each other. We care and understand. There are no have to do, no must do, we all work at our own pace, it is progress rather than perfection.
Always remember to take what you can use and leave the rest. All our comment are to be suggestions only, we share how it was, what happened and what we are learning here.
I don't remember feeling nasty and dirty, but I could sure embarress myself by dumb things I said or did. Still do.
Again Welcome, bet you will start to feel better soon, I hope.
You asked if anyone understands, yes, living with an alcoholic is wild, somehow they seem to eventually all get to be nasty.
Bottles should be labeled, "Drinking this will cause you to not care about your wife and kids, or yourself, will make you lie, make unkind nasty remarks.
pass out, lose jobs, friends, everything. Too much will cause jail, death or insanity"
Sorry, I get carried away. Keep coming back.
Cariing, understanding hugs
We are all here to help each other. We care and understand. There are no have to do, no must do, we all work at our own pace, it is progress rather than perfection.
Always remember to take what you can use and leave the rest. All our comment are to be suggestions only, we share how it was, what happened and what we are learning here.
I don't remember feeling nasty and dirty, but I could sure embarress myself by dumb things I said or did. Still do.
Again Welcome, bet you will start to feel better soon, I hope.
You asked if anyone understands, yes, living with an alcoholic is wild, somehow they seem to eventually all get to be nasty.
Bottles should be labeled, "Drinking this will cause you to not care about your wife and kids, or yourself, will make you lie, make unkind nasty remarks.
pass out, lose jobs, friends, everything. Too much will cause jail, death or insanity"
Sorry, I get carried away. Keep coming back.
Cariing, understanding hugs
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Where the sun always shines!
Posts: 1,625
I TOTALLY understand.....when I started accepting responsiblity for my actions as a result of my G's behavior, I started healing. Yeah....I blamed a lot on him, but it was just as much my fault b/c I didn't hold tight to my "JUST SAY NO" boundary b/c I wanted to do whatever I could to make him happy and avoid conflict....and embarassment.
Some people wonder how I can't hate him for some of the things he's done......well, I'd have to hate myself too for what i've accepted.
Some people wonder how I can't hate him for some of the things he's done......well, I'd have to hate myself too for what i've accepted.
full of hope
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
Welcome Loveroy! Glad to have you on 'board'! 
You will find this place is amazing...never closed...and people here really, really understand!!
I, too, am living with my AH. It's been the hardest thing I've ever done! I was driving home from work today and I had just visited with some people at the store who don't know about my AH and I was thinking how different it is for me when people don't know. I could have gone to work for these people and I would never have done that because I was afraid of them finding out about my AH. It's hard, embarrassing and humiliating(sometimes) and well, it just plain stinks!!!! I can feel mad, scared, sad, happy(rarely), and just crazy all in the span of 1/2 hour! It's a rollercoaster ride for sure!
But, this place has helped me so so much! Don't be afraid to ask your questions, share your fears and just talk talk talk!
Welcome!
Much love, Cheryl
You will find this place is amazing...never closed...and people here really, really understand!!
I, too, am living with my AH. It's been the hardest thing I've ever done! I was driving home from work today and I had just visited with some people at the store who don't know about my AH and I was thinking how different it is for me when people don't know. I could have gone to work for these people and I would never have done that because I was afraid of them finding out about my AH. It's hard, embarrassing and humiliating(sometimes) and well, it just plain stinks!!!! I can feel mad, scared, sad, happy(rarely), and just crazy all in the span of 1/2 hour! It's a rollercoaster ride for sure!
But, this place has helped me so so much! Don't be afraid to ask your questions, share your fears and just talk talk talk!
Welcome!
Much love, Cheryl
it is what it is...
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 179
Welcome Loveroy, happy to have you, fill us in on yourself, don't be afraid to ramble, I do it all the time and no one gets mad. Look forward to hearing more from you.
Zoey, I love your label idea!!
Zoey, I love your label idea!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
welcome loveroy....tell us whats goin on ok....you came here because of something going on in your life....just like the rest of us....you can click on any of our names and read our histories and I am sure you will be able to identify with some if not all of us....take care
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: concord, nc
Posts: 304
Just read everyones post. You are all amazing. Currently my AH is in a rehab center. I have told him that he can't come home. I don't want to see his face or hear his voice. Everything is so complicated--yet so simple. I use to say that all I wanted was for him to "get better" and be the man I once knew--a man who would never lie or cause such pain. Now, I want to be by myself, far away from him. I can trust "me"
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