Why I have been gone a week....
Royalty
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 366
Why I have been gone a week....
My brother died last monday. It was sudden, and a shock to all of us. He was not a drinker, or smoker. In good shape. He was 43.
I am having trouble reading anything on this board, it all seems so petty. I suppose this is my wake-up call in life....to stop sweating the small stuff, and live life to the fullest each day.
........
I am having trouble reading anything on this board, it all seems so petty. I suppose this is my wake-up call in life....to stop sweating the small stuff, and live life to the fullest each day.
........
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,351
So Sorry
I am so sorry for your loss.I lost my cousin when he was 40-he was like my brother to me and my best friend in the world.He went to sleep and died...healthy...autopsy showed nothing...so they said it was a cardiac sudden death--which happens more then we know.
I would have to say losing him was one of the most difficult times of my life. You will have to be careful now not to fall into a depression which will not be easy.I don't know your story-butplease go to a grief counsellor or a grief meeting--I didn't and should have.
It has been 7 years now--and it still cuts like a knife right through my heart. I found gardening helped..sounds stupid maybe to some-as I never was into it before.I planted flowers for each event that went by to remind me of him and it brought me peace....I will be praying for you...I am here.....frizzylynn
I would have to say losing him was one of the most difficult times of my life. You will have to be careful now not to fall into a depression which will not be easy.I don't know your story-butplease go to a grief counsellor or a grief meeting--I didn't and should have.
It has been 7 years now--and it still cuts like a knife right through my heart. I found gardening helped..sounds stupid maybe to some-as I never was into it before.I planted flowers for each event that went by to remind me of him and it brought me peace....I will be praying for you...I am here.....frizzylynn
Royalty
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 366
Thank you everyone.
frizzy, you said alot that I wasn't able to say a few days ago.
I don't think I'm depressed, just in shock, and pretty pissed off that so many people were supposed to go before him. I know when someone dies that we should not make them out to be a saint.....but I swear my brother was as close to that as he could get. I can't think of one person that did not like him. Even his ex-wife drove all the way to Alabama.
I think it would have been easier if he had been sick, if he had been overweight, if he had drank himself there, if he was older, if if if if......
One other note, he was an enabler for his oldest son (my nephew). My brother was just making arangements to get his son out of his second or third DUI.....he was also helping his stepson (who is only 17) to get out of some trouble.....and his daughter-in-law(married to the oldest son) he had already "fixed" the trouble she got into last year..... so I told the lot that they would now have to face their own problems, my brother would not be there to fix them all now.
It makes me think .... how much will I put up with....
frizzy, you said alot that I wasn't able to say a few days ago.
I don't think I'm depressed, just in shock, and pretty pissed off that so many people were supposed to go before him. I know when someone dies that we should not make them out to be a saint.....but I swear my brother was as close to that as he could get. I can't think of one person that did not like him. Even his ex-wife drove all the way to Alabama.
I think it would have been easier if he had been sick, if he had been overweight, if he had drank himself there, if he was older, if if if if......
One other note, he was an enabler for his oldest son (my nephew). My brother was just making arangements to get his son out of his second or third DUI.....he was also helping his stepson (who is only 17) to get out of some trouble.....and his daughter-in-law(married to the oldest son) he had already "fixed" the trouble she got into last year..... so I told the lot that they would now have to face their own problems, my brother would not be there to fix them all now.
It makes me think .... how much will I put up with....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,351
i always say the saying--only the good die young --had to start for a reason..I to remember thinking to myself--anyone anyone but him-why him?He was the only person on the face of the Earth I could really talk to.I was so bad I could not get out of my bed for 2 weeks-I don't think I will ever be the same he has left a huge void.What made it twice as hard is that within the next year and a half I lost 4 other family member-my Father-Stepmother-Aunt-Grandmother...all this while trying to deal with my AS--who I might add really did well--but he was in no position to handle the loss either.Then I got ill and became diagnosed with Lupus-had to leave my career-income--friends--but everything does have a purpose-I learned how much I am capable of living without-all I take for granted-and who my real friends were--but most important was to start enjoying the simple things in life. I hope you do well with this loss and my prayers are with you--just think of him and how upset he would be if he knew you were this upset-most likely the last thing he would have wanted.He sounds like he lead a good life filled with compassion for other-you must be very proud......Frizzylynn
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
I'm so sorry. It sure does change the planet. When my father died, even though it was a long time coming, it was surreal, it still is. I guess we always anticipate our parents going before us, we never anticipate a sibbling. I am so sorry. May I ask what happened?
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