Frustrated With Family - Part 2
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Hanging In There
Posts: 87
Frustrated With Family - Part 2
One of the clear boundaries I set with him about his family, no more telling them our business or any of my personal business. He knows I don't like him being around their party atmosphere but that is his to deal with not mine.
Another issue came up today. T got a call from his Mom. Aunt, Uncle, cousins, friends & of course immediate family was all at her place and they wanted him to come over. And of course they were all drinking.
He was at the store and called me to ask what he should do. I said I am not going to give you an answer that is up to you. Then he says my Mom wants to know why you were at ER last week, what should I tell her? I told him he needs to be clear that it's my business and I don't want it known.
Apparently T had told his daughter I had been at ER so of course she made sure to tell the whole family. (they love to gossip – it’s what they do) Jeezzz they have never asked T how he is doing with AA or his sobriety, or asked how I am doing when they know that T's Sept actions caused what my therapist is calling post traumatic stress, but they are all over there and want to know what my ER visit was for. Mind you – they didn’t even ask if I was okay – just wanted to know the scoop.
Can't they just carry on with their drinking and find something or someone else to talk about?
The greatest thing is…. T made up his mind on his own not to go. He said he felt uncomfortable there the other day and that there were a lot more people over there drinking today and he didn’t feel it would be in his best interest to be there.
He came home as planned, we fixed dinner and then went to an AA meeting together.
Maybe, there is light at the end of the tunnel!!!
Another issue came up today. T got a call from his Mom. Aunt, Uncle, cousins, friends & of course immediate family was all at her place and they wanted him to come over. And of course they were all drinking.
He was at the store and called me to ask what he should do. I said I am not going to give you an answer that is up to you. Then he says my Mom wants to know why you were at ER last week, what should I tell her? I told him he needs to be clear that it's my business and I don't want it known.
Apparently T had told his daughter I had been at ER so of course she made sure to tell the whole family. (they love to gossip – it’s what they do) Jeezzz they have never asked T how he is doing with AA or his sobriety, or asked how I am doing when they know that T's Sept actions caused what my therapist is calling post traumatic stress, but they are all over there and want to know what my ER visit was for. Mind you – they didn’t even ask if I was okay – just wanted to know the scoop.
Can't they just carry on with their drinking and find something or someone else to talk about?
The greatest thing is…. T made up his mind on his own not to go. He said he felt uncomfortable there the other day and that there were a lot more people over there drinking today and he didn’t feel it would be in his best interest to be there.
He came home as planned, we fixed dinner and then went to an AA meeting together.
Maybe, there is light at the end of the tunnel!!!
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: The South
Posts: 75
That's wonderful he made the decision not to go to his mother's house. It's a big step when sons can do that. My husband made that choice (though it had nothing to do with his alcoholism) and it was one of the best things he has ever done. Well, he made the choice to have nothing to do with his parents anymore, period.
And at least he asked what he should tell his mother about your ER visit. He did remember that you didn't want your personal information spread around. It's a start. Oh, and I hope that you are fine.
And at least he asked what he should tell his mother about your ER visit. He did remember that you didn't want your personal information spread around. It's a start. Oh, and I hope that you are fine.
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