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"If he could only be the man I know he is..." Thank you Spring for this post! I needed to read this today:)
Originally Posted by spring
(Post 1061583)
I see a reaccuring theme that reminded me of something a therapist told me years ago. I kept saying "But I know what a good person he is inside, if he could just be the man I know he could be", ect., ect.,..... My therapist said "It is not wise to base a relationship on loving someone's "potential." We ALL have the potential to be many things. It is WHO we ARE TODAY that needs to be acknowledged. Do you love who he is TODAY?, because that is the only person you can be absolutely sure he is willing to be and that may be who you will be trying to "love" forever." WOW. That one paragraph changed my WHOLE life. I have been divorced from him for ten years and he is still, as of yet, hasn't become the person "I knew he could be." |
Wow Spring! I love reading these incredible words of wisdom. They're so helpful, especially when I'm feeling down. |
Awesome.....a very wise threapist... |
It's heartbreaking yet a strong testament to a loving and supportive heart to see all what a person can be if only they could see it themselves. I'm an alcoholic in early recovery and I'm well aware of the potential I wasted in the last 20 years. I see so much in my still drinking/drugging ex but hey, that's his gig not mine. He has the right to live or throw away his life...just as I did. It took a lot of pain and slamming doors for me to see the light but I am grateful I have. I pray for the man I loved that Spirit will find a way into his soul. His world is no longer a space I can share. |
The next step for me in this was to see my part. It is arrogant of me to decide what someone else's "potential" is. That is a fantasy on my part. The other person is a human being, just like me, doing the best they can. What has been a blessing is realizing all the untapped potential in me. |
I don't think I've ever met anyone with unrealized potential lol If someone sits around wating for me to fill mine, they'll be waiting quite a while. I could do a lot more with my life but I'm very tired and very busy posting on the internet yuk yuk yuk But it's true. Betting on someone's potential as opposed to what they are is a bad idea. |
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