Im trying to let go but ....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: london
Posts: 13
Im trying to let go but ....
I posted a few days ago about my AH who was going to disappear .....Ive not contacted him or played into his hands any further until today when I recieved a phone call from him . He announced that he had taken 60 opiate pain killers , he wouldn't tell me where he was .
I really wanted to "let go " and not get "hooked " by him but what could I do ..... I told him that I was phoning the police and I did .
The police arrived at my home and took a description and details about my AH .The were able to get hold of him on his cell ,the police officer talked to him . He told the policeman that today would be his last .....they talked for a while and the policeman convinced him that they should meet .
They picked him up and have taken him to hospital where they are going to make sure he's ok .....they have said that he will be evaluated by a physichatrist tommorrow .
HOWEVER , little did I know a friend had seen him in a state in a local park , they had talked and he told her how he felt about ending his life . She searched him and took a carrier bag with over 70 painkillers in . She took them home .
SO......he obviously didn't take 60 , he only picked up his prescription last week which is for 80 .
He was trying to get my attention ......He got it ! If i had not made that phone call and the worse happened I would never forgiven myself . We have a 4 year old daughter together and i couldn't do nothing .
BUT HE HOOKED ME AGAIN DIDNT HE
Im trying so hard to let go and not save him ....
xxxalison30xxxxxxxx
I really wanted to "let go " and not get "hooked " by him but what could I do ..... I told him that I was phoning the police and I did .
The police arrived at my home and took a description and details about my AH .The were able to get hold of him on his cell ,the police officer talked to him . He told the policeman that today would be his last .....they talked for a while and the policeman convinced him that they should meet .
They picked him up and have taken him to hospital where they are going to make sure he's ok .....they have said that he will be evaluated by a physichatrist tommorrow .
HOWEVER , little did I know a friend had seen him in a state in a local park , they had talked and he told her how he felt about ending his life . She searched him and took a carrier bag with over 70 painkillers in . She took them home .
SO......he obviously didn't take 60 , he only picked up his prescription last week which is for 80 .
He was trying to get my attention ......He got it ! If i had not made that phone call and the worse happened I would never forgiven myself . We have a 4 year old daughter together and i couldn't do nothing .
BUT HE HOOKED ME AGAIN DIDNT HE
Im trying so hard to let go and not save him ....
xxxalison30xxxxxxxx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: london
Posts: 13
this is the first time he has ever threatened something like this .The thing that is fustrating is that he said he HAD DONE IT but .......he had not because a friend had taken the pills
xxxxalison30 xxx
xxxxalison30 xxx
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
I think you did the exact right thing.....
If My ex or anyone for that matter said they were going to kill themselves I would call the police too, that is not something you play around with in my opinion.
Hooked you back in? I dont know about that, he lied and you responded in the best way... you did not beg, promise to go back to him or manuplate anything....I dont think you got hooked, if anything he now knows you will not put up with his manuplations.
If My ex or anyone for that matter said they were going to kill themselves I would call the police too, that is not something you play around with in my opinion.
Hooked you back in? I dont know about that, he lied and you responded in the best way... you did not beg, promise to go back to him or manuplate anything....I dont think you got hooked, if anything he now knows you will not put up with his manuplations.
up and out
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 185
Totally agree with Cynay.
To place a phone call for help is something I would do for any human being in trouble. However....if you knew where he was you probably would have gone to meet him. That's where the hook really is. Its fortunate that things turned out this way because now you have a very good template to use when handling him in the future. You know he lied, you know he will lie in the future and you know he will manipulate.....the reasons will never make sense to you....they do not make sense to him either.
Once I stopped rescuing my exabf when he went out on a bender, I would simply call him a taxi when he called me drunk at the bookstore, or drunk at wal-mart or drunk wherever. I set the boundary that I don't do rescues anymore but it does not mean that I cannot make a phone call. I had to set the same boundary with one of my sisters after rescuing her on her first DWI. I suspect there will be more and i'm fully prepared not to join in.
You called for help. He received help. Simple. The rest is up to him and it is up to you to keep your boundary.
To place a phone call for help is something I would do for any human being in trouble. However....if you knew where he was you probably would have gone to meet him. That's where the hook really is. Its fortunate that things turned out this way because now you have a very good template to use when handling him in the future. You know he lied, you know he will lie in the future and you know he will manipulate.....the reasons will never make sense to you....they do not make sense to him either.
Once I stopped rescuing my exabf when he went out on a bender, I would simply call him a taxi when he called me drunk at the bookstore, or drunk at wal-mart or drunk wherever. I set the boundary that I don't do rescues anymore but it does not mean that I cannot make a phone call. I had to set the same boundary with one of my sisters after rescuing her on her first DWI. I suspect there will be more and i'm fully prepared not to join in.
You called for help. He received help. Simple. The rest is up to him and it is up to you to keep your boundary.
Last edited by appleblaster; 01-29-2007 at 02:34 PM. Reason: html
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
I agree with Cynay. I don't seeing hooking back in; you called the police. The decision now is whether to continue to do that if he threatens it again in the future. Perhaps he won't now that he knows what you'll do.
These types of situations are not the easiest to deal with - FWIW, I think you did good.
These types of situations are not the easiest to deal with - FWIW, I think you did good.
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
i think you did wonderful. next time, do the same thing.
everytime my xh threatened it, i called 911 and he always got arrested , not for the threat, but for being drunk and being beligerant. he got very tired of waking up in the padded cell at the jail with a giant hangover.
you did the right thing, imo. if he was serious, you may have helped save his life. if he was not serious, he will learn that you call the police when he threatens suicide.
good job
everytime my xh threatened it, i called 911 and he always got arrested , not for the threat, but for being drunk and being beligerant. he got very tired of waking up in the padded cell at the jail with a giant hangover.
you did the right thing, imo. if he was serious, you may have helped save his life. if he was not serious, he will learn that you call the police when he threatens suicide.
good job
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