chero

I was trying to take some of your advice and start reading some of the books you guys recommended. But I haven't had time to go to the library or book store and then I remembered when I was in highschool I lived with my youth pastors and they ended up seperating and later reconciled but before they did one of them bought all of us this book...Love Is A Choice. And I hear you guys talking about being codependent...and let me say, it did not mean what I thought it meant...but...

Turns out I still have the book...and also turns out I just might be codependent. I'm a little freaked out! It listed the top 10 traits of a codependent...and OMG I think I have everyone of them!

Is this a good book??? Should I keep reading?? What do I do???

ICU

I've never heard of that book Chero, but if it helps you and you get something out of it, why not?

prodigal

Dr. Frank Minierth and Dr. Paul Meyer wrote that book. I read it many years ago. It goes through what they consider are ten stages of codependency and how to overcome it. They come from a Biblical perspective, but they are not preachy. I should go back and re-read it. The first time around I didn't "get" it and remained stuck in codependency for many years until I was lucky to find a great shrink.

chero

Thanks guys! I actually got a chance to read a few chapters tonight...it was really good and interesting. I'm new to all this, though? Is it normal to be talking about your childhood and parents and past??? I'm still a little confused about what codependency is...I think?!

I was about to post this and it dawned on me, I'm not really as confused as I am scared silly! Surely, recovery can't be worse than what I'm living with now????

DesertEyes

Hey there chero,

Yup, if you notice, we talk about pretty much _anything_ 'round here But yeah, anything that affects our recovery is good to talk about.

It's a word used to cover a lot of different behaviors that all seem to gather in people who's lives have been affected by somebody else's addiction / drinking. One definition is that if you harm yourself in the process of doing for others what they can do for themselves then you are a "codie".

The definition I like for me is that if you get in a terrible accident and somebody else's life flashes before your eyes, then you're a codie.

I don't care much for the word "co-dependency". It's supposed to mean that a person is "dependent" on another person who is "dependent" on chemicals. I think the word is too long and high-faluting. I prefer the word "alanoid" cuz I really feel like living with an "A" is like living on a different planet

Mike

Zoey

I soo agree with Mike. LOL

chero

OUCH!!! That word harm stuck me like a knife in the chest!

You know what would probably flash before my eyes is the thought, "Who would take care of him without me here?

That's great! An alanoid from planet alcohol seeking refuge from codie town. Scheduled stop offs at SR on way to..........?? healing, wholeness, wellness...??? Happiness! Happiness, that's where I'm seeking refuge!

Thanks, Mike, you always make me smile!
Have a great day! , Cheryl