"thanks for nothing" he says
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: By the sea
Posts: 415
"thanks for nothing" he says
Called AH in detox.
Told him my family knows about everything.
He says "thanks for helping out. thanks for nothing. thanks for helping me out"
I say "it was for ME"
He hangs up.
He sounds like an a-hole. I hope he continues to sing this tune, it will make things easier for me in some ways.
Told him my family knows about everything.
He says "thanks for helping out. thanks for nothing. thanks for helping me out"
I say "it was for ME"
He hangs up.
He sounds like an a-hole. I hope he continues to sing this tune, it will make things easier for me in some ways.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
sounds like a typical response. i've heard it a million times from xh. i finally got my gut full clear up to my eyeballs of the insanity, and moved forward.
it wasn't easy, but it can be done. you can do it too, if that is what you want.
just like the alcoholic, who needs to want their sobriety over everything else in the world....we also need to want our own recovery more than anything else. that means making sacrifices of our past way of thinking and doing.
best of everything to you
it wasn't easy, but it can be done. you can do it too, if that is what you want.
just like the alcoholic, who needs to want their sobriety over everything else in the world....we also need to want our own recovery more than anything else. that means making sacrifices of our past way of thinking and doing.
best of everything to you
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 105
Yes it sounds like the same attitude I was faced with, too.
My AH wouldn't even speak to me during his detox. Infact, next time we spoke was during the family program portion of his rehab stay, some several weeks after he left for detox. He was pleasant (but had acute withdrawl symptoms badly and couldn't remember the simpliest of things like what kind of car I drove!)
Of course, once back at home (literally it started when I picked him up at the airport) he proceeded to be ANGRY at me for months and months and months! Blamed me for absolutely everything! He took NO responsibility for anything, including agreeing to detox / rehab, as if I held a gun to his head or something. (He should've been so lucky!)
I recall very well the tremendous disappointment I felt that his detox / rehab didn't have the Hollywood ending the movies portrayed. There were no real feelings of gratitude toward me, no heartfelt regrets, no true desire to do anything to help himself, to help us, only the will to continue drinking - which he does to this day, 5 years later.
This all transpired shortly after 9/11, and our friend encouraged him during the intervention to seize the opportunity for help as a chance to '"drop the bunker-bustin' bomb on the Taliban of his life".
Hmmm. I should've listened to that advice.
Hope you continue feeling motivated to move in a position direction for yourself.
Peace to you~
GHM
My AH wouldn't even speak to me during his detox. Infact, next time we spoke was during the family program portion of his rehab stay, some several weeks after he left for detox. He was pleasant (but had acute withdrawl symptoms badly and couldn't remember the simpliest of things like what kind of car I drove!)
Of course, once back at home (literally it started when I picked him up at the airport) he proceeded to be ANGRY at me for months and months and months! Blamed me for absolutely everything! He took NO responsibility for anything, including agreeing to detox / rehab, as if I held a gun to his head or something. (He should've been so lucky!)
I recall very well the tremendous disappointment I felt that his detox / rehab didn't have the Hollywood ending the movies portrayed. There were no real feelings of gratitude toward me, no heartfelt regrets, no true desire to do anything to help himself, to help us, only the will to continue drinking - which he does to this day, 5 years later.
This all transpired shortly after 9/11, and our friend encouraged him during the intervention to seize the opportunity for help as a chance to '"drop the bunker-bustin' bomb on the Taliban of his life".
Hmmm. I should've listened to that advice.
Hope you continue feeling motivated to move in a position direction for yourself.
Peace to you~
GHM
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 105
I do, for now. (We separated for over a year and I moved back for reasons unrelated to our relationship, falsely believing we could be roommates for a period of time.)
But know this, I'm planning my future and actively working on setting myself free once and for all. There will come a day when I no longer endure life with him.
His obnoxious treatment continually motivates me to do what I need to do for myself.
Stay the course, NEG....
Hugs,
GHM
But know this, I'm planning my future and actively working on setting myself free once and for all. There will come a day when I no longer endure life with him.
His obnoxious treatment continually motivates me to do what I need to do for myself.
Stay the course, NEG....
Hugs,
GHM
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: nowheresville
Posts: 872
Quackity, quack, quack, quack!
Cat
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Originally Posted by newenglandgirl 
Called AH in detox.
Told him my family knows about everything.
He says "thanks for helping out. thanks for nothing. thanks for helping me out"
I say "it was for ME"
He hangs up.
He sounds like an a-hole. I hope he continues to sing this tune, it will make things easier for me in some ways.
Told him my family knows about everything.
He says "thanks for helping out. thanks for nothing. thanks for helping me out"
I say "it was for ME"
He hangs up.
He sounds like an a-hole. I hope he continues to sing this tune, it will make things easier for me in some ways.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: HK
Posts: 115
How could he say that!
Sometimes I find it much more frustrating to deal with a sober A than an active one. If they do or say something unreasonable, you can’t blame on the alcohol anymore. Don’t know if it’d be easier for us if we try to tell ourselves it’s the “alcoholic personality”. It seems that many As are very angry inside because they can’t accept the fact that they are an alcoholic.
Sometimes I find it much more frustrating to deal with a sober A than an active one. If they do or say something unreasonable, you can’t blame on the alcohol anymore. Don’t know if it’d be easier for us if we try to tell ourselves it’s the “alcoholic personality”. It seems that many As are very angry inside because they can’t accept the fact that they are an alcoholic.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Originally Posted by LiLL
Sometimes I find it much more frustrating to deal with a sober A than an active one.
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