Pinching myself
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Central Coast, CA
Posts: 77
Pinching myself
Weeeeellll... Not a surprise, on day 6 of his first dry spell in a really long time, my AH drank. As he hadn't been to a single meeting in 2 weeks I am not surprised. I had told him several times that if he wants to continue to live with me he must remain sober. Once I figured out that he was drinking (and he admitted 3 different times in different shades of truth) I told him to get in the car so I could take him to a nearby hotel for the night. and he did. I rented the room, got him inside it and told him to either get some sleep or if he wanted to be around people that he could go to the AA Fellowship literally just across the street from this hotel. I told him we'd talk in the morning when he was sober.
I told the hotel clerk that if he left his room she should call the cops because he is drunk, and then he would be in public - poor thing, I hope she wasn't scared - she was kind of on the young side.
He eventually walked home after they kicked him out for knocking on other guests doors and his brother came and got him from the front porch to take him to his mom's house.
I held my boundary. Initially, long ago, I concocted this boundary with the motive that it would be such a painful punishment that he would want to change his ways.
Now it's just a stand, for me, and sanity. I'm really done with living that life.
I told the hotel clerk that if he left his room she should call the cops because he is drunk, and then he would be in public - poor thing, I hope she wasn't scared - she was kind of on the young side.
He eventually walked home after they kicked him out for knocking on other guests doors and his brother came and got him from the front porch to take him to his mom's house.
I held my boundary. Initially, long ago, I concocted this boundary with the motive that it would be such a painful punishment that he would want to change his ways.
Now it's just a stand, for me, and sanity. I'm really done with living that life.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Central Coast, CA
Posts: 77
Results
Weeelllll....
As a result of the consequences of his actions the AH has resumed his sobriety and now has a sponsor who he's known for years and is a fantastic human being with 15 years sobriety. Aside from checking into a full-blown rehab, I'm not so sure what more I could ask. I'm hopeful today - it's nice. One day at a time. He's done some things around the house today and is playing with the kids.
Friday night turned out to be so extreme because when he decided to relapse he actually had a prescription drug in his system that really reacted strongly with the alcohol - he was completely loopy (not his normal crabby-drunk self). It looks like it was a good scary lesson. He fell and gave himself a big bruised rib as a lasting reminder.
So far so good. Progress, not perfection.
As for me, I held another boundary today. I got sick of doing EVERYTHING to hold things together and stopped doing his laundry a couple of weeks ago. He did several loads a couple of days ago and was stunned this morning to discover that there is *another* pile of dirty laundry growing. I simply told him that fluff and fold is perhaps an option he could consider.
As a result of the consequences of his actions the AH has resumed his sobriety and now has a sponsor who he's known for years and is a fantastic human being with 15 years sobriety. Aside from checking into a full-blown rehab, I'm not so sure what more I could ask. I'm hopeful today - it's nice. One day at a time. He's done some things around the house today and is playing with the kids.
Friday night turned out to be so extreme because when he decided to relapse he actually had a prescription drug in his system that really reacted strongly with the alcohol - he was completely loopy (not his normal crabby-drunk self). It looks like it was a good scary lesson. He fell and gave himself a big bruised rib as a lasting reminder.
So far so good. Progress, not perfection.
As for me, I held another boundary today. I got sick of doing EVERYTHING to hold things together and stopped doing his laundry a couple of weeks ago. He did several loads a couple of days ago and was stunned this morning to discover that there is *another* pile of dirty laundry growing. I simply told him that fluff and fold is perhaps an option he could consider.
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