hopeful and scared.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 26
hopeful and scared.
dh decided 11 days ago to quit drinking. He hasnt had a drink since.
But next weekend his friend is planning to come down. This guy drinks alot. I asked dh if he has told him and he said he has. But I know this guy is gonna push him.
He is a good person and friend. Because dh is from another country, he doesnt have alot of friends from around here.
But I'm scared. I want to trust him. I want to know that noone is going to push him into it. But, when the urge is there, how much push does it take to make someone cave?
I'm scared. Hopeful. I knew he would have to face this sooner or later.
But next weekend his friend is planning to come down. This guy drinks alot. I asked dh if he has told him and he said he has. But I know this guy is gonna push him.
He is a good person and friend. Because dh is from another country, he doesnt have alot of friends from around here.
But I'm scared. I want to trust him. I want to know that noone is going to push him into it. But, when the urge is there, how much push does it take to make someone cave?
I'm scared. Hopeful. I knew he would have to face this sooner or later.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
Prayers for his strength. He has alot to be proud of. I guess we can't plan the tests that come. If he's a real friend, he will respect your husbands decision not to drink and realize that maybe it isnt' an easy thing.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
My boyfriend's best friend knew that alcohol was destroying my boyfriend's mind and body and our relationship, but still he brought booze into our home and offered it to my boyfriend.
If your husband is serious about his recovery, nobody will be able to entice him to drink. If he's not serious, then he'll likely keep up with his friend, drink for drink. Either way, you can't predict the future nor change the outcome. Worrying over it is a waste of your time. When did worrying ever change anything?
If your husband is serious about his recovery, nobody will be able to entice him to drink. If he's not serious, then he'll likely keep up with his friend, drink for drink. Either way, you can't predict the future nor change the outcome. Worrying over it is a waste of your time. When did worrying ever change anything?
Becoming a Butterfly
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
This is the hard part of sticking it out with your beloved alcoholic. You cannot know what he's going to do. He doesn't know, so you cannot know.
I know it's hard not to worry about it, but it's part of detaching from this problem. If he drinks, if he does not - you can't control it. But you can drive yourself crazy trying.
Someone quoted an AA saying in another thread that I liked. It goes:
When she dies, HIS life is going to flash in front of her eyes.
Be gentle with yourself.
I know it's hard not to worry about it, but it's part of detaching from this problem. If he drinks, if he does not - you can't control it. But you can drive yourself crazy trying.
Someone quoted an AA saying in another thread that I liked. It goes:
When she dies, HIS life is going to flash in front of her eyes.
Be gentle with yourself.
Royalty
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 366
I agree with Wantsout. AH is going to do what he is going to do. You cannot make him drink or not drink.
I would probably spend some time planning what I would be doing that weekend, for myself, instead of driving myself nuts. It might be a good time to start going to AlAnon meetings.
I would probably spend some time planning what I would be doing that weekend, for myself, instead of driving myself nuts. It might be a good time to start going to AlAnon meetings.
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