TimTim

that I have no friends. The loss of my driver's license is all my fault. I get that. My mom and step father are nice enough to give me rides to my classes but its up to me to get rides home. I got out of class at 9pm tonight. I just got home a half hr ago. I walked all the way home.

Along this extremely cold and frigid walk I realized that all the phone calls I made to my "freinds" that said they'd be able to give me rides home from class, were useless. If they answer they said they were too busy watching a movie or some other lame ass excuse.

I truely have NO friends. You might think I'm exagerating it, but I'm not. Ever since I lost my D.L. some friends jsut stopped talkign to me while others slowly panned out. Some even still ahve the guts to call me to help them with car troubles and then I never hear from them. Others started the process of losing my friendship ever since I have been getting ever so close to becoming a police officer. Kinda sucks.

I had a voicemail message when I got home tonight. It was a number from an old friend. He told me that this kid I used to be best friends is talking horrible stuff about me. Yes, I know its just talk but when it turns everyone else against me I cant just let it slide.

IDK, I feel realy lost, and alone. Its a horrible feeling knowing I live in a house full of ppl. and I feel all alone.

luv2all

There's all kinds of help available to you and I hope you'll take advantage and action. You can start learning to be your own best friend. This is what I needed to do, because I had no self-esteem and felt like I was lost in a forest, crying for help and no one was hearing me.

I heard an old timer say at an AA meeting, that "if the world ended and I was the only one left, then I'd damned well better like myself!!

luv2all

TimTim

I like the quote. Made me laugh a lil. I have fine self esteem its just my mind can only take so much. My mind seems like its racing all the time. Theres so much more to say I just don't know how to say it. Everyone else I have told took it out of context.

mallowcup

How'd you lose your license?

parentrecovers

i'm sorry you feel isolated. sometimes friends just have too many of their own issues/problems to be of any help?

keep posting, k

Cynay

You know when I woke up from the nightmare of the ending of my marriage I also realized I had no friends... The friends I shared my life with we "our" friends and I had given up the old girlfriends when I focused in on my husband and family. Lesson learned.

Over the last two years I have made some really amazing friends... Not very many that are close to me because I am very careful about who I want to stay in my life now. I had a friend that has been pretty close to me for 6 years ... this last year I had to make the decision to end that friendship because he was unhealthy for me. He gave me much more pain then happiness.... If there is not a balance in the friendship or Im working harder at it then the other and it is hurtful to me, there comes a time to end it. It took me along time to figure out that I have a choice, and I dont "have" to keep hurtful people in my life.

Maybe its just time for you to build a different support group?? One that has strong, supportive and loving friends.

luvmyfam

Sometimes if you try to look at things differently, things are different.
There is a whole world out there of good caring people. They aren't just going to wind up on your doorstep.
What do you like to do? sports? read? music? You'd be surprised how many groups and activities there are out there.
I felt the same way. I then realized that in 30 years I'm really going to regret it if look back at my life and went through it with this attitude. I joined a soccer team. I still play every week and have made some lifelong friends. Maybe there is something for you out there.
I hope you feel better.

lilac

(((TimTim))) Sorry you are going thru this right now. Sometimes when we need our "friends" and we see how they react, we realize what "true" friends they really are.......

I have had to work on myself first, because if I don't like myself, how am I gonna make healthy friends?? I have learned this over years of being let down and hurt by people that I considered my "friends". Good luck to you, and keep posting.

TimTim

Driving liek a moron. I had a bad night with fight with a certain girl I talked about b4 and got two seeding tix within an hr of eachother. So add that to my 9 points I had and I end up with 20 points.


I see what ur saying about finding somethign I like to do. that somethign was racing my car. At this point I am not aloud to.

dollydo

I'll start out by saying I am older than dirt...and you are young enough to my grandson....

When one is young it difficult to understand the difference between a friend vrs an acquaintance...as we pass through life we realize we have only a handfull of friends and a boat load of acquaintances...this process takes time...it is a learning process.

With that said, maybe it's time to find new hobbies,what else do you like to do aside from racing cars....obviously, speeding was not a good hobby..what else do you like to do? Something that would enhance you, your well being and at the same time make some new acquaintances, who, over time may turn into friends.

Sometimes, life can be lonely, yet, keep in mind nothing remains constant, it
either gets better or worse...so, what are you going to do to make it better?

Dolly

TimTim

Ok it seems according my my closest friend at the moment that I am a big baby and I am just attention crazed. Also she feels that I just need to lewt this whole thing go with my used to be best friend. Along with I shouldnt take anythign to heart.

I just dont get it. Every bone in my body hurts right now. All of u keep saying that u lose frineds thrughout life. Ok I lost all of them and this girl says that I'm being the a**h*le when the kid cant even acknowledge that what he said is wrong.

I'm going crazy, I want to run away.

dollydo

You don't have any control over what other people say...you know the truth, and, that is all that matters....

Must agree with your closest friend at the moment...let it go...why waste all
your time and energy on something that you have no control over...why not spend the time making a plan to move forward, to leave him/her in your dust..

In a month none of this will matter...it will be history...

You are too wrapped up in your underwear, time for a new pair...

TimTim

I see what you are saying dollydo but how can I let this go:

My friends and I were having dinner one Sunday and we started talking about differant schools and how much they cost. My "best friend" goes to a really smart engineering school mean while I'm going to a Community College. Within this conversation he says that If a school only costs $10000 or less a semester than it isnt worth going to school. He went on saying that If you go to a scholl thats cost that much or less then you must be a idiot anyway so you shouldn't bother going to school you just fail anyway.

How am I supposed to let that go? He hasnt said hes sorry, hasnt even acknowledged that what he said was wrong. I understand that he has is own opinion on things, but when something offends someone then you shoudl atleast have the honor to say that what he said was wrong and may have been out of line.

Also how am I supposed to be friends with someone when all they do is hide stuff from me? They hide how the one life line I used to have was coming home and he and his gf were going to go out wiht her when she got home for the weekend. Like atleast let me know shes coming home and not 2 weeks later.

I just don't know how I can be friends with ppl. that can't even respect the decisions that I make. they all say that Its BS reasons to be mad or angry at him. To them this might be small but to me its not and they should understand that being that they are my "friends".

dollydo

Maybe this person you considered a friend was only an acquaintance.

A true friendship is built on trust, true friends pick each other up, support each other.

As for school thing, his comments means nothing, one can go to Harvard and if one does not apply the education in the real world, one will go nowhere. It's not about how much you pay for the education, it's what you get out of it that matters.

Lastly, maybe "your lifeline" has moved on, if she wanted to see you, she was the one who should have contacted you..

TimTim

either way he should still say to me that what he said wa sout of line.

This morning at 3:30 am I recived a phone call from my "life line" girl as u put it. She said she woke up and had a bd feeling and decided to call me. Just hearing her voice made me feel a lot better. She told me that its ok to lose the friends that I have and that I will make new ones. She told me that I need to take last night as my turning point. I need to "start my new life" as she put it.

I woke up this morning feeling a lot better. I don't feel weighted down as I did.

mallowcup

Well, Tim, he isnt' going to say anything of the sort. Why ? Because he's the one going to the expensive school and it's a pathetic attempt to place himself into an esteemed postion above the people you call friends. Do you suppose anyone else was hurt or offended by what he said? The other reason you should blow him off is because he's wrong. What an idiot.
Would he walk up and tell me he's smarter than me? Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I went to a community college. That's right, it made no sense to me to spend 10 times the money to receive an RN degree, you see the boards are the same for all of us. Pass/Fail. I hope you'll find some other friends, maybe at the Community college. I can assure you, this fellow is not paying his own tuition. My best advice is to remember that Walt Disney was expelled permanently from school because the teahers said he'd never amount to anything, he was a daydreamer. Bruce Hornsby quit school in 9th grade. Michael Jordon was cut from the JV basketball team because he had no talent. After 20 years of Nursing, I've never had a single employer feel my diploma to check the grade of the paper. How about this, they guy is a jerk. I loved Community college.

TimTim

To answer your question about anyone else being offended. No one else was because his younger brother who I get along with and like to hang out with goes to the same school, and the other buddy in the group went to trade school and is working full time. Then comes his gf, well she wasnt offended bcuz shes just like him, and she goes to a state school. He would saty hes smarter than you. He lacks majorly in the common sense department, which when he said what he did I could of shot back with but I didn't bcuz I'm not that type of person. To try and offend my buddy who works he would say all the time that when he gets out of school he will make more money starting that what my other buddy makes after working at the same place for three yrs.

Either way I'm done being friends with him for the meantime, its just wierd to do it becuase I've been friends with him since we were three.

I jsut dont understand how my other frineds are down playing it saying that I'm the wrong one.

mallowcup

Knowing someone for a long time doesn't necessarily mean he's a long time friend. He's just someone you've known for a long time. Maybe your friends are just implying that you're putting way too much stock in this guys opinion.

TimTim

You might be right but in the begining my other friends agreed with me. They even said that he should say hes sorry, and now they tell me that he has no reason to say he os sorry and that I'm the wrong one.

They say that out group of friends is a split up now because of me. I'm not the one who said something offensive. I am perfectly cappable of hang out with all of them in a group. Its just that one kid then has to do stuff that he knows will send me over the age. Its just wrong and I feel that I don't have to put up with it. I just hate how hes putting the blame that is on him on to someone else.

mallowcup

Well, some people do that. Tim, it may not seem like it but sometimes our prayers get answered in ways we don't expect. He made a stupid comment that hurt your feelings in a way that your friends don't understand. I think they may be blaming you because they just want this dropped and they know you won't drop it. That doesn't make you wrong. Your true friends will call you. Anytime a group of friends hang together all the time, there are bound to be disagreements, pain in the butts and the same people turning the other cheek. Hey, you are standing on your core convictions, nothing wrong with that, You will find as a person with a strong sense of wrong and right, you will get your feelings hurt, Think of it this way, would you rather be you or the guy who says hurtful things to his friends and doesn't have the class to apologize? Being a stand up guy will leave you standing there alone on occassion, you will gain one thing, respect.