i guess it's about that time again.....
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: nowheresville
Posts: 872
Oh they are so dramatic.
Cat
Cat
Originally Posted by embraced2000 
he's kickin it up a notch....just called and said....pray for me tonight, this will be my last night on this earth. remember that i always loved you.....then hung up.
i'm getting that panicy feeling. i don't even know where he is.
i'm getting that panicy feeling. i don't even know where he is.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: nowheresville
Posts: 872
No absolutely not!
Originally Posted by embraced2000
he has threatened this so many times....but we have all seen from these boards that they actually do it. i've got to let go and let god. he is in gods hands.
i'm thinking....do i call the county i think he is in, and tell the law?
i'm thinking....do i call the county i think he is in, and tell the law?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
uh-oh......i don't know if my contribution would be "G" rated today....i better wait a little before i throw any suggestions in the hat.
lemme seeeeee.....it is our goal to rid the world
geezzzz....see what i mean? i just can't do it right now......gotta have some ovaltine and a donut. and then some sweet tea. and then a nerve pill. then a bubble bath and candles.
one more try.....it is the mission of AMES to provide comfort and understanding to all families effected by alcoholism...we do everything it takes, even shoving......
oh damn! i just can't do it nowwwww.
lemme seeeeee.....it is our goal to rid the world
geezzzz....see what i mean? i just can't do it right now......gotta have some ovaltine and a donut. and then some sweet tea. and then a nerve pill. then a bubble bath and candles.
one more try.....it is the mission of AMES to provide comfort and understanding to all families effected by alcoholism...we do everything it takes, even shoving......
oh damn! i just can't do it nowwwww.
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Originally Posted by embraced2000
he just called again. had a favor. wants me to collect his unemployment checks and send them to him. right. uh-huh. sure thing, bucko. i'll get right on that one deary.
) to see (and believe) how these addicts operate....it really IS all about them;at least in a practical sense. (How they feel ---avoid it,so the point is moot while they are active IMHO is out of the picture with my observation here.)Here's my idea about what's going on. He sweet talks and tries to see if you are losing enough of your anger to be emotionally manipulated. HE needs something (a favor) and
Originally Posted by embraced2000
he says he left her because he
Maybe I've fianlly just gotten cynical (that would be a great step for me)....this may not be what is happening in your case,but I am starting to finally try to hear the QUACK with out the heart engaged. No doubt he loves you (as much as he can now and did before he became so sick) but I think he is probably like the rest caught in their illness just scrambling to keep their heads above water and for an addict that means being able to have access to his DOC.
Your guy has probably been kicked out, needs $ and can't even collect the check. I hope he is getting to his bottom.
As usual....you sound very good. You have been an inspriation. I hope whatever happens (or doesn't)that it does not destroy your serenity.
Keep us posted.
p.s. Hope this doesn't come out sounding wrong...it has been a "lightbulb moment" for me that I finally see about myself and AH. If it comes across "too strong" it is because I am also speaking this to MYSELF!
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
good morning gals!
I'm on board with the rescue team...but I have another thought...I say we take the job- get the tshirts, truck and emergency gear all set up get on board...then we all call in sick and take a codie vacation. We'll be looking good- have the truck stocked with treats and things to pamper ourselves.
We can use the break! Let somebody else do the rescue work and we get all the fun...how's that for recovery heh?
Jeri...the shoving part is pretty good...but not worth breaking a fingernail over!
I'm on board with the rescue team...but I have another thought...I say we take the job- get the tshirts, truck and emergency gear all set up get on board...then we all call in sick and take a codie vacation. We'll be looking good- have the truck stocked with treats and things to pamper ourselves.
We can use the break! Let somebody else do the rescue work and we get all the fun...how's that for recovery heh?
Jeri...the shoving part is pretty good...but not worth breaking a fingernail over!
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
hi pick....yup, it's what it is......quacking.
he even told me that he did what he had to do because i wouldn't take him....that i had him on the streets for over two years now....out there scrambling....
when i told him i didn't kick out a good hunting dog, i kicked out a rogue that was constantly biting me (abusive), chitting all over me, then laughing cause i stunk (emotional abuse), would never bring home the anything from the hunt (wouldn't work), and was constantly eating bad food that made it sick(drinking)........he told me.....well, you put too many demands on me.
excuse meeeee!!!!!! since when is expecting not to be abused, expecting a paycheck, expecting to be in a respectful relationship considered too demanding. this is just how he thinks in active alcoholism.
he then proceeded to tell me that his new woman and him got along terrificly...that she put no demands on him and he was very, very nice to her, and that in fact, she stomped all over him. i busted out laughing on that one.
oh, and he also said that ever since i started in al-anon, i was a hard-a$$ that just thought about myself and kicked his butt out to fend for himself. is that love????......he asked.
this is the same quacking i have listened to for years, and i always gave it one more try.....now, it just sounds so ridiculous to me.....sounds really sad, because i swear, it sounds like he has developmental disabilities.
this is your brain on alcohol. it is sad.
he even told me that he did what he had to do because i wouldn't take him....that i had him on the streets for over two years now....out there scrambling....
when i told him i didn't kick out a good hunting dog, i kicked out a rogue that was constantly biting me (abusive), chitting all over me, then laughing cause i stunk (emotional abuse), would never bring home the anything from the hunt (wouldn't work), and was constantly eating bad food that made it sick(drinking)........he told me.....well, you put too many demands on me.
excuse meeeee!!!!!! since when is expecting not to be abused, expecting a paycheck, expecting to be in a respectful relationship considered too demanding. this is just how he thinks in active alcoholism.
he then proceeded to tell me that his new woman and him got along terrificly...that she put no demands on him and he was very, very nice to her, and that in fact, she stomped all over him. i busted out laughing on that one.
oh, and he also said that ever since i started in al-anon, i was a hard-a$$ that just thought about myself and kicked his butt out to fend for himself. is that love????......he asked.
this is the same quacking i have listened to for years, and i always gave it one more try.....now, it just sounds so ridiculous to me.....sounds really sad, because i swear, it sounds like he has developmental disabilities.
this is your brain on alcohol. it is sad.
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Originally Posted by embraced2000
this is the same quacking i have listened to for years, and i always gave it one more try.....now, it just sounds so ridiculous to me.....sounds really sad, because i swear, it sounds like he has developmental disabilities.
this is your brain on alcohol. it is sad.
this is your brain on alcohol. it is sad.
Yep.......not a thing wrong with YOUR thinking!!! It is sad,but like you said...no reason for us to put up with the things coming from a pickled mind.
p.s. I like that vacation idea someone mentioned,especially now.....it is C_O_L_D here today!!!!!!
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Southern Wisconsin
Posts: 378
embraced, it's so sad to me reading about this man and you and the other woman.
xabf once said that he told his ex-wife the reason he wanted to be with me was because "she digs me". He also told me that I was tender (compared to the ex) and the nicest person he ever met. He also used to say that he and I were compatible, that I was perhaps his soul mate, that he loved me, etc.
You and I know very well (in hindsight for me) that these people simply move on to a more suitable enabler. Someone who is naive to the disease (as I certainly was). They'll obvisouly keep anyone in their circle if they can. Play on any available emotion. Sometimes, it seems, even anger.
It's confusing to me that they even need people in their lives. If you want to drink why can't you just be alone!? Actually I have many relatives who do just that. Yes they are alcoholics but they live alone, they have no wives, children or girlfriends. They work then spend their time in bars. They rarely see family. I have new respect for these men. As sick as they may be they are choosing to simply be what they are and not dragging someone else down with them.
xabf once said that he told his ex-wife the reason he wanted to be with me was because "she digs me". He also told me that I was tender (compared to the ex) and the nicest person he ever met. He also used to say that he and I were compatible, that I was perhaps his soul mate, that he loved me, etc.
You and I know very well (in hindsight for me) that these people simply move on to a more suitable enabler. Someone who is naive to the disease (as I certainly was). They'll obvisouly keep anyone in their circle if they can. Play on any available emotion. Sometimes, it seems, even anger.
It's confusing to me that they even need people in their lives. If you want to drink why can't you just be alone!? Actually I have many relatives who do just that. Yes they are alcoholics but they live alone, they have no wives, children or girlfriends. They work then spend their time in bars. They rarely see family. I have new respect for these men. As sick as they may be they are choosing to simply be what they are and not dragging someone else down with them.
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Originally Posted by sketscher
p.s.
Pick-a-name, it's -6° here!!
Pick-a-name, it's -6° here!!
Brrrr...I'm a little south of Cleveland,so we usually get your weather (at least Chicago's) the next day. At least we are still in the +'s,although just barely!!!!!! It's supposed to be -1 soon. (So much for our wild,non-winter!)
Stay warm!!
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Jeri I will echo the sentiments of so many others. You simply deserve to be loved wholly and completely for the wonderful self you are. This man is soooo broken. I truly feel for him...as I feel for my ex simply because they are miserable, lonely and in tremendous pain (as I was when actively alcoholic). My ex is an addiction similar to the other noxious substances I have attached myself too. He is no good for me. He gave me so much more pain and confusion than love. All of us can be so cruel in our fear and misery...we hurt others when ourselves our hurting. I did right by my ex..and this I know. I gave him the option to walk a new path of sobriety and he didn't want it. That is his choice. I know I have to get away from him at all costs because I still feel love for him...which isn't as problematic as the addiction/attachment I still feel. I can still love from a safe distance but allowing him anymore space in my life physically (by phone or in person) is a setback to my own recovery. He has taken all I have been willing to give. I don't want to give anymore of myself..it's too costly. I don't even like that he knows what's going on in my world as a result of his work situation with my roommate. It bothers me tremendously. Soon I will be leaving this province and he will no longer have any hold on me whatsoever. He made his choice therefore he simply should not have anymore access to my life and love. Geri the only way you are going to get better is to cut off all contact. There MUST be a solution to the phone thing...there must be some solution so that you can protect yourself.
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