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LIFEOUTTHERE 01-29-2007 10:03 AM

Submissive Wives & Alcoholic Husbands
 
What does it mean to be a submissive wife.

Should we be submissive wives when our husbands are alcoholics?

My XAH use to tell me that I was disobeying God because I was not a submissive wife.

Is it easier to be a submissive wife when you have a Godly husband? A husband that loves you and wants to take care of you.

Just curious. We had this conversation this weekend and it has been on my mind.

WantsOut 01-29-2007 10:08 AM

Why did God give me feet if they weren't meant to kick my husband's butt? ;)

LIFEOUTTHERE 01-29-2007 10:12 AM

Mine was always sitting on his rear end, could not kick it.

He even kelp a cooler by his chair so he would not have to get up to go to the refridge.

WantsOut 01-29-2007 10:17 AM

I think that when you want to live by Christian principles it's vital that you find a man who values them as much as you do. That should be a "must have" on your list.

I also believe that in that type of relationship the husband has a burden to deserve his wifes Gody devotion by being a good husband to her. That means what the Christian vows say - he loves her, honors her, and cherishes her.

There are many men just dying to find a wife who has the values you have. I think your odds are very good of finding a loving relationship like the one you envision.

LIFEOUTTHERE 01-29-2007 10:26 AM

Not looking for a man just yet, the ink is not dry on the divorce papers, but I will put that on my list. Thanks WantsOut

lillamy 01-29-2007 10:31 AM

Whenever anyone brings up the submissive wife thing to me, I point out that the same section of the Bible calls for me to be to their wife as Jesus is to his people -- giving himself completely up for her, to the point of death.

It's not a competition -- but you know, if your spouse seems more possessed by, ehem, "other" spiritual powers, I say the contract's broken...

lillamy 01-29-2007 10:32 AM

Should be "calls for MEN to be to their wife as Jesus to his people." Not me. :lol

Cynay 01-29-2007 10:45 AM

So funny now ... but when I was young and romantic I believed that there was that one, only one soulmate for you. That there are many that you can love and be loved by but only one soul mate....

That because a women was made from the rib of a man, that I carried my soulmates rib.... I was made from one man.

Today I would have to say that submissive is more to Gods will and the husband would have to have the same spiritual strength if not stronger.

mallowcup 01-29-2007 11:18 AM

No you sould not be submissive to an alcholic. Submission is not an act of stupidity. It is an act or respect to a man who takes seriously the word of God.

serenityprayer 01-29-2007 11:23 AM

UMMM What happened to all men are created equal here ? That is the biggest bunch of BS I have ever heard...
This must be why my sexual fantasies involve a leather whip and a ballgag..

Marriage is supposed to be an equal respect for one another - not top dog we aren't living in the 1950's any more..

Listen to me the one who knows what she wants but doesn't have it - lmao

TexasGirl 01-29-2007 11:25 AM


Originally Posted by lillamy
Whenever anyone brings up the submissive wife thing to me, I point out that the same section of the Bible calls for me to be to their wife as Jesus is to his people -- giving himself completely up for her, to the point of death.

Biblically speaking, yes, that is right on.

And WantsOut said it best....if you want to live your life following these principles, then you have to have someone equally willing to do their part. I heard this line too. I think As are reeeeeeeallly good at finding any little thing to work in their favor. Mine pulled out all the Biblical stops he could on me in an effort to manipulate me back home.

mallowcup 01-29-2007 11:31 AM

serenity, knowledge is power. Submission to a man who loves God is an act of respect to God. All men are created equal. Men and women form a union of collaboration. Do you want to be right or do right. There is no shame or degradation in the submission of an intelligent woman. I am no idiot.

serenityprayer 01-29-2007 12:35 PM

Why would your partner ask to you to submit if they thought of you as an equal ?

mallowcup 01-29-2007 12:46 PM

Your partner doesn't ask. God does. It is one thing to submit out of fear or stupidity, it is another to submit when you don't have to, you submit because you can.You don't need to prove your equalness. A two headed snake will eat itself because it won't collaborate. It wants to win. A relationship that is constantly proving itself to others doesn't grow. Even the most successful company has a CEO. Ingnorance is blind to the collaboration that makes the company a success. I am a pretty smart woman and I bend willingly. My willingness to bend is my statement, it is the measure I show the world. I don't have to bend, but I can and I will. This is far more impressive to me than , "I am woman, hear me roar". If you know me, you know I can roar, you also know I choose not to. I celebrate the difference between men and women. They are meant to compliment each other. You do not know the joy and peace in submission because you do not know a man who understands that you don't owe it. If a woman is at peace and has joy showing, isn't it a compliment to her husband? I don't need to band a drum up and down the street, if I am happy, it shows. If I am unhappy and not at peace, it's all hard, it's all work. Women can not submit to a man who does not love her, honor her and cherish her, keeping her only unto himself and forsaking all others and be at peace or be happy. Submission to someone drink is just one more perversion.

serenityprayer 01-29-2007 12:50 PM

I guess I never had that problem.. There was never any "who wears the pants in this family" actually... There wasn't anything... He lived for himself and himself alone - completely detached from his family..

If the universe ever decides to lay a wonderful man in my path and we share our lives together I would have no problem letting him take the wheel - as long as he did what he said he was going to do..

I suppose that whole "submission" thing really rubs me the wrong way. I don't think it's necessary if both are in sync.. maybe that's just me and wishful thinking...

mallowcup 01-29-2007 01:01 PM

Your husband isnt' in sync. Submission for you is a calamity. How hard is it to submit to a man who thinks you are a girft from God, who loves you, honors you, keeps you forsaking all others, loves you te way Christ loves the church? That isn't work, that is a dream come true. God just tells us how it can be when BOTH partners are wroking for the same thing with the same core beliefs.

serenityprayer 01-29-2007 01:10 PM

YES KNOWLEDGE IS POWER..
That is exactly my point... It is not necessary if both are in sync and respect each other equally.. There is no push - there is no argument - it doesn't exist.. Each person is aware of the others needs and wants and meets them because they want to.. So there is no need to "submit" - it is a mutual existence..

Main Entry: sub·mit
Pronunciation: s&b-'mit
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): sub·mit·ted; sub·mit·ting
Etymology: Middle English submitten, from Latin submittere to lower, submit, from sub- + mittere to send
transitive verb
1 a : to yield to governance or authority b : to subject to a condition, treatment, or operation

One does not wish to rule the other.. Or am I misunderstanding the meaning of the word ? Are you using it differently ?

mallowcup 01-29-2007 01:15 PM

Yeah but men submit to God. It doesn't stop with womens submission. What is really saying is that "women there is rest, worries you needn't take on". You are taking the word out of context. When a child submits to his mother, is that demeaning? It is an honorable thing.

FormerDoormat 01-29-2007 01:16 PM

Excuse me, but the Bible was written by MEN. And don't give me that "it was written by enlightened men" crap. God gives everyone free will to do and say what they want. Even the authors of the Bible. That submissive wife stuff is a bunch of bunk.

serenityprayer 01-29-2007 01:20 PM

THANK YOU FOR THE SAVE !!

I was beginning to feel I was the only one not willing to buy into that co-dependent crap....

Phew - almost picked up that phone and called and apologized to him for everything he did to me.. ha ha


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