Ronron

I confronted my friend this morning. She woke up with a huge goose egg above her eye and no memory of how it got there. This was the first morning she's been sober since Thursday. I told her lovingly that we could no longer allow her to try getting sober on her own and we can't watch her continue to fail at the attempt. I gave her the choice of checking into rehab or finding an appartment. Either way, I had taken today off from work and we were going to do one or the other. I expressed that I hoped she would choose rehab because we love her and want her to be a part of our family. We went to the center, which is a nice one, very homey atmosphere. We stayed there all day doing the various tests, assessments and waiting for the insurance company response. For now, they have approved treatment until Friday with a review to determine if more is needed then. Of course, I realize that she needs to be there longer than that, hopefully, the insurance company will as well. She thanked me and only offered small resistance saying that she 'just needs a week' and that she is 'sure I can do this on my own'. To both, I simply replied, no. The only other thing she said that was a little difficult to hear was that she feels isolated and that even though she lives with a family of five, no one really pays any attention to her. She said that if I would just sit with her for a few minutes every day and talk, she would feel more part of the family. I apologized for hurting her and explained why I don't sit and talk with her. It's just too difficult to have a conversation with a drunk person. I realize that she is giving me the alocholic 'I drink because you make me' line, so that is kind of annoying. On the other hand, being willing to go is better than nothing. On to my second Al-anon meeting tomorrow.

Roni

hope2bhappy

I think you have done really well. You have shown her understanding and compassion while sticking to your boundaries. Good for you.

Cynay

I hope it works for the both of you Roni.

Good job at setting and sticking to your boundries.... also glad to hear your going to a meeting and dont have to do this alone.

kermit

You have done well, Roni. Thoughts and prayers are with all of you

embraced2000

prayers going up for you and your friend. you did a tremendous job. bravo.

denny57

Nice work, Roni. I hope it helps her.

lillian

wow, i can't believe you only had two- one? meeting and you handled this so well/you did a great job of setting clear boundaries and detaching with love

Ronron

I am 40 years old in a 17 year stable and happy marriage with three healthy, well-adjusted sons. I did have a troubled childhood, but it did not involve drugs or alcohol. I wonder if I am able to use the methods that work because I have been a mother so long in a healthy environment and because my relationship with my friend, though long, has been long distance until June of last year. In other words, though I love her dearly, detachment isn't quite as difficult because I haven't had time to get attached? And calm boundaries were easier because I've had to set so many with my kids? Just a thought. I still NEED support here and at al-anon to keep my self grounded, sane and lessen the guilt.

Roni