what are the final stages like?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Posts: 79
what are the final stages like?
Hi there... I am new at this web site, not new to living with alcoholism (AH ) My H is functional and works, pays bills,does not go to bars, good father, is not mean or abusive...I know does not sound all that bad...and sometimes I think its not. However, he has been on and off (more on) since we have been married almost 22yrs. So, like the majority of A's, he does function. This past year I have noticed some changes- first off, his weight is up -mostly the belly, his eyes are no longer white, he has the reddish head-spider veins along the jaw, and I have noticed, his memory is not as clear (no wonder) on some things that I know I have told him. He gets chitty chatty when he drinks and often will buy me or the kids things I believe to cover it up or make up for his secretive behavior. God only know how much he drinks as I no longer look for it-usually would be in his trunk (car) in water bottles white wine-it is a waste of my time. I guess last week, my parents were out and my father mentioned that my AH was feeling no pain. I guess I have become accustomed to his behavior that it is almost normal around here for me when he is like that. I know I was paying more attention to what i was making for dinner etc. than him so I suppose that was why I did not notice his behavior. I know my parents are concerned about him because he looks terrible. Are some of these signs/symptoms what happens in the end? I so think his liver is probably is in bad shape and I do worry that if he is drinking and driving-God only knows what could happen. As for the intimacy, that stopped about a week ago after my father's comments- I really am not attracted to this man the way he looks. I told him that I have not been close to him and he told me I need not explain as he understands. Both his parents are deceased and he is an only child. I would just like some comments about this if anyone out there lives with a similar situation. My H is in outside sales so drinking just about anywhere is possible, even on his overnights elsewhere. I know he is faithful to me for sure so that is definitely not an issue. Comments welcome. Yes i know I need to go to al-anon so you need not tell me that. I will be going back to my therapist shortly also.
Recovering Nicely
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
Member,
My AH and yours could be long lost twins. Mine used to drink heavily for many years, then quit for 14, then started again. Like yours, he pays the bills, doesn't go to bars, doesn't cheat, isn't mean, etc. And also very similarly, when he's drinking he will buy me, the kids and grandkids anything they want, he is so generous. Don't get me wrong, at times he does get into moods and brings up how much he does for us, but 99% of the time he is a sweetheart. The thing I hate most about his drinking is he talks, talks, talks, repeats, repeats, repeats and I just about lose my mind at times. And when he's drunk for many nights on end, I sometimes yell and scream (mostly about once every 4 mos. or so). Anyway, I too would like to know what end stages are about. My AH's liver enzymes were all out of wack, so GP recommended he see a liver specialist, which we did. His platelets are very low and getting lower each time, but the liver dr. was finally able to do a biopsy. The preliminary diagnosis is alcoholic liver disease (his biopsy showed lots of fat and minimal fibrosis) and the dr. wouldn't go into more detail until our follow up appointment in three weeks. Anyway, AH now thinks he only has a fatty liver and is on a binge again. His face has spider angiomas all over his cheeks, sides of his face and nose (like really, really bad). The more he drinks he more his face actually turns purple and blue, almost black. He gets daily bloody noses and tries to hide it by burying the toilet paper on the bottom of the garbage pail. Just recently he came to pick me up at work and one of my co-workers hadn't seen him in over a year and she remarked she couldn't get over how red his face looked and how he looked. She said she had to do a double take. I see him aging rapidy, eyes always bloodshot and puffy, face always the way I described above and I think he's near end stages of alcoholism. And sometimes, even when he isn't drinking, his mind is definitely not there, doesn't remember conversations and can't do menial tasks correct. I hope we get some answers on what end stage is because I've tried googling it and don't really get anything. Hang in there. QT
My AH and yours could be long lost twins. Mine used to drink heavily for many years, then quit for 14, then started again. Like yours, he pays the bills, doesn't go to bars, doesn't cheat, isn't mean, etc. And also very similarly, when he's drinking he will buy me, the kids and grandkids anything they want, he is so generous. Don't get me wrong, at times he does get into moods and brings up how much he does for us, but 99% of the time he is a sweetheart. The thing I hate most about his drinking is he talks, talks, talks, repeats, repeats, repeats and I just about lose my mind at times. And when he's drunk for many nights on end, I sometimes yell and scream (mostly about once every 4 mos. or so). Anyway, I too would like to know what end stages are about. My AH's liver enzymes were all out of wack, so GP recommended he see a liver specialist, which we did. His platelets are very low and getting lower each time, but the liver dr. was finally able to do a biopsy. The preliminary diagnosis is alcoholic liver disease (his biopsy showed lots of fat and minimal fibrosis) and the dr. wouldn't go into more detail until our follow up appointment in three weeks. Anyway, AH now thinks he only has a fatty liver and is on a binge again. His face has spider angiomas all over his cheeks, sides of his face and nose (like really, really bad). The more he drinks he more his face actually turns purple and blue, almost black. He gets daily bloody noses and tries to hide it by burying the toilet paper on the bottom of the garbage pail. Just recently he came to pick me up at work and one of my co-workers hadn't seen him in over a year and she remarked she couldn't get over how red his face looked and how he looked. She said she had to do a double take. I see him aging rapidy, eyes always bloodshot and puffy, face always the way I described above and I think he's near end stages of alcoholism. And sometimes, even when he isn't drinking, his mind is definitely not there, doesn't remember conversations and can't do menial tasks correct. I hope we get some answers on what end stage is because I've tried googling it and don't really get anything. Hang in there. QT
So sick of Love songs
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Exactly where my HP intends for me to be!
Posts: 83
I feel for you - you story is similar to mine.
I am new too. I don't have all of the answers but I can tell you this, the only thing that has brought me any peace is AlAnon.
Find a meeting and get you healthy!
Peace be with you!
Sage
I am new too. I don't have all of the answers but I can tell you this, the only thing that has brought me any peace is AlAnon.
Find a meeting and get you healthy!
Peace be with you!
Sage
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
There are no exceptions to the rule. Flesh and blood, that's what we're all made of. The secrets reveal themselves with yellow eyes and spider veins, bloated bellies and so on. In some ways, I'm glad you have detached enough not to monitor his drinking.
I think if you could get him in to have a physical, that would be great.
I found out something by accident, I showed my husband some photos that were taken recently of family and he was in them. He is the one who noticed how he looked. He saw himself by comparison to the others in the photo who had barely changed. He looked at me with such a scared look in his eyes.
It was a freeze frame moment, a flahsbulb moment where nothing needed to be said. He tried giving up alcohol for lent, that lasted 1 day. That's never happened before, that he couldn't quit for lent. He had a horrible headache.
He had a drink and the headache went away. Since then, he has been progressively drinking more, just beer.
The end can come in many ways, fast, slow, mental, physical. It is a progressive loss to an inevitable end.
You said that you aree sure he is faithful, is he impotent? I believe my husband is at this point. He seems suprised if and when he is capable.
In some ironic way, it is one less burden for me. Not because that part of our relationship is over but because his fidelity when drinking was always a worry to me.
You could call the doc or go and make an appointment to discuss your concerns, you might get a better clock on his condition.
I think if you could get him in to have a physical, that would be great.
I found out something by accident, I showed my husband some photos that were taken recently of family and he was in them. He is the one who noticed how he looked. He saw himself by comparison to the others in the photo who had barely changed. He looked at me with such a scared look in his eyes.
It was a freeze frame moment, a flahsbulb moment where nothing needed to be said. He tried giving up alcohol for lent, that lasted 1 day. That's never happened before, that he couldn't quit for lent. He had a horrible headache.
He had a drink and the headache went away. Since then, he has been progressively drinking more, just beer.
The end can come in many ways, fast, slow, mental, physical. It is a progressive loss to an inevitable end.
You said that you aree sure he is faithful, is he impotent? I believe my husband is at this point. He seems suprised if and when he is capable.
In some ironic way, it is one less burden for me. Not because that part of our relationship is over but because his fidelity when drinking was always a worry to me.
You could call the doc or go and make an appointment to discuss your concerns, you might get a better clock on his condition.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Originally Posted by mallowcup 
You said that you aree sure he is faithful, is he impotent? I believe my husband is at this point. He seems suprised if and when he is capable.
Not to give you anything more to worry about,but I learned my AH (who I at least was sure would never stray) decided to leave both to drink and "date" AFTER he began to have problems with intamacy. I think he was already trying the Viagra route but decided it couldn't be "him" so it must be "me" that was making him "that way" and all he needed was to find some younger women.....not sure how that worked. He is falling apart physically so much in the past several years since he took flight. Prostate surgery,back surgery,hearing aids,etc.... He is still outwardly very successful, pays the bills, generous especially when he is feeling guilty,etc;just angry if it doesn't meant he can have "carte blanche" with his behavior because of it.
Of course, this "experiment" of his may have failed,too. I wouldn't know.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
I watched my aunt in the final stages of alcoholism, and it was pretty doggone awful. She ate baby food because her digestive system was wrecked. She couldn't digest solid foods the last three years of her life. She died of congestive heart failure. The doctor said her heart gave out, along with her stomach and esophogus due to years of alcohol abuse.
My AH was one of the cutest guys in the world. He had a baby face and he worked out five days a week. Nicely muscled, but not like a body-builder. He ran at least 20 miles a week. I looked at him last week and there was nothing left. He is skin and bones and his skin is just drapped across the bones. His stomach has a slight bulge. I noticed on a discharge bill from the walk-in clinic (he finally went because he has SEVERE bronchitis) that his blood pressure is high.
He's aged. No more sweet baby face. He doesn't have the spider veins on his face, but the facial skin sags just as it does on the rest of his body. His brain is fried. Forgetful, irrational, just plain nuts. He vomits a lot and doesn't eat when he's on a bender. I'm often amazed that he's still alive given the amount of booze he drinks.
I think the end is probably different depending on what organs are vulnerable in a particular individual. I've heard that some have strokes or heart attacks. Others get cancer of the esophogus or stomach. Some have their liver konk out and others die in horrible car accidents when drinking & driving.
My AH was one of the cutest guys in the world. He had a baby face and he worked out five days a week. Nicely muscled, but not like a body-builder. He ran at least 20 miles a week. I looked at him last week and there was nothing left. He is skin and bones and his skin is just drapped across the bones. His stomach has a slight bulge. I noticed on a discharge bill from the walk-in clinic (he finally went because he has SEVERE bronchitis) that his blood pressure is high.
He's aged. No more sweet baby face. He doesn't have the spider veins on his face, but the facial skin sags just as it does on the rest of his body. His brain is fried. Forgetful, irrational, just plain nuts. He vomits a lot and doesn't eat when he's on a bender. I'm often amazed that he's still alive given the amount of booze he drinks.
I think the end is probably different depending on what organs are vulnerable in a particular individual. I've heard that some have strokes or heart attacks. Others get cancer of the esophogus or stomach. Some have their liver konk out and others die in horrible car accidents when drinking & driving.
Recovering Nicely
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
Mine used to be real handsome too, with a good body. Now he looks like an old man - and like your's prodigal - he doesn't eat when he's on a bender. I just don't get how anyone can not eat for like a week or two and only put alcohol in their body and not get physically harmed by that, let alone deal with how sick they must feel after drinking that amount of alcohol on an empty stomach. I just don't get it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Hi, I no longer live with that situation, but I did.
There are a lot of resources, in books and on the internet, that discuss the stages of alcoholism. It's a different progression for everyone; and not everyone suffers all of them, but eventually, some will show up if the drinking continues.
I really feel for you and what you are going through. I try to remember that AH's wanting to blame me for everything is along the same thinking I had that his drinking was to blame for all that was wrong. I didn't want to look at my part any more than he wanted to look at his. Add to that the physical addiction and the nice numbing effect alcohol gave him, no wonder. None of that excuses his not getting help for his addiction; it merely helps me understand that it is difficult for everyone to change, just not the alcoholic.
Take care.
There are a lot of resources, in books and on the internet, that discuss the stages of alcoholism. It's a different progression for everyone; and not everyone suffers all of them, but eventually, some will show up if the drinking continues.
I really feel for you and what you are going through. I try to remember that AH's wanting to blame me for everything is along the same thinking I had that his drinking was to blame for all that was wrong. I didn't want to look at my part any more than he wanted to look at his. Add to that the physical addiction and the nice numbing effect alcohol gave him, no wonder. None of that excuses his not getting help for his addiction; it merely helps me understand that it is difficult for everyone to change, just not the alcoholic.
Take care.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Posts: 79
Thanks for all the comments. One thing I forgot to mention was that almost every night,probably around 3 am-he is up with "the scoots" in the bathroom. Sorry to be so blunt. I told him that that was not normal and he should go to the doctors. He told me he would after he was off the stuff for a while. I guess that while has not come. I know he is afraid of what might be said to him. Over a year ago, he did go to the docs for a physical so I wrote a letter to his doctor prior to his visit to let the doctor know of what had been going on (for so long). To make a long story short, his doctor put him on caparell (sp) I guess it is to help the cravings go away. That did not make me to happy because I knew he needed more than that-or at least counseling with it.-which he did not get.He took it off and on but with no regularity. (kinda like drinking!) I think some doctors are clueless as well but to try and find someone who knows about the decease is hard also. I live in Pittsburgh (north) if anyone knows of any good docs, please let me know. Many thanks, peace be with you all.Keep those thoughts coming.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Posts: 79
One more thing..he also sleeps alot (probably at least 10 hrs.+ a night) In bed around 8pm asleep by 8:30 -(usually snoring) before he gets up to go the bathroom during the night with the runs. More signs????
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
I think there is a rehab there (Gateway) run by Abraham J. Twerski who has written several very good books on addiction that I have read. Might be worth looking into. I think they probably run a program for family members,too.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
member, are you trying to convince yourself that he has a problem? I did it, too. It was only once I started taking care of me and my own recovery that I can now look back and plainly see that yes, he had/has all the symptoms of late stage alcoholism. And there is still nothing I can or could have done about it. I expressed my concern and my love and my willingness to be there for him through sobriety. He chose alcohol. I then had to choose what I was going to do.
Every morning I include a prayer for his sobriety, as well as all those who suffer. And if he does not choose sobriety, I pray he does not suffer.
What are your thoughts on what you will do if you figure out he is in late stage?
((()))
Every morning I include a prayer for his sobriety, as well as all those who suffer. And if he does not choose sobriety, I pray he does not suffer.
What are your thoughts on what you will do if you figure out he is in late stage?
((()))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Posts: 79
I guess I am just trying to fully understand if this is where he is at with this decease. I am at peace with myself and do have a devout faith in God-as I know there is nothing I can do or say to change his behavior. I can only change myself. I guess that is why I feel so sorry for such a waste of mind, body and soul. I know my husband struggles within with this as he is basically a good guy. He however does not see that in himself and I know alot of that is because of how he looks and feels. It is definitely the devil within working. My spirituality has soared with all of this (I guess good does come from bad) I also have a daughter (12yrs) who is recovering from anorexia-something that to me was and has been far worse than my AH's condition-after all he is an adult. She is doing much better and I know I focused on her much more than him in the past year. Since she is doing better, I guess that was when I started to notice him. Having said that, I know all of these trials in my life have made me a better person. Would I like it to be different? sure but life is never easy. I just hope and pray for both of them that there will be light at the end of the tunnel.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Posts: 79
LETTING GO TAKES LOVE
To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more
Remember: The time to love is short
just a poem i love and read often- peace
To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable,
but allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means
the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.
To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.
To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody,
but to try to become what I dream I can be.
To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less and love more
Remember: The time to love is short
just a poem i love and read often- peace
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Jacksonville, FL
Posts: 240
This thread is absolutely frightening. I too am worried that my husband may very well be in the late stages of alcoholism, or very close. He too doesn't eat for days on end when he is drinking and when he does, yikes, it ends up all over the floor and walls. His memory is absolutely shot, even when he is sober. And when he is drunk, he is completely deslusional. He was sober for 7 weeks and relapsed on Jan. 15th and it totally amazes me how fast he is progressing. I have no doubt that he will be dead or in jail in 6 months if he continues on this course.
And I don't know what course I should take realizing that he is going down hill so fast. The guilt is overwhelming, even though I know I can't change his destiny for him. How sad.
And I don't know what course I should take realizing that he is going down hill so fast. The guilt is overwhelming, even though I know I can't change his destiny for him. How sad.
Mom of Teen Alcoholic
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 23
Regarding the final stages (in this case, in my A-ex husband):
I can only speak from what I observed and from what I was told by my son and A-exhusbands' family:
Since I didn't live with him, the first thing I noticed (this, about five years before his death...he had been a practicing alcohol for about 15 years at this time) was that his normally slender physique became barrel-shaped through the abdomen. But, since he had just established a serious relationship with someone and he was in his late 30's, I initially thought that she was just feeding him well and he was gaining. I was wrong.
Shortly after that (a matter of months) I noticed that his mind was starting to go...I could have talked to him about something important regarding our son less than 24 hours earlier, but he would have NO recollection of it. Or worse,on occasion, he would act like I was trying to mislead him into thinking that we had a conversation that he thought we didn't (because he couldn't remember it.)
A-ex never had a drunk-driving ticket in his life, yet he was a practicing alcoholic for two decades. He did most of his drinking at home. He would not eat while drinking, either.
Sometime between five and four years before he died, A-ex switched from beer to vodka. I think he was looking for a more economical drunk, and he was getting more 'bang for his buck' from vodka. At this time, I think he started to realize that he had a problem with alcohol. I distinctly remember him quitting drinking once for about two weeks. At that time, he still could.
About three years before he died, his color started turning this awful yellowish/grayish tinge...and it worsened until he died. He started losing his hair, and it wasn't just the normal male-pattern baldness, he started losing it all over, and that worsened until he had just had a few patchy hairs on his head. He used to have a moustache, and he didn't even have that by the time he died. His eyebrows were faint memories.
The last two years before he died, he quit driving (I think he was afraid of getting pulled over, since he was ALWAYS under the influence) and he gradually lost touch with most of his family and ALL of his friends, since he had borrowed so much money from them all to maintain his alcoholism while he was unemployed.
The last year:
1. He was diagnosed an insulin-dependent diabetic. He never did learn how/care enough to properly manage his sugar before he died. He had killed off his pancreas with alcohol.
2. The untreated diabetes caused him vision problems and made him have trouble walking, and the continued vitamin B deficiency made him progressively weaker, physically.
3. He drank almost continuously. He no longer drank anything else besides alcohol. No milk, no juice, no coffee. When he did eat, it was always high-fat, high-sodium foods, and no fruit or vegetables.
4. His hands had a noticeable tremor. To speak to him, you would think that he was mentally impaired, and he WAS, just not from birth, it was due to the alcohol.
The last six months:
1. He rarely left the house. It caused him so much discomfort to walk, and too much embarrassment to be seen that way in public, that he just stayed home. A-ex's girlfriend made sure he had lots to drink and plenty of cigarettes and kept a roof over his head. If it wasn't for her, he would have been homeless.
2. His emotional affect became very flat. Nothing made him feel a lot of anything one way or the other...something funny maybe brought a momentary smile to his face, when, years earlier, it would have prompted prolonged, delighted laughter. You could tell when you looked in his eyes that he appeared to be somewhere 'far away'...He only spoke when directly addressed, as if simple conversation itself was too much of an effort.
3. He lost about 50 pounds. He retained the barrel-shaped abdomen, but his arms and legs grew increasingly thin.
4. He could not sleep. According to BS, he would doze off after drinking, but then would wake up every few hours and drink some more. No amount of sleep was restful. It was clear to even the most casual observer by now that he was seriously ill.
At the very end, he suffered two bouts of seizures, and eventually the cardiac arrest that lead to his death. He was 42 years old.
Like some other posters mentioned, my A-ex was, also, at one time, quite a handsome man...but too see how quickly he went downhill, especially those last five years...it was really sad....
I can only speak from what I observed and from what I was told by my son and A-exhusbands' family:
Since I didn't live with him, the first thing I noticed (this, about five years before his death...he had been a practicing alcohol for about 15 years at this time) was that his normally slender physique became barrel-shaped through the abdomen. But, since he had just established a serious relationship with someone and he was in his late 30's, I initially thought that she was just feeding him well and he was gaining. I was wrong.
Shortly after that (a matter of months) I noticed that his mind was starting to go...I could have talked to him about something important regarding our son less than 24 hours earlier, but he would have NO recollection of it. Or worse,on occasion, he would act like I was trying to mislead him into thinking that we had a conversation that he thought we didn't (because he couldn't remember it.)
A-ex never had a drunk-driving ticket in his life, yet he was a practicing alcoholic for two decades. He did most of his drinking at home. He would not eat while drinking, either.
Sometime between five and four years before he died, A-ex switched from beer to vodka. I think he was looking for a more economical drunk, and he was getting more 'bang for his buck' from vodka. At this time, I think he started to realize that he had a problem with alcohol. I distinctly remember him quitting drinking once for about two weeks. At that time, he still could.
About three years before he died, his color started turning this awful yellowish/grayish tinge...and it worsened until he died. He started losing his hair, and it wasn't just the normal male-pattern baldness, he started losing it all over, and that worsened until he had just had a few patchy hairs on his head. He used to have a moustache, and he didn't even have that by the time he died. His eyebrows were faint memories.
The last two years before he died, he quit driving (I think he was afraid of getting pulled over, since he was ALWAYS under the influence) and he gradually lost touch with most of his family and ALL of his friends, since he had borrowed so much money from them all to maintain his alcoholism while he was unemployed.
The last year:
1. He was diagnosed an insulin-dependent diabetic. He never did learn how/care enough to properly manage his sugar before he died. He had killed off his pancreas with alcohol.
2. The untreated diabetes caused him vision problems and made him have trouble walking, and the continued vitamin B deficiency made him progressively weaker, physically.
3. He drank almost continuously. He no longer drank anything else besides alcohol. No milk, no juice, no coffee. When he did eat, it was always high-fat, high-sodium foods, and no fruit or vegetables.
4. His hands had a noticeable tremor. To speak to him, you would think that he was mentally impaired, and he WAS, just not from birth, it was due to the alcohol.
The last six months:
1. He rarely left the house. It caused him so much discomfort to walk, and too much embarrassment to be seen that way in public, that he just stayed home. A-ex's girlfriend made sure he had lots to drink and plenty of cigarettes and kept a roof over his head. If it wasn't for her, he would have been homeless.
2. His emotional affect became very flat. Nothing made him feel a lot of anything one way or the other...something funny maybe brought a momentary smile to his face, when, years earlier, it would have prompted prolonged, delighted laughter. You could tell when you looked in his eyes that he appeared to be somewhere 'far away'...He only spoke when directly addressed, as if simple conversation itself was too much of an effort.
3. He lost about 50 pounds. He retained the barrel-shaped abdomen, but his arms and legs grew increasingly thin.
4. He could not sleep. According to BS, he would doze off after drinking, but then would wake up every few hours and drink some more. No amount of sleep was restful. It was clear to even the most casual observer by now that he was seriously ill.
At the very end, he suffered two bouts of seizures, and eventually the cardiac arrest that lead to his death. He was 42 years old.
Like some other posters mentioned, my A-ex was, also, at one time, quite a handsome man...but too see how quickly he went downhill, especially those last five years...it was really sad....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: by the ocean
Posts: 2
i believe that my son is in the beginning or in end stage..he drinks vodka, has gone to work 'trashed" (his words) has trouble swallowing, bleeds bright red blood from the rectum, has stomach pains, eats tums by the bottle.... throws up and i believe has thrown up blood, he has detoxed outside of a hospital several times and it was hell...he was almost at organ shutdown once i know of...he has had 4 rehabs....a handsome 34 year old man who is showing the wear and tear in his face and body....and his soul.....i am beyond sadness....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,351
A trip to the doctor and some blood tests will give you the answers you need,,,sounds like Liver---did you think he could drink like this forever and not get sick? Alcoholics with liver/pancrease-disease-die a painful death-it is the worst......ACT NOW
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