Need to Vent
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Reading, PA
Posts: 24
Need to Vent
I am slightly irritated at the moment, besides the fact that I having my own issues right now, and I constantly beat myself up. I hate the fact that I feel that I am the cause of my husbends bad moods (or atleast I think he is in a bad mood). Today is 16 days for him, so I thought I would give him some encouragment and let him know that....his response....it's one day at a time, so why even count it???
Why does this bother me, should it **** me off that I seem to care more about his "soberness" then he does, but then again he doesn't do anything about it. This is really taking it's toll on me, I didn't picture this. It is just incredibly frustrating, I feel like I am just this hugh pain in the a** to him. Im trying really hard to leave him alone not hang over him like I usually do, but I see it a different way then he does. I love him, I like to be around him (when he is sober), and he likes his space, but it's hard I am constantly looking for acceptance from him. (don't get it from my dad). I need to start accepting myself, but the first step is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard.
Why does this bother me, should it **** me off that I seem to care more about his "soberness" then he does, but then again he doesn't do anything about it. This is really taking it's toll on me, I didn't picture this. It is just incredibly frustrating, I feel like I am just this hugh pain in the a** to him. Im trying really hard to leave him alone not hang over him like I usually do, but I see it a different way then he does. I love him, I like to be around him (when he is sober), and he likes his space, but it's hard I am constantly looking for acceptance from him. (don't get it from my dad). I need to start accepting myself, but the first step is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
I think it was very nice of you
to want to celebrate his success with him. If he couldn't accept your kind gesture, then it is his loss. Just because he won't accept or acknowledge the goodness in you, doesn't mean it isn't there. It just means he isn't receptive of it. Two of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten are:
1) Spend yourself wisely.
And...
2) Be particular.
I spent years letting myself be the convenience store wife, mother and friend. Somewhere along the line, I learned to close my convenience store doors and live life on my terms. For me, it's much, much better that way.
Peace,
Gabe
1) Spend yourself wisely.
And...
2) Be particular.
I spent years letting myself be the convenience store wife, mother and friend. Somewhere along the line, I learned to close my convenience store doors and live life on my terms. For me, it's much, much better that way.
Peace,
Gabe
Last edited by Gabe; 04-15-2003 at 05:59 PM.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Oh I love Gabe's answer and am going to write that down.
Sunshine, Melody Beattie once said that there is nothing worse than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give.
I do it all the time. I treat someone nice, and they hardly notice. I say something encouraging and get put down for "pushing". I say nothing and am told that I am not "supportive".
. So now, I just say anything I want and if they don't like it, I still like me.
Melody Beattie goes on to say that "they" do not hold the key to our happiness, WE do. And she is so right. We held it all the time and just kept thinking that our happiness depended on another person. It doesn't.
So take that happiness key and unlock your heart and just do something extra nice for yourself.
P.S. Can you tell that I am reading ALL my Melody Beattie books again? That woman sure does make ME feel good.
.
Sunshine, Melody Beattie once said that there is nothing worse than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give.
I do it all the time. I treat someone nice, and they hardly notice. I say something encouraging and get put down for "pushing". I say nothing and am told that I am not "supportive".
. So now, I just say anything I want and if they don't like it, I still like me.Melody Beattie goes on to say that "they" do not hold the key to our happiness, WE do. And she is so right. We held it all the time and just kept thinking that our happiness depended on another person. It doesn't.
So take that happiness key and unlock your heart and just do something extra nice for yourself.
P.S. Can you tell that I am reading ALL my Melody Beattie books again? That woman sure does make ME feel good.
.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Reading, PA
Posts: 24
You guys are right.....
This is me, I am a kind, loving and encouraging person...and I like to share that with him, but if he won't accept it, there is nothing I can do.... I staring to get a hold of this let go and let god concept, it's a hard thing to fight today when you want to go back to yesterday.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
