4LeafClover

I've been busy going to court and trying to keep eveyrything together. Today, I got the permanent restraining order, for 1 year. And I feel so sad because I can't stop hoping that maybe he will grow up and we might have a chance again. I know it's not doing me any good to think this, but I can't stop it. All I want is the good times with him, without the beer and the drugs. And I know that since he's already 27, it's probably not going to stop now. I just wish I knew what he was thinking, and I miss him. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

cmc

Hi,
I still have hope for my son to stay clean and find a better way to live. I don't see anything wrong with wanting to enjoy being with the people we love, wanting them to be healthy etc. I have many happy memories of my son and would love to have more days like those to spend with him and with our whole family.
The only problem this could be for me is if I hinge my happiness and well-being on the choices of somebody else. I cannot live in a constant state of worry, always wondering what he will do next. I have to let go first of all for my own sanity and secondly my letting go works for his benefit too.
btw... 27 is just as good an age to find sobriety as any other. It all boils down to if and when someone is finally willing to stop.

kglast

yes, i know what you are talking about. mine is 37 and still can't stop....i just had a weekend of sober time with him and as soon as i am gone, he goes right back. and it is getting worse. i am beginning to give up hope...i hope your situation turns out better than it looks like mine will....god bless.

hope2bhappy

There's always hope. Mine was 46 when he sought help. Been drinking since he was about 17.

denny57

AH was 27 when I met him, already alcoholic, though I didn't understand that at the time. He's now 46 and we're divorcing. Only you can decide what to do because at the end of 19 years one of two things will have happened: he will have sought recovery or not. What I understand now, but didn't then, was that is why it's important to make my decisions based on what I want for my life, not my hope for someone else's recovery. That is out of my control.

Take care.

golden4life

"that is why it's important to make my decisions based on what I want for my life, not my hope for someone else's recovery"

This is just a great way of putting it. Really, hit home for me.