what to do when they get out of rehab for the first time
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: charlotte, nc
Posts: 1
what to do when they get out of rehab for the first time
this is my first post on here...i know my roommate came here a lot for support before she decided to really take action...she entered rehab today for a 28-day inpatient program.....i just was wondering if anyone has any advice about handing things when she is out and what it might be like, what to expect, what anyones experiences were or are right now....
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: WA Rainforest
Posts: 209
Welcome to the forum. You can find a lot of support here. Good for your roommate, for finding support and going into rehab!
My ex AH never did get into a 28 day program. Our HMO would only pay for 10 days max at a time. He was in and out 6 times in less than 12 months. They just would not keep him long enough. So I don't really know what to do when they come home, he was always the same as when he went in. They're on edge, is what I hear, but you can't baby them. Her recovery is her responsibility, not yours. One thing that drove me nuts about his rehab programs was the family groups. They'd tell you that there was nothing you could do to help him, AND that everything you do or say keeps him drinking. well which is it???? either I'm powerless over him or not. I hated them and stopped going to family nights after the first one.
One thing you could do is try Al Anon groups while she's in rehab. Stopping the enabling is critical, and it's hard to know what's enabling when you're in the thick of the insanity. Now's your opportunity to help yourself.
My ex AH never did get into a 28 day program. Our HMO would only pay for 10 days max at a time. He was in and out 6 times in less than 12 months. They just would not keep him long enough. So I don't really know what to do when they come home, he was always the same as when he went in. They're on edge, is what I hear, but you can't baby them. Her recovery is her responsibility, not yours. One thing that drove me nuts about his rehab programs was the family groups. They'd tell you that there was nothing you could do to help him, AND that everything you do or say keeps him drinking. well which is it???? either I'm powerless over him or not. I hated them and stopped going to family nights after the first one.
One thing you could do is try Al Anon groups while she's in rehab. Stopping the enabling is critical, and it's hard to know what's enabling when you're in the thick of the insanity. Now's your opportunity to help yourself.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: By the sea
Posts: 415
Hi there ihvrcverngfrind. Nice to meet you.
I think if you read a lot of old posts (both here and in the alcoholic's room) you will probably find the information you are looking for.
Like Mushroom says, she'll probably be pretty edgy when she get's out. But what she does with her feelings (positive or negative) are HER decision. You are not responsible for her drinking.
If I were you, I would spend this month doing all the reading on the subject I could (here at SR, and go to bookstore/library too)...and then when she gets out, I'd be really supportive and respectful of the "tender" time she's going through without "babying" her.
Hope this helps
Let us know it goes.
I think if you read a lot of old posts (both here and in the alcoholic's room) you will probably find the information you are looking for.
Like Mushroom says, she'll probably be pretty edgy when she get's out. But what she does with her feelings (positive or negative) are HER decision. You are not responsible for her drinking.
If I were you, I would spend this month doing all the reading on the subject I could (here at SR, and go to bookstore/library too)...and then when she gets out, I'd be really supportive and respectful of the "tender" time she's going through without "babying" her.
Hope this helps
Let us know it goes.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
welcome! first days/weeks are tough - a lot of fear. try to keep things simple and give her the space she needs. be a good listener. don't judge or pry. oh yes, and take good care of yourself - alanon really helps me.
blessings, k
blessings, k
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