when does the crying stop?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 792
when does the crying stop?
Hi everyone, I've told my ex A that I don't want to do this anymore and to call me when she gets her act together. But she's already moved onto someone else - someone who's completely comfortable with her drinking. How can someone do this to someone else? How could I just be replaced? How can she already be manipulated by someone else who doesn't even care about her the way I do?
When will I stop crying?
When will I stop crying?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Happy with me !
Posts: 680
I am so sorry you are hurting right now......crying cleanses the soul.....
(and gives you one heck of a headache sometimes).
I don't really know what to tell you as to why someone does something like this. However, I believe addicts don't think like the rest of us, and are very self-centered and selfish......
Let you pain take it's course........Tomorrow is another day, and things WILL get better.
Please know you are not alone here......(((Hugs)))
(and gives you one heck of a headache sometimes).
I don't really know what to tell you as to why someone does something like this. However, I believe addicts don't think like the rest of us, and are very self-centered and selfish......
Let you pain take it's course........Tomorrow is another day, and things WILL get better.
Please know you are not alone here......(((Hugs)))
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
((((ITFM)))))
I am so sorry for your pain. I know it has to hurt really bad.
People who have alcohol and substance abuse issues who are not working on the issues do some very hurtful things to those that love them. She probably did it cause she just can't feel right now and because drinking is the most important thing in her life which is why you decided it would be best for you to let her go.
Be glad you can feel even though it hurts. Let's hope and pray that one day she does wake up and decide that her life is worth more than what the bottle gives her.
Be gentle with yourself keep crying until the tears stop cause they will. I am sure you did not make the decission easily and your heart is hurting right now the tear really will stop I promise!! Take care of yourself this is not your fault!!!
I am so sorry for your pain. I know it has to hurt really bad.
People who have alcohol and substance abuse issues who are not working on the issues do some very hurtful things to those that love them. She probably did it cause she just can't feel right now and because drinking is the most important thing in her life which is why you decided it would be best for you to let her go.
Be glad you can feel even though it hurts. Let's hope and pray that one day she does wake up and decide that her life is worth more than what the bottle gives her.
Be gentle with yourself keep crying until the tears stop cause they will. I am sure you did not make the decission easily and your heart is hurting right now the tear really will stop I promise!! Take care of yourself this is not your fault!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
You pose the question as to how can she be manipulated by someone else who doesn't care for her as you do. I think the real question here should be is how was she able to so quickly and easily begin manipulating someone else. Or perhaps, it isn't manipulation it's just two alkies enjoying their endless "happy hour" together. The answer is as clear as the nose on your face: he doesn't mind her being a drunk. He's probably a drunk too. Birds of a feather, you know ....
HER NUMBER ONE PRIORITY IS A BOTTLE. YOU ARE A DISTANT SECOND, AT BEST. That is the way it is with an addict. Period. End of sentence. End of paragraph.
The fundamental question you need to ask yourself, even though you are feeling the terrible pain of rejection right now is this: why don't YOU think you deserve a woman who will be emotionally invested in caring about who you are and what you need?
When does the crying stop? When you can dig down inside yourself and cry the pain that you, and you alone, own. She is causing you pain, that's for certain. But that's what addicts do when they destroy people in their path. Our pain stems from getting overly-involved in their addiction, their business, their problems, and just about any other thing going on (or not going on) in their lives.
HER NUMBER ONE PRIORITY IS A BOTTLE. YOU ARE A DISTANT SECOND, AT BEST. That is the way it is with an addict. Period. End of sentence. End of paragraph.
The fundamental question you need to ask yourself, even though you are feeling the terrible pain of rejection right now is this: why don't YOU think you deserve a woman who will be emotionally invested in caring about who you are and what you need?
When does the crying stop? When you can dig down inside yourself and cry the pain that you, and you alone, own. She is causing you pain, that's for certain. But that's what addicts do when they destroy people in their path. Our pain stems from getting overly-involved in their addiction, their business, their problems, and just about any other thing going on (or not going on) in their lives.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Hi,
She's making the choices that she wants to, and for whatever reason that makes sense in her mind to suit her needs.
I'm sorry for your pain. When I'm in that type of pain I try to learn from it and avoid experiencing what caused it. Many times in my own recovery I would place myself in the same situation that had previously been so painful.
Going to meetings and coming here can teach us why we allow such things that hurt so badly and so deeply. You can move on from this and find someone who will offer you so much more.
It's good you took a stand for yourself, that's not always an easy thing to do. You were not replaced, there is merely another person there with her.
She's making the choices that she wants to, and for whatever reason that makes sense in her mind to suit her needs.
I'm sorry for your pain. When I'm in that type of pain I try to learn from it and avoid experiencing what caused it. Many times in my own recovery I would place myself in the same situation that had previously been so painful.
Going to meetings and coming here can teach us why we allow such things that hurt so badly and so deeply. You can move on from this and find someone who will offer you so much more.
It's good you took a stand for yourself, that's not always an easy thing to do. You were not replaced, there is merely another person there with her.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Los Angeles CA
Posts: 37
Thanks to CMC (I keep getting an error when trying to do it)
IsThisForMe-you were thinking she would get her act together and call you weren't you? (sorry to make an assumption, I'm going based on my own experiences with that hope) You were hoping that she would at least....well, most times they don't. Most times they don't act the way we want them to. And it hurts. And we cry, till it fades and we don't cry anymore.
Much love and hugs to you, you sound like a warm sensitive soul and in the future you will have the very relationship with someone else that you thought you had with this girl!
LS
IsThisForMe-you were thinking she would get her act together and call you weren't you? (sorry to make an assumption, I'm going based on my own experiences with that hope) You were hoping that she would at least....well, most times they don't. Most times they don't act the way we want them to. And it hurts. And we cry, till it fades and we don't cry anymore.
Much love and hugs to you, you sound like a warm sensitive soul and in the future you will have the very relationship with someone else that you thought you had with this girl!
LS
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
Sorry you have go through this.
Why ?
She's incapable of loving herself or anyone else
and you. If you had ever attended an AA
meeting...It's said all the time.
Alkis are INcapable of love.
How could you, if you are F-up out of your freaken mind,
numb, and seeing double visions.??
There's no decisions...if you're delusional.
It's just convinent.
And if you're trying to get her to understand or care.
.....she's incapable and delusional.
It'll just drive you crazy. The guy that she's with
is going to have to deal with the madness and insanity.
And I can't stop you for trying. and i would understand
if you did.
I know it hurts...
I express myself sometimes using words such as
chaos and madness...I know the experience.
However...there's things to consider.
What are you going to do when she comes running
back to you ?
I'll say within 60-90 days.
I'm willing to bet on it.
If nothing changes...nothing changes
Why ?
She's incapable of loving herself or anyone else
and you. If you had ever attended an AA
meeting...It's said all the time.
Alkis are INcapable of love.
How could you, if you are F-up out of your freaken mind,
numb, and seeing double visions.??
There's no decisions...if you're delusional.
It's just convinent.
And if you're trying to get her to understand or care.
.....she's incapable and delusional.
It'll just drive you crazy. The guy that she's with
is going to have to deal with the madness and insanity.
And I can't stop you for trying. and i would understand
if you did.
I know it hurts...
I express myself sometimes using words such as
chaos and madness...I know the experience.
However...there's things to consider.
What are you going to do when she comes running
back to you ?
I'll say within 60-90 days.
I'm willing to bet on it.
If nothing changes...nothing changes
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
