He lasted 12 days
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 409
He lasted 12 days
That's it. That is the longest he has gone at home, without being in some sort of facility. I was waiting for the shoe to drop, in all honesty. I really think I'm over him, not just because he drank last night....just because the drinking had killed my feelings long before this last attempt at sobriety. Now, I don't think it matters whether he finds sobriety or not, I want out either way. This really sucks. I'm sad. And mad. Maybe even a little glad, who knows?
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Yeah, I know what you mean. Mine holds the record at 16 days out of a rehab before picking up. After you go through this so many times, you just get to the point that you have no more to give. I sometimes wonder if the urge to drink is so overwhelming that they give into it or if they simply don't want to make the sacrifices and do the hard work to get sober.
It is really sad when they start up so soon after getting out of treatment. Maybe they don't take what they learn seriously enough or maybe they are too weak to fight it. I was totally devastated the second time my AH came out of rehab and relapsed big time. I took it personally. The next time around, I told one of his counselors I knew he wasn't going to make it even before he was released. I saw and heard too many red flags.
All you can do is cut your losses. All the emotions you have are to be expected. When I start getting mad about the whole mess, I make a conscious decision to focus on the glad part of leaving. After all, we can only save ourselves, can't we? And that is something for which we can all be very, very glad.
It is really sad when they start up so soon after getting out of treatment. Maybe they don't take what they learn seriously enough or maybe they are too weak to fight it. I was totally devastated the second time my AH came out of rehab and relapsed big time. I took it personally. The next time around, I told one of his counselors I knew he wasn't going to make it even before he was released. I saw and heard too many red flags.
All you can do is cut your losses. All the emotions you have are to be expected. When I start getting mad about the whole mess, I make a conscious decision to focus on the glad part of leaving. After all, we can only save ourselves, can't we? And that is something for which we can all be very, very glad.
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Originally Posted by prodigal 
I sometimes wonder if the urge to drink is so overwhelming that they give into it or if they simply don't want to make the sacrifices and do the hard work to get sober.
Or both........I know that was the way it was for me the first time I quit smoking and the length of time I did it and how it effected the rest of my life was a drop in the bucket compared to the relationship that alcohol holds in the life for my AH and probably most of the SO's of the rest of members of this board.
I can feel your discouragement ...I'm so sorry. Be gentle with yourself and I'm glad you are here.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Dixie
Posts: 612
He doesn't enjoy drinking... it's no longer a choice... he HAS to drink. I'm sorry for you, but I'm even sorrier for him. Can you imagine living like this? But for the grace of God go I... Take care of you.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Originally Posted by tuffenuff
Well........I really don't know right now. I've got alot of thinking and deciding to do. And planning...and working...and saving $$$$.
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