He moved out
 

He finally listened in a moment of sobriety and moved out. I am scheduled to see an attorney tomorrow and so the fact that he did do this last night should make things a bit easier.

He went to his fathers today and confessed all. This is a huge step for him. He is always holding everything in. Won't open up to anyone. His Dad has gone to see him soo many times this past year to try and talk to him and all my husband every says is that it's all ok.

I'm not ready to say divorce but I am standing my ground on the seperation. I don't know if he's hit his rock bottom yet but I hit mine this past week. Why do I feel like I'm in a haze? I don't know how I am suppose to feel atm.

Heavenlyx,

Sometimes for me, I feel in a haze when Im on emotion overload. That combined with lack of quality sleep and Im a wreck. Even the most well slept and emotionally grounded people are entitled to feeling less than fab in the midst of a separation.

Can you do something nice for yourself? That you enjoy and feel rejuvanated after? I went to a tanning bed today, bc I enjoy it. I did some mending of some clothes that needed work and I have been avoiding. Just little things to take care of myself.

Thats whats important! Rule #1 of hole digging...when you are in a hole- stop digging! Sounds like you are ready to stop digging!

Keep coming back :)

(((Heavenly))) Welcome.

Separating is an emotional time. I recall being in a haze when I separated from my AH also. As soon I signed the apartment lease (in my case, I moved out) and after crying on the apartment managers' shoulder (literally!), I left to come home and tell my AH. I was in a total haze and complete shock. I remember thinking "Why did I just do that??? How could I??? Is it THAT bad at home???"

I did it because I'd been miserable for many years. It was God working in my life through supportive friends who helped me find the courage to leave. And yes, it was THAT bad living with AH.

Give yourself some time. Your feelings may take you in several directions.

Know whatever you're feeling is ok, and that we're here for you.

Big hugs to you~
GHM

Thank you for the advice and support. I'm up early. Scared of course. I've been bullied around so long and this attorney is really hard nosed. I am determined walk in there and tell her what *I* want. I'm tired of people telling me what to do. I want it the way that I feel it should be.

Thanks so much ya'll
Kelly

(((Hugs to you)))

When I signed my apartment lease, I doubted myself sooo badly. However, now I know that I have grown and healed (some) in the last three months.
It is our Higher Power's way of moving us out of the situation we are currently in and into a situation that He wants for us.

Good luck to you....

From someone taking baby steps herself each day....

It's a difficult process. What carried me through the moments of doubt was the vision of myself two weeks after if I'd decided to stay. I knew I'd be sorry I hadn't stuck to my guns if I gave up and who knows how long it would take to build up momentum again.

Well, I'm home. I went and told her how I wanted it and it's being done. PHEW! All I feel like doing now is getting into something comfortable and grabbing a blanket and watching a movie. Time to let the brain rest a bit.

Yes, self-care. I need to get to some of that today too. Your plan sounds very comfortable and good for you.

I admire you, stay strong and let us know how you are doing.
I am in a very similar situation and need advice on should I stay or leave him
Husband is a cocaine addict and alcoholic. Life can be wonderful and happy with him but an absolute nightmare also. He has been sober since Jan 6 and was in rehab for two weeks. Do I hang in there one more time? It has only been and 1001 one more chances!!! Just wanted to get your view on this.
I think all my friends are sick and tired of me crying on their shoulders. They have told me to leave him for years now so I feel stupid talking to them now.
Well thanks for listening to me and good luck to you~
Leslie

Deciding to stay or leave is a very difficult decision for a lot of us. I got the strength to do it by reading the posts here and by talking to my therapist and family... finally realizing that if I stayed with my AH, that I had years of the same b.s. to look forward to. Would there be some happy moments in those years? Probably, but I deserve more than that. I deserve to have a husband who cares for me the way I care for him. I deserve to be with someone really great. I'm trying really hard now to understand why I was willing to tolerate such unacceptable behavior for these past six years.

Reading the posts here has been an incredible source of strength and learning for me. I copy and paste many things people say here into emails to myself to remind myself of all the golden info to be had here. And it has helped me immensely.

Hang in there LeslieJo...keep reading and posting.

P.S. I don't mean to make leaving sound easy! It is a struggle for me still. I just don't see how I could allow myself to succomb to the alternative. Sometimes I feel "weak" and just want to rush into his arms. Just want to hold him and smell his neck. And I have to literally hold myself back. I keep telling myself I can't base a lifetime on good spooning.

Folks I am an alcoholic, Martin. My hat is off to the ladies who finally stepped up to the plate and said enough is enough, I/you are out of here!

My wife doing that to me is what finally got me sober.

You all have done your selfs are great service, you are number one, you have made a decision and taken action that at a minimum will make you far happier and may just wake up a drunk to reality!!! It did me, but sadly some of us are sicker then others, we have different bottoms... with some of us the bottom is death.