newwmnnow

Wow, I don't think I have cried this much in a long time. Just being able to tell you, complete strangers(which I don't really feel you are now), has really taken a load off and given me so much support. It's hard to know you are doing the right thing even when you really know it is. There are so many factors telling me that I'm screwing up-espcially myself. One reason that this is so hard for me to open up about to my family is because my dad is a recovering alcoholic. My mom left him because of it when I was a baby and she has really bad feelings about anyone who is with an alcoholic. I don't want her to blame me being with my husband on my dad. And I don't want my dad to think I'm blaming him in any way. My grandmother is also an alcoholic, active, and everyone ignores it. I have been told several times that I am not to confront her about it because she is too old to change and that no harm is being done to anyone. But I get the phone calls telling me how much she loves me and misses me and the tears that I don't live closer and how much she hates my mom for leaving my dad. I just get mixed messages about alcoholism. It's almost like you need to fix it quietly by yourself and so long as your not getting in trouble because of it than it's not "hurting" anyone.

I found out AH's court date is Monday so he won't be realeased over the weekend. We are going to go stay at a friends, though just to be safe. He has called so many times, it's not even funny. I accepted the first call to let him know that we won't be at the house and to reinforce that he wouldn't have his family back until he got help. Professional help, not "Oh, I've seen the light, Hallelujah!" I've heard that before and I don't want to hear it again.

Sunflower

What a difficult time for you--keep strong and safe! It does seem that after going through what you have-and other have--it is so easy to actually start hating the alcohol!! Better to hate that then the alcoholic I guess...Hang in there....

newwmnnow

sorry about the small letters, i know that's not appreciated, but my excuse is a one yr old on my lap occupying my other hand. i just wanted to say that i have benefitted so much and learned so much from all your posts. i don't comment on any of them because i feel too ignorant yet to be able to offer much good advice. i guess i'm still floundering. i did want to say though that to most of you, i can only imagine the pain you must be going through, and for so long. it makes my experiences seem petty by comparison. i appreciate the understanding, though, i have not been made to feel inferior in any way. thanks for that.

mallowcup

We're here for you. Stay safe and keep posting. Finding this place was no accident. Everything will be OK. Those tears have been building up a long time.

cmc

Hi,
What most of us share here is called ESH for Experience, Strength and Hope.
In twelve step meetings this is what others use to communicate how things are or were, what they did and how things are now. You already qualify for all three of these- everyone who comes here with a problem is already helping another without even realizing it sometimes. When a newcomer shares- it reinforces what the more experienced already know- and helps others to keep what they have.

Please keep sharing and feel free to participate when you are comfortable- you don't have to have any answers to identify with others and offer support!

LaTeeDa

Hey new, you're in pain. You can't compare that to others and say their pain is more and yours is less. Pain is pain. Sharing it with others does seem to take the edge off it, though, so please keep sharing. ((())) to you and your baby.

L

hope2bhappy

There you go! Good work!