Doubts that alcoholism is a disease
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Booneyville USA
Posts: 246
Just thought of another theory: maybe it was the control in the bedroom that I liked?? My exh was always kind of blah and "whatever" in the bedroom. A was always in control--don't get me wrong. It was what I wanted too, but the way he held me, the way everything happened it was like he was reading my mind. I never had to tell him anything. Never had to ask for anything. That was probably the ONLY area of our relationship that was like that. he just KNEW how to react and what to do. I still miss the way he would hold me. We "fit" perfectly. He was the most comfortable person to cuddle with. My exh wasn't comfortable to lay against. I slept on my side, he slept on his. But A was comfortable. I can't sleep when he isnt here. (Don't miss the snoring tho'!!) I just can't get comfortable. Too bad he's an ass.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
i know, dobie....same way here. i kept thinking that a man that could make love like him had to have so much good in him. he was totally awesome, mentally, when we were making love. that was the only time he was mentally awesome.
the rest of the time i was in awe of his mentality.....like awwwwww chit!!!!! why's he acting like that!!!!!!
but during our intimate moments he WAS A DIFFERENT MAN. i never could figure that one out. he was so vulnerable during those moments and wonderful. then shortly after, and i'm talking maybe hours or even minutes, he switched back into the lunatic.
the rest of the time i was in awe of his mentality.....like awwwwww chit!!!!! why's he acting like that!!!!!!
but during our intimate moments he WAS A DIFFERENT MAN. i never could figure that one out. he was so vulnerable during those moments and wonderful. then shortly after, and i'm talking maybe hours or even minutes, he switched back into the lunatic.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
MALLOW....THAT IS SO DAMNED FUNNY..... that's it girls, the blood flow was re-directed and his brain was without fuel for the crappy-dappy-do-dah-day.
soooooo.......we get a huge supply of viagra, crush them up and put it in their morning coffee, noon tea, and evening pop. then, we keep them in a perpetual stage of excitement.....and, VOILIA......we now have a cured alcoholic.
mallow, you could make millions with this cure.
soooooo.......we get a huge supply of viagra, crush them up and put it in their morning coffee, noon tea, and evening pop. then, we keep them in a perpetual stage of excitement.....and, VOILIA......we now have a cured alcoholic.
mallow, you could make millions with this cure.
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: where the streets have no name
Posts: 1,078
Must reads
Ill quit tomorrow, Vernon Johnson
Love First Jeff Jay
I had to set boundaries for the sake of our daughters future, and my own health, and if you think about it, my AW healthy future. She refused to attend an intervention thus it is the negative consequences that may motivate her to seek recovery.
She says I abandoned her by not paying for her drinking activities. Basically the BLAME GAME standard operating policy for addicts.
Her life is still crap and getting worse WITHOUT me in it. She needs to realize ALCOHOL is the enemy and not the family that loves her.
It is VERY hard to let go and know someone you love is killing themselves. If you continue to enable, they very well may kill themself sooner.
Sleep tight
Ill quit tomorrow, Vernon Johnson
Love First Jeff Jay
I had to set boundaries for the sake of our daughters future, and my own health, and if you think about it, my AW healthy future. She refused to attend an intervention thus it is the negative consequences that may motivate her to seek recovery.
She says I abandoned her by not paying for her drinking activities. Basically the BLAME GAME standard operating policy for addicts.
Her life is still crap and getting worse WITHOUT me in it. She needs to realize ALCOHOL is the enemy and not the family that loves her.
It is VERY hard to let go and know someone you love is killing themselves. If you continue to enable, they very well may kill themself sooner.
Sleep tight
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Upper Kolobia
Posts: 153
Oh Boy, This Is Better Than The Old "Addicts in AA Meetings" Drama . . .
Lots of good stuff has come out, and I'd like to thank all the "Poster Children for Denial" who put their stuff out there for all of us to see when they refuse to acknowledge the obvious reality that alcoholism is a disease.
Kind of reminds me that there's still a lot of work to be done; trick is staying respectful per board guidelines . . . It was easier back doing family and group therapy because we could get right in someone's face without having to take care of their feelings (a time-honored codependent practice; wish I could share a therapeutic metaphor a mentor of mine was fond of).
Well, you guys have lots of company . . . There's a group out there I won't mention--even though they make me look like Shirley Temple in the "caustic" department--that insists the same thing; y'all feel free to investigate them although there's a lot of vitriol hurled at AA, and they charge for their services . . . There's even a PhD or two who've changed their minds, but honest, even though I have a lot of grad school experience, I don't give Phuds a carte blanche . . . There's a guy used to work at an institution south of here who's got one--in the hard sciences, no less--and he's been on the news a lot, insisting the Twin Towers were brought down by an inside job and not jet airplanes . . .
However, I'm old enough and sober enough to have read "I'll Quit Tomorrow" in its first printing, and it must be regarded as one of the seminal works on the matter.
Alcoholism is primary, progressive, predictable, and 100% fatal if untreated. That makes it a disease, period.
Just like tooth decay (known as dental caries in the trade).
Only it's not infectious, but is genetic in origin (like Huntington's Chorea and cystic fibrosis, also diseases).
Take it away, Dr. Drew . . .
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/ma...ticlekey=54633
Dr. Drew: First, let's understand what addiction is, if you're going to decide whether something is or is not an addiction. Addiction is a specific biological disorder of the reward systems of the brain that permanently alters the survival system and thus the motivational priorities.
More . . .
Member question: Can a person with alcohol addiction pass the gene to their offspring to be an alcoholic or will the offspring have a addiction to something else such as sex, drugs etc.?
Dr. Drew: The same gene or genes are responsible for all forms of addiction. Regardless of your manifestation of the addiction gene, you will have about a 50% probability of passing that on to your children. But remember, genes are not destiny, and what you are passing is the predisposition.
Dr. Drew: You don't have addiction if you don't have the gene. You can have bad habits and you can manifest abuse and you can hurt yourself. But you may not have the progressive disorder of addiction. Look carefully at your family history, however. There can be hidden clues: Were you adopted? Are your ancestors from Ireland, Scotland, Central Europe, or North American Indian? If so, beware.
Got me with that one Doc. I'm about 85% Scottish, and the rest Scandinavian . . . And even though I love my Highlander heritage and salute the cultures of the Irish and Native Americans, the incidence of alcoholism for those groups is higher than among my Jewish, Italian, or Greek friends . . .
Finally . . .
Dr. Drew: Once the switch has been thrown on this disease, it is forever active. It is a chronic disease marked by relapse. Unless they remain connected to a treatment process chronically, they are at risk for future relapse. Whether triggered by life stressors or the result of re-exposure to an addictive chemical, there is once again a need for treatment.
Keep coming back . . .
Kind of reminds me that there's still a lot of work to be done; trick is staying respectful per board guidelines . . . It was easier back doing family and group therapy because we could get right in someone's face without having to take care of their feelings (a time-honored codependent practice; wish I could share a therapeutic metaphor a mentor of mine was fond of).
Well, you guys have lots of company . . . There's a group out there I won't mention--even though they make me look like Shirley Temple in the "caustic" department--that insists the same thing; y'all feel free to investigate them although there's a lot of vitriol hurled at AA, and they charge for their services . . . There's even a PhD or two who've changed their minds, but honest, even though I have a lot of grad school experience, I don't give Phuds a carte blanche . . . There's a guy used to work at an institution south of here who's got one--in the hard sciences, no less--and he's been on the news a lot, insisting the Twin Towers were brought down by an inside job and not jet airplanes . . .
However, I'm old enough and sober enough to have read "I'll Quit Tomorrow" in its first printing, and it must be regarded as one of the seminal works on the matter.
Alcoholism is primary, progressive, predictable, and 100% fatal if untreated. That makes it a disease, period.
Just like tooth decay (known as dental caries in the trade).
Only it's not infectious, but is genetic in origin (like Huntington's Chorea and cystic fibrosis, also diseases).
Take it away, Dr. Drew . . .
http://www.medicinenet.com/script/ma...ticlekey=54633
Dr. Drew: First, let's understand what addiction is, if you're going to decide whether something is or is not an addiction. Addiction is a specific biological disorder of the reward systems of the brain that permanently alters the survival system and thus the motivational priorities.
More . . .
Member question: Can a person with alcohol addiction pass the gene to their offspring to be an alcoholic or will the offspring have a addiction to something else such as sex, drugs etc.?
Dr. Drew: The same gene or genes are responsible for all forms of addiction. Regardless of your manifestation of the addiction gene, you will have about a 50% probability of passing that on to your children. But remember, genes are not destiny, and what you are passing is the predisposition.
Dr. Drew: You don't have addiction if you don't have the gene. You can have bad habits and you can manifest abuse and you can hurt yourself. But you may not have the progressive disorder of addiction. Look carefully at your family history, however. There can be hidden clues: Were you adopted? Are your ancestors from Ireland, Scotland, Central Europe, or North American Indian? If so, beware.
Got me with that one Doc. I'm about 85% Scottish, and the rest Scandinavian . . . And even though I love my Highlander heritage and salute the cultures of the Irish and Native Americans, the incidence of alcoholism for those groups is higher than among my Jewish, Italian, or Greek friends . . .
Finally . . .
Dr. Drew: Once the switch has been thrown on this disease, it is forever active. It is a chronic disease marked by relapse. Unless they remain connected to a treatment process chronically, they are at risk for future relapse. Whether triggered by life stressors or the result of re-exposure to an addictive chemical, there is once again a need for treatment.
Keep coming back . . .
Last edited by concolor1; 02-21-2007 at 06:08 AM. Reason: typos and grammatical nuance
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: where the streets have no name
Posts: 1,078
Dr Drew says a lot of good stuff, BUT to my understanding, alcoholism does not need a gene to occur. studies in identical twins have shown a significant increase in alcoholism despite the twins growing up in different environments, thus there definitely can be a genetic component.
alcoholism may also be a primary disease; social, psychologic, environmental,........... multifactorial.
The big problem is what happens once "that switch is thrown"
People can and do recover every day............. so don't lose hope and have a nice weekend.
alcoholism may also be a primary disease; social, psychologic, environmental,........... multifactorial.
The big problem is what happens once "that switch is thrown"
People can and do recover every day............. so don't lose hope and have a nice weekend.
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