She is in ICU

Old 03-13-2007, 10:05 PM
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I agree and understand but not while they are in ICU. As far as the kids visiting, I'd say no. ICU is a scary place, with lots of machines, another patient may code, lots of beeps and alarms, lots of machines and IVs. As a mother, I wouldn't want my little kids being upset by that. Denial and saying good bye is not an intervention, it is doing the right thing at the right time and place. The family came to say good bye. Your friend asked for help realizing the seriousness of his own condition.
I'll be honest as an RN for nearly 20 years, if I had a patient acute enough to be in ICU and a family requested an intervention, that would indicate to me that they did not understand the medical acuity of being in ICU. YOuhave to save a life before you can straighten it out. Stress is contraindicated for any patient in ICU, getting them all worked up, especially when they have an active bleed is not a good idea. She may not make it, I'd wait until she is stable.
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Old 03-14-2007, 09:16 AM
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Thinking of you this morning, hope all is well
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Old 03-14-2007, 12:18 PM
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guy, How are you? Hope you check in soon. Concerned hugs
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Old 03-14-2007, 01:13 PM
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[COLOR="Purple"]I guess being an EX is a hard spot to be in.You sound like a good man.And you do have children that keeps you forever connected..
My parent divorced when I was an infant--both remarried by the time I was 4(to the right people) No matter what they always got along-I was in the 3rd grade before I realized everyone didn't have 4 parents and 6 grandparents hah

a--my mother and father loved each other very much--right until the end of their lives--they just couldn't be married..I am proud now as an adult that they handles all those holidays and everything so well.....No alcohol was involved so for you it is differ
ent.
You do have a responcibility to the children wether she is a good mother or not--unless she has cut those ties?If she has then walk away--I did with my son when he was almost 2-he is now 27...doesn't know his father--only because his father didnt want to know him--he walke
d awy. BT I NEVER EVER said anything bad to him about his father-nor did the family at my request.I kept it simple--''your dad is sick and can't take care of us'' I can't write here what I really wanted to say haha--but to a child--a mother is a mother a father is a father--if they see their parents in a bad light--they come to believe-they must be bad too-after all their mom r dad is,,,[/COLO

Please stay strong--you have a right to know how she is doing-and to call and check---if there is another man now--let him stay with her and make her choices.R]
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Old 03-14-2007, 01:14 PM
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I will keep you all in my prayers.
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Old 03-14-2007, 01:21 PM
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as an RN for over 20 years I totally agree with Mallowcup--not a good place for kids or for intervention...
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Old 03-14-2007, 03:51 PM
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Thanks again for the prayers. I talked with her again today. She sounded much better and she has been moved to another room. (I assume she is no longer in ICU.) She said she might get out in a couple of days.

However, I think it is esohageal varices. It has a terrible prognosis. I can only hope she has not damaged herself so severely, that has no chance to stabilize....or even get a little better. I think she has no idea of the severity of this. She thinks if she can just stop drinking, she will get better. I hope she is right.

I hate alcoholism!
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Old 03-14-2007, 04:04 PM
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Sorry sweetie... I know its hard.
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Old 03-14-2007, 04:21 PM
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I had a feeling that's what it might be and you are right about the prognosis. This diagnosis also indicates the status of all her vasculature. This was a warning, a serious warning. If her vasculature is shot, I wouldn't imagine that the damage stops there.
I have no doubt that the doctors were straight up with her.
I am glad you feel less worried. You are a good man, a great dad and a good role model.
This day has been a long time coming and now it has arrived. She has options.
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Old 03-14-2007, 05:01 PM
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guy, Thank you for letting us know, I am glad she is out of ICU, but sad this still doesn't look good. Have her parents arrived?

More caring hugs to eveeryone.
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Old 03-14-2007, 05:01 PM
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Thiss diagnosis is very serious--she is lucky to be alive--Ihope she knows this and chooses the right path
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Old 03-14-2007, 06:50 PM
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(((guy)))
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Old 03-14-2007, 08:04 PM
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I did some research on esophageal varices a year ago when my father was dying of esophageal cancer (caused by long-term heartburn, not alcoholism). I'm the type of person who wants to know all the facts so that I can prepare myself emotionally for what may lie ahead. As Mallow and FrizzyLynn have mentioned, it's a serious problem that usually indicates the presence of alcoholic liver disease. In my father's case, the cancer had spread from his esophagus to his liver (and lungs), causing the varices.

One of the problems with esophageal varices (if that is your wife's diagnosis--without speaking with the doctor in person, it's hard for you to know for sure) is that once you develop them, they tend to recur within the next 1-2 years. In healthier patients than my father, if the alcoholic is able to stop drinking there are some treatments that can help prevent a recurrence. The use of an esophageal ring was mentioned, although I don't recall exactly what that was or what it entailed.

Sending prayers for peace for you and your children, Guy, and healing prayers for your wife.
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Old 03-14-2007, 08:41 PM
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doormat you are one smart cookie--in todays health care you better investigate everything you can. I have only had 2 patients with the ring and neither did well--but i am sure some do.....I knew a guy who was an A when I was in my 20s who has one rupture--awful--he didn't make it--this is a very serious diagnosis.Sorry about your Dad as well........
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Old 03-14-2007, 08:51 PM
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Thanks, FrizzyLynn.
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Old 03-15-2007, 12:04 AM
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So sorry to hear about your situation. Hope that she gets the care she needs and that it may be the beginning of a better life for her and her family.
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Old 03-15-2007, 11:17 AM
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Guy, hugs to you and the girls.
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Old 03-15-2007, 06:49 PM
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My thoughts and prayers are with you and the girls as well hun...OMG I hope things turn out ok...we never want to "see" the end result do we? Please remember that you have done all and then some that you could do...you have been the rock of gibralter...you have given her every opportunity to come around and she has refused any and all help from you ...please dont blame yourself in any way...take care hun.
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Old 03-15-2007, 07:57 PM
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Be careful Guy, if you get too involved again, it will bring YOU down to your knees. Detach with love, let the pro's take care of her, while you take care of you...for yourself and your kids.

Praying hard over here for you...and her.
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Old 03-15-2007, 08:06 PM
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Hi guy....I have come here three times to leave you a note of support and each time I close out before I can send b/c I'm distracted. I just wanted you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your kids...take good care of you.
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