Fading Fast
 

I am not in a good place right now, My husbend has not drank in (2) weeks, after relapsing 5 or 6 times out of rehab recently and we are both unemployed and living with my parents which for me is not a good thing having issues with my father. I am constanly on my guard waiting for something to go wrong, for him to drink, etc. He has not gone to any meetings and says that he has more on his mind right now then AA. I am an emotional wreck. When it comes to codependancy I wrote the book, I feel more like his watcher then his wife. I feel neglected and unloved, unappreciated. We have only been married for 10 months, and I don;t want to live the rest of my life like this. I try so hard to focus on myself and I always screw up and fall back, and make him my priority. There aren't many Al-Anon meetings in my area, and im not so sure what I should do.

I am glad you came here.

Living with your parents must be tough but you can take control back of your own life. His drinking unfortunately is not something you can control. You can put one foot in front of the other and get a job for yourself, protect your funds and one day at a time work your way out. With him or without him.

If there are ANY Alanon meetings in your area I would suggest that. There are some powerposts at the top of this and the Naranon forums that are a good read. There are books at the library..Melody Beattie..Alanon literature. Hnang around here and share with us. There are people at all stages of recovery here.

Welcome and make yourself at home!

Hugs,
JT

Hey Sunshine,

Glad your here. I have to agree with JT. Concentrate on yourself, getting you started. It will open some more doors for you! .

I know it must be very stressful living with your parents with him liable to "go off" at any time, but try to remember, no matter what he does YOU had NO control over it. I have only now begun to try to explain to my Mom that I have had to let go of my husbands actions and the worry about them because I can't change them. He is grown and will make his own choices. Don't know where you stand with your parents, but I have found it helpful in relieving the stress when we all get together. I don't feel like his actions "reflect" on me any more because she understands more now. (so do I)

Hang in there and keep posting. There are lots of great people here that have wonderful advice.......and are super listeners.

Constant

(((Sunshine!))))))
 

Welcome! So glad you found this site. It sounds like you've really been through it lately. Take some time out and take care of yourself!

Lyn

Welcom Sunshine!
 

A nod is as good as a wink, and this board can be as good as an Alanon meeting if that is all you can manage. I agree with all of the suggestions above. Focus on making your life better, one day at a time. And remember that today is not necessarily what your tomorrows will be made of.
Peace,
Gabe

with ya sista'
 

I'm right there with you! I feel like these messages could be written by me sometimes! Sometimes you just need to dig a bit to find a meeting.. even if you go to an on-line chat meeting.. that's something :)
Good luck!